I am a single dad and have a 12 year old boy taking toys away doesnt help what else can i do can anyone help?

Question

Taking things away from him when he is not being good is not working because now i think he knows he will get them back eventually can any one help

Answer 1

Depends what behaviors you are trying to correct. Taking toys away only works when they are definitely gone, no possibility of getting them back. Taking things away works only if he knows he won't get them back, or that they won't be replaced. Otherwise, your're just teaching him that misbehavior is not ultimately penalized.
If this is a strong-willed child, there are several options.
Grounding might work, so long as you make the condition sufficiently boring--no toys or tv or amusements, and consider throwing in a task or two he doesn't enjoy doing.
My mom used to explain to me very patiently why what I did was wrong, but that method didn't at all work on my offspring, so you can see that you really just need to experiment till you find what does work with your particular kid.
Most importantly, for any discipline--be consistent! If it's wrong today, it will be wrong tomorrow and forever. And be prompt, even when it is inconvenient. Every time you let him get away with something, even if only for a couple of minutes, you are teaching him that it can be gotten away with. And never back away on a penalty, because that tells him either you're wishy-washy or that he can bargain. Neither is a good thing to show your children.
Another route you might try is to engage him in the responsibilities of your home--kids this age are just about ripe for the gratification of being contributing and important members of the household. Worst thing at this age--do not treat him like a child. He is a young man, and the more you recognize this, and hold him accountable for his choices, the better he is likely to grow up.

Answer 2

Do what my husband did. He totally destroyed the toy. My husband was extreme. But none of our 6 children are in jail or in the Penn. Even our older son who was told to mow the lawn on the weekend and went riding on his small motorcycle instead. Well the ax did a number on the motorcycle. He had to buy his own after that. But he never forgot to mow the lawn. My favorite for of correcting my children is that if you can not behave then you have to stay by my side for a week or days so that I can be sure you do the right thing. My kids hated that. Or if we were at some ones home. It was if you are not behaving you can come and sit with us the rest of the visit. My 12 year old who went out and bought high heels after her dad told her not to. He cut the heels off every single one of her high heels. All are professionals, 2 RN, 1 runs a company, 1 teacher, 1 Electrical Engineer, 1 teacher.

Answer 3

It doesn't help to take toys away from a twelve year old because he probably doesn't care about toys all that much anymore anyway. It is time to really establish boundaries and open communication so he wants to listen to you and behave. He needs guidance and you need patience. All you can really do if you must discipline is to take away his funds, freedom or electronics. Discipline without a relationship will not work.

Answer 4

Extra chores, a temporary change in his allowance or taking away a privilege, etc.

By the same token though, good behavior should be rewarded in some manner so he learns that's the way to be. It's behavioral retraining - bad is punished, good is rewarded.

Answer 5

It is a difficult situation. I tried the same approach with my son. What works for him is to loose TV and X-box for a couple of days. My brother in law took his kid to a city park and made him pick up trash for an hour or so he said that worked. Have him do chores for an elderly neighbor or church.

Answer 6

i do no longer recognize of any 12-12 months-olds raised by using vegans who're no longer chuffed being vegan themselves, so i'm going to assume that this might properly be a hypothetical question, if no longer an outright troll, based on your uniformed, reported bias. So are the father and mom underweight? might desire to a baby whose father and mom are obese be waiting to take their father and mom to courtroom? we would have quite a backlog of situations. by using the way, i'm a former mum or dad advert Litem/courtroom-Appointed specific recommend. i've got investigated situations of baby abuse and ignore, and not one among them in touch vegan father and mom. Please do a splash study. toddlers do no longer pick meat protein to enhance.

Answer 7

Spank his bare butt. Not only will you send him the message that you will not tolerate certain behavior, but it will make him feel like a small child and that is the last thing a 12 year old wants.

Answer 8

i would make him earn them back, like cutting the lawn or cleaning his room or taking out the garbage for a week without being told. or what ever he was doing that was bad, make him write an essay about what he did wrong and how he can correct his own behavior in the future and what he learned from his bad behavior. i guarantee he wont like writing essays! *evil grin*

Answer 9

I would sell the toys on ebay etc, give them away and have him with you when you take them to salvation army etc, and if you sell them on ebay have him watch you package it up an d mail it I did it to my son and behavior has improved greatly

Answer 10

No friends over,no phone,no internet,no tv,no video games,no stereo.Make him earn them back one by one don't just give them back, then he will have a reason to want to be good or he will be bored out of his mind.