OK i don't care if you have heard them before by sum1 or sumwher, so please don't comment on how un-funny u think they r, or if u have heard them before, or if u get mad at wut theyr about. Thank you.
1: Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden. However, no matter what she did, she couldnt get her tomatos to ripen. Admiring her neighbors garden, which had beautiful bright red tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret."Its really simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatos and they turn red with embarrassment."Desprate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily.Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check on her progress. "So," he asked, "any luck with ur tomatos?""No," she replied excitedly, "but u should see the size of my cucumbers!"
2006-08-26 07:22:56 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
2: 3 nuns died and went 2 heaven, where they saw an angel holding a golden bowl filled with holy water. "If you have touched a man on his private part, you must rinse the body part that you touched him with. Then you may enter." The first nun stepped up and said " I only touched him with my finger." And she dipped her finger in. The second nun stepped up and said: "I only touched him with my hand" And dipped her whole hand. The third nun stepped up and said "How many people have rinsed themselves in this water? If you expect me to gargle that water, im going to go down to hell instead!"
2006-08-26 07:28:48 · update #1
2: 3 nuns died and went 2 heaven, where they saw an angel holding a golden bowl filled with holy water. "If you have touched a man on his private part, you must rinse the body part that you touched him with. Then you may enter." The first nun stepped up and said " I only touched him with my finger." And she dipped her finger in. The second nun stepped up and said: "I only touched him with my hand" And dipped her whole hand. The third nun stepped up and said "How many people have rinsed themselves in this water? If you expect me to gargle that water, im going to go down to hell instead!"
2006-08-26 07:28:54 · update #2
3: One night, a seventeen year old guy was going to bring his gf home to they could have sex. The problem: he shared a bedroom w/ his 9 year old brother, and they had bunk beds, seventeen year old (lets call him Charlie) had top bunk, brother (lets call him jimmy), had bottom. So one night, charlie and his gf climbed up the ladder to the bunk bed and made code names: Lettuce=Harder! Tomato=New Position.
Pretty soon, all could could hear was:
"Lettuce!"
"Tomato!"
"Lettuce!"
"Tomato!"
"Lettuce!"
"Tomato!"
Then, Jimmy said: "Ugh, you guys! Stop making sandwiches up there! Your getting mayonaisse all over my face!"
2006-08-26 07:49:00 · update #3
One more!
4: One night, a married couple were having sex in their bed, and their 3 year old boy comes into the room and asked "Mommy, what are you and Daddy doing?" Were just baking cakes, honey go back to bed."
Two weeks later, during breakfast, the little boy asks his mom "Mommy, were you and Daddy baking cakes again last night?" Surprised, the mom replies ":Yes...how did you know?" And the little boy said "I licked the icing off the pillow!"
2006-08-26 07:54:41 · update #4
ehhh.
2006-08-26 07:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jimmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh. Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
2006-08-26 07:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by davidu1138 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aduck farm was by ther side of ahighway.ducks frequently comeoutontheroadand died under speeding vehicles .to prevent this t5he owner put up a board reading ---DO NOT STOP HERE.GIRLS BATH HERE. the vehicles it was observed passthe place very very slow resulting no death of ducks under the wheels.
2006-08-26 07:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by smritish g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i heard another version of the 2nd 1 thou. there was 4 nuns, 1st dipped finger, 2nd dipped hand, 4th ran past and told the guy "please let me rinse my mouth first before the 3rd nun dips her A$s in it".
2006-08-26 07:42:30 · answer #4 · answered by caroline 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL very funny (^_^) but actually i have never heard either of them ,thx for the laughs =^_^=
2006-08-26 07:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by JennyfferBCN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought the pervert had been watching her. Good one, though
2006-08-26 07:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by daniel.foster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad at all. although i get the feeling u need to work out some sexualy issues. like get laid. its not a bad thing, its a good thing.
2006-08-26 10:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
very funny thank you for the light in my day
2006-08-26 07:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by rosary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-08-26 07:27:49 · answer #9 · answered by kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theyre funny can u post more?
2006-08-26 08:41:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how does an elephant to commit suicide??
it sticks its trunk in the a_s_s and he farts
2006-08-26 07:37:35 · answer #11 · answered by acataaaaaaa 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋