Grad students, would you date a (former) professor? I am 28 yr old grad student n my professor is 43. I met?

Question

him last yr n class and we're cool. My friends have always thought that something was going on btw us, but I insisted that there wasn't. I've got a lot more respect for myself than to engage in a relationship with him while I'm still a student. It's not worth it, regardless of the gender and/or age difference, for a teacher to pursue a student (or vice versa). It's the quickest way to jeopardize one's career. However, we're both adults, and he has made it clear to me that, if this were a different situation, we would be dating. I know that he's waiting until I graduate in May to make his move. I am applying to Ph.D. programs at other schools (my school doesn't have the doctorate specialty I'm interested in) and I am at the stage in my life where I don't have time for games. We're both ready to settle down. If you were in my situation, would you date him?

Btw, I would appreciate it if respondents were objective and not silly with their answers. There's no reason to insult anyone. Furthermore, to answer the first person who responded, yes I already asked this question, but I had to delete it. I revised it and reposted it.

Btw, I thought I should mention that he is divorced and he doesn't have any children.

Answer 1

If i were in your situation, I would date him. For most of the highly educated people, brain really is the first thing to consider when it comes to relationship. For me, brain comes first, personality is a second, look is a far third, and age is far far far fourth. I think it's very important to have an intellectual conversation with my partner. Since you didn't pursue a relationship with your professor when you are still his student, I would say you have enough intelligence and self-control to decide what should do next. If you think he is genuine and not playing game, you are probably right. so, go for it.

Answer 2

The Decision is yours to make as you know how things are between you two. Like a wise relationship expert said. Divide the age by half and add seven to it. This will make it OK for you two to date. Since he is 43, and you are 28, that is cool once you don't have the following things to worry about.

Like he being married, divorced, have kids or emotional baggage. You have showed that you have a head on your shoulder, by not letting the relationship ruin your educational goals and wait till you graduate. This is a wise thing you did, as if the table turn sour. You have your education to fall on and I'm glad that you handle this in a smart way.

After studying for all those years i can see were you are coming from, in not wanting some one to play games and want some one serious that want to settle down.

You two are adults and the decision is up to you both and no one else to make. Once the reasons are right, move forward with your head tightly on and not only listening to your heart and feelings.

I'm sure that you will want to have kids some time down the road.

Answer 3

I know you won't believe this, but you have to understand: to a 43 year old man, getting a 28 year old girl (of a certain type) is the easiest thing in the world.

It's like taking candy from a baby. And it's generally speaking just as unethical. In the battle of the sexes, he has much better weaponry than you do.

So you need to understand that a 43 year old guy who will start a serious relationship with a 28 year old, ESPECIALLY a former student is, to be frank, broken.

So no. In your situation, I would probably start a course of therapy to try to understand why you're seeking the double jeaopardy of a man who is not only much older than you, but a man that was in a didactic relationship with you. I've never met you, but from your description that just screams "Elektra complex."

Good luck.

Answer 4

There is a reason why the prof doesn't have a woman of his intellectual and professional level. You can't be Ph.D. material if you don't get it. The reason he should run from you is because you are fantasizing the "scene" and will one day wake up.
Stop fantasizing that you are this intellectually superior creature who needs the attention of someone you see as your "peer." Get back down to earth. You are as clueless as the rest of us.

Answer 5

I say go for it! If you aren't in that school anymore, who cares? Your both concenting adults and it seems like he isn't playing games, so see where this takes you. He just might be the one!

Good luck

Answer 6

Dating my female professor now and we are very discreet especially around her husband

Answer 7

didn't you already ask this question?????