my daughter will not speak to me?

Question

my daughter who is 23yrs has not spoken to me by phone e mail letter for 2yrs now why i dont know she lives with her mother we divorced 20yrs ago i allways had contact with her every day in that time but 2yrs ago it all stopped and i dont know why i did not recive christmas/bithday cards yet i all ways send one now its her birthday soon do i send a card or what?? i am at a total loss to know what to do

Answer 1

Yes send her a card & a letter to tell her how much you care about her. Ask her why she does not keep in touch any more and that you would like to know how she is getting on. Ask her if she has any problems that she would like to tell you about. Wait patiently for a reply you may not get one but don’t give up keep trying and who knows one day you may be the best of friends again.
If she wants to talk to you, listen and if she has any problems try to give here help & advise.

Good luck I know how you feel. My Daughter was the same & now we are the best of friends

Answer 2

Don't stop sending her cards. She is an adult now and all that should be in the past. She needs to realize that you are STILL her father and that you love her and do anything for her. When her mother and you divorced, she was only 3 years old so she couldn't possibly understand what went on. But still you haven't went into detail as to WHY she really stopped talking to you. If the divorce ended bitter, maybe the mother has something to do with her not talking to you, which is a shame if she did. All I can say is never stop doing what you are doing and maybe she will come around one day. Put it in God's hand and things will come out in your favor. God Bless and Good Luck.

Answer 3

...if what u are saying is true, i.e if u have no clue as to why she suddenly went cold turkey on u...then, we probably know as much as you do.
I feel we are left to assume she has come to some horrific conclusion about u, or she saw u dancing around naked and drunk somewhere OR...
more realistically, when she turned 21, your ex-wife gave her the REAL reasons why you and she split up (and she cast you out as the villain, who knows, perhaps you were...were you?)
Trouble is, girls are sensitive creatures, she grew up with her mum. Did you ever have her over for weekends, or holidays? perhaps she's going through reality checks at the moment and coming to some nasty conclusions that you aint worth her time, or...'how could you do that to mum / another human being' type of thing. Your wife holds the aces, you let your child grow up with her...unless a court of law decided it...probably for a very good reason.
I am not one to say that no one deserves a second chance in life, i think we all need a break now and again because we all make mistakes. Dont give up on your daughter, she needs to know that when times get hard, u wont give up on her. Send her a heartfelt card and dont make all this time sitting on here talking to strangers, send her an invite to lunch / coffee / tea, or call her up and then you tell her the low down on your break up with her mum, from your side. if she resents you because u wouldnt/couldnt help her out with something she desperately needed / wanted help with, then apologize, try to make amends, show her you care and still want to be a part of her life, tell her you feel hurt by her actions, level with her, hopefully, she'll have grown up some and can level with u too. the truth lies with her really isnt it? and perhaps with you too.

Answer 4

Send her a card but don't expect any contact until she's ready, presuming that will actually happen.
Possibly write a brief note in the card explaining that you have no idea why she's stopped all contact with you.

There's not much else you can do, she's an adult woman and it's completely her decision whether she wants to speak to you or not anymore.

It's not dissimilar to my own relationship to my dad, I didn't speak to him for years before deciding to get back in touch. There were good reasons for that though, which there may be in this case - something that she's just found out possibly?

Answer 5

Could someone such as a jealous boyfriend be "confiscating" her mail. Does she have your last name? If you're sure she's getting your letters, write and ask her what the problem is. Do you only send her a card?? That could be it too. Does she have a job? Maybe she needs some money and never asked because someone advised her not to, or maybe she asked and you refused. I know you shouldn't have to be the bank, but...They say most divorces are caused by money issues, so I'm guessing it could have something to do with it. (Children also can "divorce" parents.)Good luck.

Answer 6

I know you're divorced from your wife and if you and her talk anymore but you should really ask her mother if she knows why the communication has stopped. Have you tried calling your daughter ? (cellphone) She's just not picking up? Is there a way, that on her birthday, you'll be able to see her and straighten things out? You two just need to be able to talk alone and hopefully then, things will work out. Two years is a long time to lose contact; maybe something is really bothering her?

Let her know she can talk to you about anything, and as her father you love her and do not want to lose this relationship. G*luck! =)

Answer 7

Yes of course you do. Even if she isnt talking to you now you dont ever give up on her she will come around in time. I have to ask did something change 2 years ago did you get involved with a new partner or did something upset her. Or did you and your ex go through a bitter divorce could she maybe have said something to her. My husband is in a similar situation. Him and his ex split after 15 years in an on and off relationship. He asked her to marry him and she said no she would never marry him and he moved on about a year later we got together and are now happily married but ever since we got together his ex wont allow his daughters to see or talk to their father but he still trys to call them evrynight buys them presents and gifts and sends down money for their trips or anything they may need. Someday things will come togehter and although since your daughter is older its not exactly the same situation she will come around. Because like it or not all girls need their daddys whether they are 3 or 103.
From a daddys girl who knows

Answer 8

have you tried phoning her?

if she won't answer or speak to you then write her a letter and put it in the card.

or maybe a letter seperate.

ask her why she has stopped talking to you all of a sudden. is it anything you have done, and even isf she doesnt want contact with you could she tell you what is wrong?

send her a card anyway, if you show you "dont care" as such, it might put her off even more. on the other hand, she might just think something is wrong and come and see you?

Answer 9

Just send her a b-day card...don't put cash in it....a check made out to her would be okay (you don't know if mom is opening mail on her)If the check never gets cashed you can bet something fishy is going on.

Not sure what you did to make your little girl so mad, but when my dad refused to help me out with going to trade school, I didn't talk to him for a few years. I told him that I was too busy working paying for my school, and I really didn't have time to hear about how he bought a new car for his new (but very old) wife or how she buys her birdseed from Nieman Marcus.

He has never made a serious effort to be my father. I really don't need him...he has made himself unnessasary to me.

Answer 10

Send the Card - Keep the door open, she's 23 (yeah I know we all think we're master of the universe at that age, but we're not). Don't lay a guilt trip on her, just let her know that you're there for her. It may take a while, but it's worth it in the end.