I've asked questions before about my neighbors and how they completely let their daughter run wild. She's outside by herself and she's only 4. She runs in the street and everything else. Her parents are completely oblivious when it comes to their daughter. I asked if I should report them to authorities because they don't seem to watch her and when they are watching her they might as well not be. She stands outside on the top of their car when it's lightning and runs across the street barefoot where there's broken glass and nails (the builder in my neighborhood is building a new house across the street from them). Anyway, yesterday the most terrible thing happened---and I feel almost responsible for it. I'm sitting at home and I look out the window and 3 cop cars drive by along with an ambulance and a firetruck. My neighbor (the little girl's father) was taken away in handcuffs. His wife was had ran next door to my other neighbor and apparantly (from what I saw) she had been beaten.
2006-08-26 09:52:06 · 10 answers · asked by Ladybug 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
After the cops drove off with my neighbor they stayed for about an hour after that talking with my neighbor inside. I'm pretty sure her husband was beating on her. Now, I feel guilty because if I would have reported them for neglecting their daughter when she was outside, I feel like he would have felt like someone was watching him and he might not have hurt his wife. I feel terrible. Any advice?
2006-08-26 09:53:59 · update #1
You shouldn't feel quilty people like that don't care. Even if you had reported them he probably would have done the same thing. My guess is that this is not the first time he has hit her. Plus if you had reported them you wouldn't have known that he is crazy and hits women, if he ever found out that you called on them he might have wanted to come after you. I would be careful if he ever comes to that house again. Maybe you could try and keep an eye on their little girl when she is outside. She might have let herself outside because her parents were fighting and she didn't want to see or hear any of it. Kids are smarter than people give them credit for. She could have been protecting herself. Don't worry it's not your fault that, that happened. Even if you had called family services usually they call and say they are going to come out and the family makes everything "perfect" and then when they come out it's like there is no problem here. Now if he comes home and she is out by herself again then you can call and tell them that this situation happened and they will make a suprise visit to the house and see whats going on. Just be careful. Just if you do have to call tell them not to use your name at all. But make sure you call and double check that something is being done otherwise they will think it's a prank call. It happened to me once someone called DCFS on me for some BS (my neighbor didn't like me so she was trying to get me in trouble to bad for her i am a good parent and the lady that came out knew that it wasn't anything real.) and the lady that came was like we know when it's nothing that is real cause the people that call don't leave any contact information and they don't call to double check. So if you call keep checking up on the situation.
2006-08-26 10:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Growing up in a similar scenario, this little girl is probably sent outside by mom so she wont witness dads behavior. You should not feel bad for not reporting anything, nor should bad if you do in the future, because chances are dad will get out and be back before the weekend is up. I would figure a time that dad is not there and talk to mom and just ask if you see the little girl outside in danger, if she can come to your house for a little while. This way if mom, which is horrible, chooses to stay with the dad, then you can help the little girl. Often kids know what is going on, more than parents think they do, and if this is the case, then she is scared when she is sent outside, because she knows bad things are happening to mom.
2006-08-26 10:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're asking how not to feel terrible, there's nothing you can do to make yourself feel better. Just know that they're safe from that man now, and that's what matters.
Yes, you might have been able to prevent her being beaten, but you may not have. Sometimes it takes child services a long time to investigate a household. You can't change what you didn't do, so don't mull it over too much: you'll go crazy.
2006-08-26 09:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a sucky situation. I'm sorry that happened but I'm sure now that he's out of the house that things will be better. Don't feel guilty because you never know what's happening behind closed doors. Just be thankful that your neighbors are okay and that he didn't beat on both his wife and daughter. God bless.
2006-08-26 09:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We always find ourselves asking what if? You can never turn back the hands of time. Maybe God wanted it to end that way, just think, you could have easily reported them and nothing happen. It's unfortunate that a beaten had to take place for some action, but that's the way it had to be.
2006-08-26 10:11:37 · answer #5 · answered by Lady tee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! Do not feel responsible you didnt know that the abuse was taking place. at least he didnt beat the little girl and now the athorities no he is a beater. But if he gets out and they stay together I would watch for marks on the little girl. But be careful he dosnt know who called if you do because if he would do that to his wife he would do anything to you and your family. Just my opinion...
2006-08-26 10:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by tohellwitu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of that there are 2 varieties of spouse abusers. variety one is in elementary terms a recommend hateful guy or woman who's abusive in nature to all of us. those adult men might beat on all persons every time. variety 2, the main elementary, are adult men of somewhat low self-well worth who beat on females using fact the feel no longer so good as different adult men in some way. i do no longer understand how they might experience, yet whilst they hit my daughter or my sister they might now no longer experience something.
2016-09-30 00:47:32 · answer #7 · answered by lavinia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether you would have or wouldn't have this man was violent. So he may have done it no matter what. Men who arew violent do not care if they are being watched. Just think he is now gone. But lets hope she doesnt take him back. Next time if she does then do say something.
2006-08-26 09:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by rainymar143 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad. It is NOT your fault. It is HER fault for letting this happen to her. She could have stopped this the 1st time he hit her by leaving! Women have GOT to stand up for themselves and not let men treat them this way!
2006-08-26 09:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing he could kill the wife, and the kid don't feel bad
2006-08-26 09:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by Everyone and No One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋