Mexicans - do you really use Ud, Uds when you are talking?

Question

I went 3 years of school and they all talked about using usted and ustedes with strangers because it's "formal" but I have lived with my boyfriend and his family 2 years and have never heard them or anyone use it and I hear Spanish every day. Do you really use it? If so - with who? If I am talking to a stranger on the street and I use TU instead of USTED will they really get insulted? Or do the classes I took just suck?

I wanted to ask Mexicans because those are the ones I am around all the time - and I didn't want someone from another dialect to answer - maybe in Spain, Guatamala, Puerto Rico, etc. etc. they use it more or less often - or differently

Crap I was hoping you guys would say know because that's the number one thing that keeps me from speaking it to people I don't know - that fear of do I say usted or tu.. So how do I know what they want me to call them??

Answer 1

You're not hearing it because your boyfriend and his family are using Spanish with people they are familiar with. Cause they are having friends and family over or otherwise feel comfortable with the people they are using it with. Mexicans (primarily in Mexico) do use usted and ustedes forms. You'd be surprised how the spanish you're hearing will vary if you were to travel over the border and hear it. Especially in the consumer centers! Those people want you to buy and will be ever so polite! As for whether someone would think you rude if you didn't address them as usted and were a stranger or younger in age they might either think you were poorly educated and ill-mannered or not able to properly use the language. Your classes were good and will prepare you for the spanish speaking countries and many situations...

Answer 2

I am not Mexican but will answer. The only difference in using the terms is. Tu is used in a less proper setting. Usted is used as a form of respect.
So if you are speaking to a group of younger people, the word Tu is used. If you are speaking to the parents or a group of elders, then use Usted. Its a matter of being proper and polite. If I was to speak to a complete stranger, I would use Usted only because it is proper and it will make you sound so educated!

God I love my language!

Answer 3

Yes... you need to use Usted and Ustedes if you don't know the people you are talking to... once the ice breaks you can "tutearlos" if you think they'll be fine with it... sometimes people will insist in not being called usted...

If you didn't hear the family say usted it's because they know each other very much... after all they're family... hehe

oh... and btw... mexicans aren't the only spanish speaking populace of the world...

Answer 4

This is in response to your last post; how do you know when to use which. I teach high school Spanish and as a general rule I tell my kids that if you would not call the person by their first name then you use Ud. Sometimes when I am a little unsure I listen carefully and hope that I will hear them use tu or Ud. with me first... then I know which to use for sure!
As another general rule... most will think that you are being polite if you use Ud. and not be offended. On the other hand, if you use tu when you really shouldn't you do risk offending.
Hope that helps.

Answer 5

I say Usted or Ustedes when I am talking to adults or if I don't know the people well to show respect. But I use Tu, when I am in a casual environment when I am with family and friends.

Answer 6

YES! You MUST use 'usted / ustedes" when talking with strangers, clients, or people older than yourself. It is rude and offensive if you don't. The reason you don't hear it with your boyfriend and his family is because that is an informal relationship.
If you're afraid to talk to strangers because you don't know whether to use "usted" or "tu", just go with "usted". If they want you to use "tu" they will tell you. Better safe than sorry, right?
Also, don't be afraid to step up and tell people what to use with you.

Answer 7

Absolutely, you have to! Unlike the last post would lead you to believe, Mexican culture is very formal! Even in chilangolandia if I went around using tu, it would make me look really tacky. If in doubt, always use UD. It will show you to have good manners, and you'll score major points with your family.
I think you don't hear it so much at your bf because they are intimate family and consider you the same. But it's all about respect. Yes, Mexicans do expect good manners.

BTW Vosotros is still used in southern Mexico esp. Chiapas.

Answer 8

Yeah I use ud and uds when I don't know a person and I just met them and for people that are older than me. You use tu with people who are within your age range. Well maybe your boyfriend's family have a different way of talking or communicating with eachother because they have trust within eachother. Umm some people may get insulted if you say tu to them it depends, some won't but I suggest it's better if you say ud (one person) or uds (many people).

Answer 9

I am Mexican, i use Usted when i talk to may boss, my teacher or an old person. When I talk to stranger if they are young I use "Tú". I use "Tú" with my family and my friends. I thing that the most of people does not care about you use "Tú" or "Usted" with them but I had a teacher that didn't permit anybody use "Tú" with him even his children (i think he exaggerates).

"Ustedes" is used by all people here in Mexico no matter if you are talking to your friends or your teachers. In Spain they use "Vosotros" like plural of "Tú".

Answer 10

I know you said Mexicans, and I'm not. But I'm acquainted with the subject, so I'll dare give you some advice.

Here's a practical rule. If the person is at least as old as your parents, use "usted" till they invite you to use "tú". Also if it's a man, younger than your father, but older than you. If it's a woman younger than your mother, you may use "tú". If they're your generation or younger, don't worry and use "tú". But this doesn't apply to relatives and close friends. With them you'd always use "tú".

BTW, in the plural, you will always use "ustedes" everywhere outside Spain (and even in some regions of Spain). "Vosotros" is hardly ever used in Latin America. And it always sounds fake.