I believe marriage should be based on truth -- this is a very rocky start and I wonder what other landmines I will find
2006-08-26 11:17:38 · 39 answers · asked by diveskietc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He told me he paid $15,000 for the ring and insured it as well. He also lied about his earnings ... he said he made $180,000/year and I found his paycheque stub -- it is signifcantly different. He makes $34,000/year. I make more than he does. I'm finding more and more untruths, he even lied about the year of his car.
2006-08-26 11:26:52 · update #1
My question makes me sound like a gold digger. I didn't ask for the ring, in fact I told him I'm not into jewellery anyway. I'm most concerned about the mistruth of it. He was bragging what a high quality 3 cut diamond it was.
2006-08-26 11:55:04 · update #2
Honey...let me say it straight....if you found out all this ....if he will lie about income and something as petty as the year of his car....take this from a nice guy who has been married faithfully for the last 6 years......RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.....THERE ARE BETTER GUYS OUT THERE!! Thats the only way I can say it and the best way i can say it. Good luck to you
2006-08-26 12:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by bill6866 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Return the ring to him. Don't let him know that you know it is cubic and tell him that you are having some serious misgivings. That people might feel that you are only into him for the money and that you want to take some time and find out if he is the right guy for you. Then just leave. Don't take his calls, don't go out with him any more and don't let him lead you on any longer. The truth about his earnings, his car and then the ring these are not good signs at all. You will not have a good marriage with this guy and you already know this. End your relationship with a lie, like the lies he has been telling you.
2006-08-26 13:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to think that he bought the ring from bad source, not knowing it's not a real diamond. But it sounds like your man lies a lot for other things. The main question is, can you trust this guy after all these lies? If he knew the ring was fake, then that shows his level of respect towards you. What...he thought you wouldn't find out???? Honesty and open communication is very important in marriage, so I think you should be open and ask him about this ring (but not in a confrontational manner). It's your ring now......you should have all the paperwork along with your ring......if that ring has been properly insured (as he claims), then he should have all the paperwork (i.e., insurance, certification of the diamond, etc.). Good luck!
2006-08-26 11:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your instincts are talking to you and you should listen.
Chronic lying, be they little or big lies portend problems. I could not respect a liar. If you can't respect someone, how will you love them?
If you marry and bring children into this union, how will that affect them and what type of behavior problems may come about? Will the children learn that lying is ok?
He's lying about major things (money is a big part of a relationship like it or not) since money means security for families.
If it were me, I'd end the relationship. It just depends on what kind of life you want. I think your values and his are very different. Look at his family dynamics and start thinking about it in very clear terms - unemotionally and make lists of pros & cons about what you see.
Then make your final decision or at the VERY least get some counseling/professional help with this matter.
2006-08-27 08:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would be worried. Not because the ring was CZ, but more so because of all of the other things he has lied about. You are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with that will love, cherish respect and need you. If you are going to get married you need to sit down and find out all of the things he has misled you on. Things such as income (unless he doesnt work or is BROKE) shouldnt matter a whole lot, but nonetheless is important. I think that if he starts the marriage with lies you will get nothing BUT lies the rest of it, especially if he knows you are ok with the lies... Call him on his errs.... if he said it was because he didnt think you would want him then check him on that...
good luck honey...
2006-08-26 16:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he did not know that it was a fake. You might bring this up to him. See what he says. There are less than reputable jewelers out there that might try to cheat a customer in this way. If you really don't trust him, ask to see the receipt. It will be pretty obvious from that if it was a natural diamond or a cubic zirconium. However, if you have this little trust in him, it may be time to reconsider the marriage.
2006-08-26 12:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by Glenn Blaylock 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's a liar, what more do you need to know? This has nothing to do with gold digging, this is about trust, he lied about more than one thing. If it was just the ring I might think that he gto taken advantage of by a bad jeweler, but he is clearly a liar. What else has he lied about that you just haven't found out about yet?
2006-08-26 16:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him the benefit of the doubt.Cause maybe he was a shamed that he couldn't afford a real diamond ring for you.So don't go calling off the wedding just becasue he tryied to pass off a cubic as a diamond engagment ring.I'd be glad that he could get you a ring at all for that matter. good luck
2006-08-26 12:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should rethink your intentions to marry him and find out why he has to lie to make himself look good does he have some type of complex or something as a rule of thumb the next man who tells you a ring any ring he gives you cost 15K or more please insist that the two of you go and have it appraised as well as insured together if its a fake he will get real quiet.
2006-08-26 14:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that he is just very insecure about his financial status and is afraid that you wouldn't want him if he was "just a regular guy".
Whatever the issue, it's something you should explore with him before you get married. Trust is something built over time. It looks like he's pretty much destroyed what was there, and you shouldn't get married until it's been built back up.
Do your best to make sure there are no REALLY unpleasant surprises (concealed past marriages / children, problems with the law, etc.), and decide how you want to proceed from there..
2006-08-26 11:46:23 · answer #10 · answered by AmericanDreamer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he wanted to buy you the ring of the right carat but couldnt afford it, and at this moment he bought what he thought you wanted in size , but remenber the ring isnt always the right answer I bought my wife a very small diamond 20 yrs ago for this is all I could afford we are still together even though I wanted to buy her a bigger diamond years later she refused ,some time thought is the answer ,but if you love him you will talk to him and find out the truth >remember sometimes us guys are just stupid
2006-08-26 11:32:21 · answer #11 · answered by rev frank 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋