My daughter is 9 and she has complained that a friend in her class has been bullying her; she has known the girl for 6 years and they have often gotten on well, but she has a fierce temper and a nasty streak. Two months ago her father died very suddenly from cancer, naturally she is devastated and is understandably full of hurt and a fierce anger. This has made her behaviour at school more extreme and she has been upsetting my daughter and scaring her a little bit. I know her mother well and feel I cannot approach her as she can barely cope with everything at the moment, life is horrendous for her and I can't put more pressure on her, I know she is the one getting the worst of her daughters anger, upset and temper. I'm sure the family is having councelling, has anyone got any coping techniques for my daughter, I have tried to explain why her friend is behaving the way she is, but she doesn't fully comprehend it.
2006-08-26 09:54:56 · 10 answers · asked by googlybear71 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The good thing is, is that your daughter is 9 so she is mature enough to talk about this with you. Just tell her that right now her friend is feeling very upset. Explain to your daughter that people deal death differently than others and that this girl is just expressing her sorrow by being mean. Just tell your daughter not to take it personally when this girl is mean or rude to her. Just tell her to remember that her friend isn't doing it to be mean, she's just doing it because she's upset. When I was in school my friend's father died of a heart attack. He completely changed. He went from a sweet, God loving, and quite humorous kid to an aweful and very angry guy. He cussed up and down at people and we just had to remember that he didn't do it because he was truly mad at us but he did it because he was upset. Good luck and God bless.
2006-08-26 09:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation, and you are being very compassionate in your approach to it. But at this point, the girl is out of control. Is the family having counselling? Just because they should be doesn't mean they are. Talk to the school your daughter attends, and alert them to the situation. Talk to the teacher. The girl may need more intensive counselling than she is getting at present. Losing one's father can be very traumatic, but you say the girl had a vicious temper even before this happened, so this could be something more than simple grief.
Meanwhile, help your daughter to realize what a terrible time her friend is going through, and how doubly difficult it is for her as her mother is also grieving and can't always give her daughter the help and support she needs.
That said, help your daughter to find other interests that will give her a break from her girlfriend. You don't want your daughter to abandon her girlfriend, but the girl does need time to either work through her grief or get some professional help that will get her through this very trying time.
And be very sure to give your daughter lots of hugs right now. Kids do something called transference, and she's likely terrified that she might lose you!
2006-08-26 10:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is scared. You NEED to do something right away, if you don't, you're daughter is going to start hating going to school, depression, or worse..have a nervous breakdown over it. Do you really want that?
What I'd do first is talk to your child's teacher. Tell them the situtation and that you're daughter is being bullied and possibly in harms way. Who know's what this kid will do right now.
The problem may not be stemming just from the kid, but maybe the mother is dumping all of her problems and grief on the child. Or the child is picking up on stuff from her mom. Either way, I'd keep your child outta the way for a while until this eases up. Get her moved if possible, into another seat and out of reach of this bully.
Death or not, the mother needs to know so she can nip this in the bud. You can't be wishywashy on this. You have to do what's best for your daughter.
2006-08-26 10:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is happening in school. I would make the teacher aware of how this girl is treating your daughter so that she may intervene if the girl gets too nasty. This, too, shall pass, but I know how hard it is for you and your daughter in the present. You say the child is getting help. At least that is a good thing. Perhaps you could consult with your child's school counselor for coping ideas.
2006-08-26 10:04:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You DO need to talk to her mother because this girl needs some serious counseling. She needs to learn how to deal with her anger. She may also need to talk to a minister...She may be mad at God for taking her father. Just ignoring it and not letting her mom know that there is something that needs to be done is not going to help her. The sooner she gets help the better.
2006-08-26 10:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can show your daughter a cause and effect; what I mean is show an example of what happened to her friend's dad. For instance, take one of her toys away, then you'll see that she'll get angry/sad. Then tell her that her friend's dad has been "taken away" (or you can use a different terminology) too. It'll show her that her friend has lost something special to her which makes her go wild too.
I hope this works.
2006-08-26 10:06:49 · answer #6 · answered by Follow Your Bliss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definitely i might routinely say that she is at a point the place she is experimenting along with her sexuality, in spite of the shown fact that i think of something extra deeper is here. a number of those signs and warning signs are comparable to what I pay attention of a sexually abused new child so basically be careful. in keeping with risk ask her the place she gets those ideas from and if any guy interior the previous has asked her to try this. while you evaluate that doesn't look completely common. proceed to have an open talking dating along with her so as that she feels delicate to particular in spite of the shown fact that communicate along with her and clarify that those form of behaviors are no longer perfect for be certain-new child relationships.
2016-09-30 00:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by lavinia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Aunt passed away a month ago and my cousin who is my age is really upset. Sometimes he gets mad but even though I'm really upset too I just try to be there for him. Anyways what I'm trying to say is when you lose a loved one sometimes the best help is when people say they care. Just tell your daughter to let her friend deal her emotions on her own but occasionally say she's sorry. Even though she might not think her friend will care, her friend needs to now that someone cares even though her friend knows she's angry.
2006-08-27 14:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by cherry4441993 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13 and belive me i now about bullys
recently a friend of mines parents got a divorce and she started being very nasty ignoring her didn't work so i went up to her to ask her how she felt and it has gotten much better
2006-08-26 10:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur screwed.
2006-08-26 10:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋