want 10 pionts?

Question

make me laugh. the funniest one wins!

points...my bad

Answer 1

If YahoO was situated in Texas, wouldnt it be called YeehaW!.

"guy: Ur dad must be a terrorist
girl: no, why?
guy: Cuz u d'bomb."

Is ur mom a baker cuz u got some sweet buns.

women might get offended by this one,take it as a silly joke:

"1st say: What do you do when ur dishwasher stops working??
2nd person say: i dont know, what?
1st say: U SLAP HER!!! (the woman)"

PLZ GIMME 10 POINTS, IF U FOUND MY STUFF FUNNY.

Answer 2

a couple were on a road trip. just before the trip, they had a little fight..they were passing by this farm where there were pigs and cows..
the wife sarcastically said to the husband,
"relatives of yours?"
the husband then calmly answered back his wife by saying
"yeah, they're my in laws"

i also have this joke on the brunette, the red head and the blonde..

3 women were stranded on an island 20km away from the nearest mainland, a brunette, a red head and a blonde.
the brunette decided to swim across the sea back to the mainland. unfortunately, after 7km, she drowned and died..
next the red head also decided to swim back to the mainland. however, after swimming 13km, the red head also drowned and died..
finally, the blonde also decided to swim across the sea. she had swim 18km then felt that she was to tired to continue swimming. SO, she swam back to the island and never made it back to the mainland..

this is another one..

a pastor died peacefully in his sleep. when he reach heaven, he saw a great welcoming from the heaven. people were cheering and waiting for the arrival of someone. that someone turn out to be a taxi driver. the pastor thought that if this is the kind of welcome to a mere taxi driver, how will the heaven celebrate the arrival of a pastor.
however, when the pastor pass through the gate, no one welcomed him. nobody even bothered to attend to him. the pastor was furious with the treatment. he went to the keeper of heaven and demanded an explanation
the pastor: how can a mere taxi driver get a big welcoming and i, who is a man of god, do not get even a single welcoming..this is not fair!!
the keeper simply replied: that is because more people prayed when they were in his taxi than they were when they hear ur preach..

(if u did not get this joke..>the taxi driver was driving so recklessly that everyone prayed hard for the safety of the journey.)

Answer 3

This lady goes to see an artist and asked that he paint her portrait. She is dressed in a nice gown but asks the artist to paint her with large diamond earrings, huge diamond bangles on her wrists and a beautiful diamond necklace around her neck. The artist says to this woman that he would do so but that she didn't have these items on so why would she want to be painted in that manner. The lady thinks for a minute then explains to the artist that she has been married to the same man for approximately 30 years. That her husband is a very successful businessman. That she knows for a fact that he has been having an affair with his much younger and more beautiful secretary. The woman then explains that her health hasn't been that good lately and feels that she may perish soon. Finally the woman tells the artist that after she dies she knows that her husband will end up marrying his pretty secretary and that she wants her to kill herself looking for all these jewels.

Answer 4

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. His eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There's silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "Okay, now what?"

Answer 5

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said" Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself "I don't freaking think so".

Answer 6

one day this boy is walking down the sidewalk carring duct tape and the neighbor asked "what are gonna do with that duct tape" and the boy replied "to go get me some ducks". The neighbor saw this boy walking home with a bunch of ducks and the neighbor was astound. The next day the boy was walking with a roll of chicken wire and the neighbor asked "where are you going with that chicken wire"? The neighbor saw the boy walking home with a bunch of chickens and was amazed. The next day the neighbor saw the boy walking with pu**y willow and told the boy "hold on I'm coming with you."......................hahahahaha

Answer 7

I have a fat cat. He play with birds and doves,but he never eat them. One day he saw a toad and try to bite him. Few days after,my cat could not say Miau, because he has no voice. My cat was without voice many weeks and he lost many pounds.We call him Michael.The veterinary (animal's doctor),say a little toad's poison affect my cat.But now my cat can speak again.Before he was a handicap cat,now when you say to him: Hi,how are you Michael? he answer you :Miau,miau I am good and you?

Answer 8

once upon a time, there was a husband and a wife....
one day, the wife discovered that a few things needed repaired. first, it was the garbage disposal.
- "honey, will you fix the garbage disposal?"
~ "no! what do i look like? tom the plumber?"
then the door was off its hinges.
- "honey, will you fix the door?"
~ "no! what do i look like? tom the repairman!?"
finally, the lawn need to be cut.
- "honey, will you mow the lawn?"
~ "no! what do i look like? tom the yardboy?!"
well, the husband went golfing and when he returned home, the door was fixed and the grass was cut and the garbage disposal was working.
~ "who fixed all this?"
- "oh! our next door neighbor james. he's really nice."
~ "did you pay him?"
- "well, he said i could make him brownies or have sex with him."
~ "you made him brownies!"
- "no! what do i look like? betty crocker?!"

Answer 9

the old lady took her dog to vet. the vet checked for breathing and pulse. he didn't fiind either. "i am sorry, dog is dead."
"boohoo he can't be dead. i've had him so long boohooooo" the vet goes in back room and brings back a kitten. he put the kitten on the table with the dog. the kitten licks and sniffs the dog from head to tail. the kitten said "dog is dead." the vet hands the bill to old lady. "$300. how can it be $300?" the vet said "$50 for my exam and $250 for cat scan!"

Answer 10

I would rather answer 5 more questions than be ur clown. Any one who jokes here can make u laugh once , I can make u laugh many times by suggesting u to watch a comedy series insread. ha ha,