Am I a prostitute or just promiscuous?

Question

I really like to have my male friends,I am good looking and I never have trouble getting lots of attention and opportunity when the mood arises. My male companions, some friends, some who I've just met that night usually pay my way and give me gifts and there is usually something on my part exchanged in return.
I just really like men and sex and I don't want to give up that part of my life. I don't really feel that badly about it, but sometimes wonder if I should, since I don't have any feelings for the men in my life besides being "friends".
I know God already has forgiven me since I am saved, but I like my male friends and I am giving them some love that they need in thier lives and they are giving me what I want too, Is that so bad?

Answer 1

I think you're just promiscuous. I believe you when you say you just really like men and sex. Where you would be a prostitute would be your giving sex to whoever had the money (or the gifts). It doesn't appear that you sell your body for money.

Do you need these gifts? Do you set out to get the gifts by making yourself sexually available? That would be prostituting yourself. If you are just enjoying yourself and allowing sex, the fact that you get gifts does not make you a prostitute.

Casual sex is not particularly good for you. Aside from STD's,
meaningless sex can interfere with your eventual ease in bonding with a man. If you don't have any feelings for these guys, then part of you may be shut down (withheld) when you are with them.

Since they are your "friends," and since they are men, they aren't going to care about that, or maybe even know about it. Sex is different for them. What matters is whether your promiscuity is really right for you.

Your asking the question indicates that it might not be. I don't think your promiscuity is inherently bad, though.

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I just discovered from more recent questions that you're married. My comments were directed to a single woman, not a married one. Perhaps your promiscuous sex has caused a problem with your bond with your husband. You are wondering whether he is cheating on *you*, which means you don't trust him.

If he is cheating on you, it may be because you aren't meeting his intimacy needs. His being good looking or encountering good looking women won't make him stray. A lack of intimacy with you might.

Answer 2

This from the same person who posted about being an abortionist with about 5,000 notches on your instruments? Hmmm, are we trying to stir up a little trouble? I answered the other question, and said that I was sorry that people were going to really hammer you for saying it. But, you may, after all, be asking for it.

I doubt anyone will listen to me, but we would be better off answering these questions out of love and respect for our neighbors, just as we want to be answered ourselves. Remember; it is not only the person asking the questions who reads the answers, but others as well. Give a real, thoughtful answer and you just might help someone.

What a person with such behavior would be, in my opinion, is promiscuous. Not a prostitute. This person is not performing these acts in return for payment.

You are not giving someone love; love is not sex, sex is not love.
"Making love" is a terrible way to describe intercourse. You cannot make love.

Is it bad? Yes. Sex outside of marriage is a sin. Doing so over and over without repentance is very bad. You ask this question, you know it is wrong to do.

I am sorry this got my attention, and no doubt the attention of many others. You are getting exactly what you want, but I am answering not for your benefit, but for the benefit of some young girl who may actually be mislead by your faulty logic.

Please keep in mind that you can really mess someone up and send them down a bad path by telling them something is ok when it is not. You will be held accountable for leading the "little ones" astray (Mark 9:42). A lot of young people read this stuff. Please be careful. If you are young yourself, I am sorry that you have been mislead. Read some of the serious responses to this type of question and gain some insight into the results of reckless behavior.

Answer 3

And you think it's right to break hearts like that? Oh, yes, give them a little love then take it away. That will really build trust. Too many gay guys have told me, I can't trust women, they won't stand by you in the long run. Some of us have stronger sexual urges than others, but it's emotionally, physically & spiritually healther to satisy them with one person you can bond to. Then marry the hot hunk and ride off into eternity. Right now you resemble a kitty in heat and you are better than that.

You are coming close to crossing the line from promiscuous to prostitute. You will cross the line when you promise sexual favors for money/gifts/etc. or someone promises that for you.

Your saved? Then you had better know that he bore your sins. 1 Peter 2:24
He invented time, so you can imagine that every new sin is going back in time and being heaped on him like more thorns and more slices from the lash, only worse. See John 8:11, He tells the adulteress "Go and sin no more." So, like, you don't mind hurting him on purpose? Just how long do you think he'll protect you from harm?

Answer 4

Sounds like a good life. I lived that way from 30, when I was divorced, until 42, when I couldn't stay up late and go dancing 3-4 times a week. Things have been tamer since but, I have had more than 1 lover at most times since I was 30. I have finally met the man I love at 55. As for the gifts, expect more. You are saving those men money by not marrying them. Besides don't they have an entertainment budget. Don't be a gold digger but, do be the most fun way for them to spend their money. By the way, watch Marilyn Monroe romantic comedies like Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Seven Itch, How To Marry a Millionaire. You will easily absorb her philsophy.

Answer 5

You will find as you continue down this road that the emptiness inside will consume you. You are trying to fill a need through these men...they will never be able to fill.

If you continue down this road, sex outside of marriage (fornication) your salvation could be in danger. You say you are saved but if you read in the Bible (Galatians 5 or 6 - Fruit of the Spirit) you will find you fall into the category of not inheriting the earth.

You need to repent of your sins and walk away from your old habits. There is no condemnation in Christ and forgiveness is free...only if you decide to stop sinning. To continue does put your eternal life in the south lane.

May you find the peace and contentment in the Lord Jesus; for He is the only one that can give you salvation.

Answer 6

A prostitute gets paid for her services. Promiscuous is just a nice way of saying you sleep around. First of all God does forgive, but remember that the Bible tells us to Repent. Do you know what that means, (I'm not trying to be mean) it means to do a complete turn around and turn away from your sin. It means you need to stop what you are doing if you are truly repentant. You said men, not one man. Aren't you worried about disease, pregnancy. You may be putting your life in danger. You are saying that nothing else matters, your sex life is the most important thing, God is second. That is a form of idolatry. Do you think that if you got a disease that the "men" would still like you? They would drop you like a hot potato, but God won't. He would still love you and forgive you. God doesn't give us rules to live by to make us miserable, He gives us rules to make our life better. How is your relationship with your dad? Sometimes women confuse love with sex. Best to rethink your situation, consult the best, God.

Answer 7

Are you hurting anyone?
Are you happy?

If no one gets hurt by way of heartbreaks, STD's, and pregnancy (abortions are on god's no-no list these days) then nothing is a sin.

If you are doing because you enjoy it and not as a form of validating yourself through male attention, then everything is fine.

A good honest heart and the use of the free will he gave you is worth more in God's eyes than a closed mind forcing you to obey the bible inarguably.

Not being a Christian,I am basing it off of what I learned from Christians who believe a blind zealous fervor is a sin unto itself.

Be happy, be honest, hurt no one, and live your life well and all will be fine.

Answer 8

Yeah I think that you know you are in a bad position. If you were truly saved u would find yourself beginning to walk away from that lifestyle. I wouldn't be bold and say you would stop cold but u would have begun to lose interest in those activities. In all honesty they may not have labeled u as an escort or prostitiute...but its that type of activity. Besides, they type of "love" you are giving them is not the love they need. They lust for you and want any type of sexual activites they can get. You need to wake up!

Answer 9

jane l,
I have an idea. Don't change a thing. I think that you are as much a Christian as anyone. I have no problem with what you are doing.

There are a couple of things to watch out for though.

God changing you.
He chastens those He loves. That can mean VD, unwanted pregnancy, being in bed with a guy that beats you to death or close to it, etc. It could also mean that you victimize someone who gets too attached and he really wants to die.

Are you the type that detaches emotionally easily? That could hurt you too.

Answer 10

Prostitution is more of a business than sex. Well, it's both since the product is sexual services. Yours is more of a mental or psychological problem because your not asking for a fee for your services, it's free. The gifts you receive are probably guilt offerings. Your mind craves for the orgasmic high. It is an addiction. It is called nymphomania. I suggest you get professional help.