Why do family members insist on gossiping?

Question

Why is it that instead of getting information from the source or keeping mouths shut, sometimes family just has to blab? My grandmother, for instance, felt it necessary to inform me of details of my sisters life which I already knew. Not getting into details or anything, just randomly mentioning "I talked to her and by the way this is going on". Whether or not she was just 'informing' me or trying to nonchalantly strike up a conversation and get more details is beside the point. And she told my mom too, which my sister had not decided to do yet. You would think that the older generations would have a little more tact than that, and respect other people's wishes to not discuss things with them and NOT take it all personally. Anybody else dealing with this? (there's the rhetorical question of the year!)

Answer 1

I agree you should feign ignorance or simply tell the inquiring family members to ask the source. While you're at it, tell them that you would appreciate it if they don't pass on personal information about loved ones, especially sensitive info, unless they have been specifically asked to do so by that party. She probably doesn't mean anything by her statements, and just wants to talk about her family.

Answer 2

I'm going through a similar situation. My mom will discuss her true feelings to my sister instead of to me and her true feelings about my sister to me instead of her. You'd think that because you're family you should be able to be open and honest with each other enough to discuss feelings and not be judged or take it personally. With friends, you keep your mouth shout sometimes because you're not sure how they are going to react and you could end up losing a friendship. I wish my mom would tellif she has a problem with me so that we could resolve it instead of knot knowing both sides of the story. There have been times where I have told my sister something and she ends up "slipping up" and tellin my mom before I have had a chance to say anything. I guess they want to be the one to te;l first to see mom's reaction. I'm come to realize if you don't want anyone else in the family to find out, don't say a word to anyone, cause when it comes to gossip, family does it the fastest. My grandmother is better at keeping things hush hush but not my mom.

Answer 3

Wow, I wish I could take you on the thrill ride of my families gossip. He is sleeping with her. This one did that and on and on and on... What I have found is that in my case they are so damn miserable in their own lives that I think it makes them happy to see other people in distress. I have chosen to stay away from them and I do tell them to their faces that if they have nothing better to do than run their mouth about someone else to go find other ears, cause mine don't want to hear it. Because I stand up to them I am always the center of the most heated gossip. My favorite way to shut them up when telling their stories is to ask if they were there or did they see it themselves. Of course they say no and when they do I tell them if they weren't there then they have no right to speak of whatever it is. Or to just plain say, you know what, if Johnny wanted me to know that I am sure he would have told me himself. That works to. Another trick is to compare something that the person who is telling the story did to the situation they are talking about. For example if Granny says that your sis is cheating on her husband, say well thats strange that you are talking about that Granny, I remember how hurt you were when someone said that you were doing ???? and it turned out not to be true, or at least you said it wasn't true. Gets um everytime. Soon, they just stop telling you their stories because you are not the interested audience they crave. Good luck

Answer 4

u know what i feel the same way, i mean i really at times care what my family thinks of me, but at other times i find out in gossip what they really think of me, my grandmother insists on comparing me with other members of the family and she thinks shes a psychologist, and want to pick out all of us kids's flaws, based on certain actions or things that we have done. i would think that older generation would have more tact than that but the truth of the matter is everything we do is there exitement, it gives them reason to live, lol that not really fair i guess, but they figure since your thier family offspring then your their project and they revolve there lives around us for the sake of being bored. They have othing else better to do seriously, but it is super annoying i hate it! but let her gossip, i makes me look better when i prove them wrong or establish my true character, its like, Let the light upon u! Yeah they dont live in the real world anymore, so bring them back to reality, it works and ive done it.

Answer 5

gossiping is just an art of communication. u r right saying that ur grandmother is trying to strike up a conversation. but try to be a bit more understanding.... what else could ur grandma talk to u instead of gossip....she might just inform u about something new in the future.....

Answer 6

Gossip is what old people live for. There are some that never leave their homes and rely strictly on the telephone and can tell you things about people in the next county and state let alone what goes on in their neighborhood.
They're a trip!

Answer 7

Gossiping is the hobby of people who have not much to do and no deadlines or tasks to deliver. That is their way of whiling away time. They tend to be nosy and become experts in discussing other people's lives and never looking in to their own life.

Answer 8

my grand mom does the same. not that she knows of all the things that are going on in my life. but, whenever she gets a chance, she doesn't ever shy away from putting her thoughts in front my mom and DAD. which is quite problematic at times. but you just have to deal with this rather diplomatically.

Answer 9

all families gossip. its like thats a job reqirement for being a family memeber. we all do it in differnt ways. there is nothing to be done. give up. and let things flow. or do as i do. pretend i dont know anything they stop asking after a while

Answer 10

She's probably lonely; when people really have no excitement in their lives they try to live vicariously through other people; Just let her talk, as long as she's doing no harm who cares; and don't tell her any "secrets" that you don't mind "getting out".