why is it so hard to trust your boyfriend in a long distance relationship?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year and i love him so much but all the girls at his college try and hook up with him and they all know he's dating me..he hasn't hooked up with them but i'm getting worried

Answer 1

Well long distance relationships are good and have their benefits, but their disadvantages are really bad. I mean you have the fear of the guy turning out to be somebody else. But well in your case for a long distance relationship. I'd say you just need to remember that in commiting to your relationship, you understood that you would have to fully trust him, for the long distance part to work. I mean he's been really faithful all this time, you said it yourself he hasn't hooked up with anybody. So well if he hasn't done it yet, most likely he won't ever do it. I mean just remember that you need to trust him, just like he trusts you. As to why the girls go after him even though they know he's dating, well your a girl. I mean honestly if you really liked a guy alot, would you just stop because he's taken. Well maybe you would, but well most girls go after what they want, they will do anything to get what they want. So well you can't stop all the girls from going after him. All you can do is just keep talking to him, and just remember that trust is a very big part of any type of relationship. Whether it be long distance, regular, friends, family, etc...

You also really need to learn to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend, it's the only way you will feel better about it. I mean you just need to tell him how you feel. That way he can make you understand why you shouldn't worry, whether you need him to say "I love you baby, your my one and only girl for me.", or whatever it may be. He can help you out the most with not worrying about it so much. You have every right to worry, nobody can tell you to stay calm. But well don't worry too much, because if you don't do something about it now, it will get alot bigger, and then you'll start to think crazy irrational thoughts. And then being extremely jumpy when he says certain things. I know you don't want to be like that, and he wouldn't want a girl to do that to him, no guy does. So well just relax, talk it over with your boyfriend, have him comfort you and make you feel alot better about it. And continue on with your relationship. It sounds like you two really care about each other. So well just enjoy the good times right now.

Remember you can visit him from time to time if you really want to. So well he knows that as well. So take a deep breath and stop worrying.

Answer 2

I don't know but it happened to me. Distance relationships can be better than real relationships because it forces you to talk. Think about it - every relationship you've been in what do you do - eat, sleep, have sex, watch TV, go to work, more TV, more sex, eat dinner, walk the dog, go back to sleep. You barely even talk to eachother. But in a long distance relationship ALL you can do is talk. So imagine talking for hours every day for 1-2-3-4 even 5 or 6 years - that bond gets pretty tight and indestructable no matter what the distance between. That's not to say it's not hard. I cried almost every day especially towards the end but thank god I live with him now and still going strong.

It is hard to trust but if he has given you no reason not to trust him then you need to give him benefit of the doubt. Just talk with him and ask him to please let you know the second if anything does happen because it is better to know than to be lied to. Tell him if he ever does want to go out with someone else to at least be honest and tell you instead of doing it behind your back.

Answer 3

I know how you are feeling because i'm in a long distance relationship right now and it's hard sometimes not knowing who my boyfriend is hanging out with or if a girl is trying to get with him the only thing you can do is trust him and keep faith that he won't do anything stupid to ruin your relationship good luck.

Answer 4

I am also in a long distance relationship and feel that is when we are faced with lots of situations that can be tempting. However, you need to trust your partner that they will remain faithful to you or there is no relationship at all, just a game of make believe. Communicate with your boyfriend how you are feeling and I'm sure that he will put your mind at ease. Absence truly does make the heart grow founder. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

It's hard because if he hooks up with anyone there's no way your going to know unless like one of your friends is up there and tells you. I know how you feel and I'm not trying to get you worried but long distance relationships mostly don't work out.

Answer 6

You are the one with the issue. It is you who are not able to trust him, it's got nothing to do with your boyfriend.

Ask yourself what you are so afraid of, and why. If you worry about him hooking up you are very likely to push him to do exactly that. Love him and trust him to do the right thing and he will.

Answer 7

I know.. long distance is hard. We can't really check up on our guys. All we can do is hope for the best and try to have trust! If he is a good guy and really loves ya, put your mind at ease.

Answer 8

the only way you can have a good relationship is trust, if you don't trust him why are you with him? plus you can't sit there worring about him everyday to see if his cheating, so i hope your not doing that keep living your life, but if it's a good relationship, and his worthy of having, then hopefully his being true to you. i know i can honestly say i trust my man 100% no matter how many women ask him.

Answer 9

If there is truly trust and you don't feel that he's giving you a reason to worry then you should trust him. Don't worry hon, I'm sure that all is well ... if not well then it wasn't meant to be!

Answer 10

It's all about trust : it's hard for you to trust him, maybe it's hard for him to trust you too.
And i think you will notice if he's cheating.