WHAT should I DO ABOUT MY Roomate?

Question

I am ready to start my first year of college in about a week. I contacted my roomate and told her that i bought a t.v and refrigerator and for some reason she has the impression that i bought it for US. I definetly bought it for ME. I mean what if i want to watch a show on t.v and she wants to watch another show, that will create conflict.And the refrigerator i bought is very small. I dont want to share it. Am i being mean? When y ou are in a dorm do you have to share everything???? I mean I bought the t.v she didnt put any money on it. Wouldnt that be free-loading if she used it anyway? She said that shes not going to buy a t.v she is just gonna download shows of the internet. YEA RIGHT!! i dont want to come inside my dorm room and see her and her friends watching MY T.V i would be super pissed!!In the nicest way possible, how can i tell her that i bought the stuff just for me?

Answer 1

I would share. Just make it clear that you have first choice of what to watch on TV, and her stuff needs to be neat and tidy in the fridge. You don't want to come off as selfish right when you move in. If there's anything else you don't want to shere, don't mention it, and keep it well within the boundaries of your half of the room

Answer 2

When moving into a dorm room, most people tell others what they have bought and tell them what they are bringing only when they are planning on sharing these items. If someone had told me that they had bought these items, I would assume that it was so we could share!!!

You should let your roommate know that your fridge is small, and that you have been thinking about it and it won't fit food for two.

Regarding the TV: Dorm rooms are not that big! How noisy will it be with the two of you watching different TVs!

** Just as a note, not all dorms allow TVs and refrigerators!

Answer 3

Because of the lack of outlets and space in dormrooms, it is customary for roommates to share everything. I mean how would you even fit two refrigerators, two Tv's, etc? My first year roommate and I split the cost of the carpet. I brought the TV, she brought the stereo. I brought the fridge, she brought the microwave. We each brought our own comfy chair, but if either had friends over, they were up for grabs by anyone.

How would you deal with it if you both had a tv, and wanted to watch different shows at the same time? How would that have been better? Wouldn't it be just as bad to have two shows playing at once as to have the tv playing something you didn't want to watch?

Basically, no offense, but your roommate is not the one being rude here. She is actually making an assumption that I would have made. You really ought to get a single room at the earliest opportunity if this is how you want things to go.

Answer 4

OK, well, first off, yes, you're being selfish and small-minded. Dorm's are small, and yes you're going to have to share. If you both have TVs going, that's not going to be any fun anyway. Imagine if one of you wants to watch the Saving Private Ryan while one of you is watching Love Actually. As for the fridge, why have two fridges when you could have one. I bought a fridge big enough for two people to store drinks, snacks, and a couple of frozen dinners (at least) each for $25. As for free-loading, free-loading is when you consistently live off of someone else's means. In this case, she'd simply be sharing your fridge and TV for the duration of your stay there - that's completely different. As far as downloading shows off the Internet, I'm watching Love Actually right now, which I just finished downloading (FANTASTIC movie, by the way). Last night I watched Stargate SG-1 (the TV show), and TMNT II. I don't even have a TV hooked up, but I watch TV and movies all the time.

You strike me as the sort of girl who is actually decent on the inside, probably hot on the outside, but everyone assumes is an *** because of this kind of thinking. It's common for people to get pissed over stupid crap, but if you could only see the life of the average person, things like this mean absolutely zilch. If you don't believe me, then ask 10 random people, "What's going on in your life right now? What challenges are you facing?" I guarantee that after that you'll feel like an idiot for getting so worked up over nothing at all.

P.S. What to do? Share the fridge - upgrade, if you have to. And get a set of headphones for the TV. Tell her she's welcome to watch with you, if you want, but you know she's going to be watching HER shows on her computer, and that way you won't interfere with that. That's polite, AND, she'll take the hint that the TV's more for you. If you do happen to be out and she watches it, big deal - it's not like you bought 100 hours of TV or something...

Answer 5

I think you're being a tad unreasonable. After all, you're sharing a room, so its not just your room, its hers too. As for sharing the TV and fridge, why not? Just say since you bought the stuff, you decide what to watch when you're watching it, otherwise its fair game. You're sharing closet space too, aren't you? I think you're going to have to find an area for agreement otherwise you'll be doing nothing but fight. If you really can't stand sharing a room, then maybe you should consider not having a roommate? Its all about compromise. Its the same when you get married. If you buy the TV with your own money, are you going to let your husband watch it???

Answer 6

I can understand why she might think that you bought those things for both of you, since you mentioned it when you contacted her.

NOW is the time to set boundaries. No sense in trying to be "nice" and then becoming filled with resentment and hard feelings that could erupt into a very uncomfortable situation.

Be firm (but polite). Tell her up front the television and the refridgerator are for your use only and you're sorry if you gave the impression she could use them. She'll probably be put off at first, but she'll get over it.

Keep in mind she is your roommate and you should try to compromise and get along. It will make life a lot more fun. Perhaps, as you get to know her better, you might be willing to relax your rules some. If you do, just be clear it applies to HER ONLY, not any friends she brings over.

Answer 7

Your roommate may have more dorming or roommate-comprising experience than you. If so, no matter what you say you will come off as selfish. The reality is, is that it is customary for roommates to share things like you have mentioned. Not equally mind you, it is usually understood that your needs on your possessions come first, but giving in to them now and then when you dont need to makes you look nice. The absolute key you MUST remember, is that in order to live with this person with minimal stress, you MUST comprimise, and be NICE to them. If they are a complete asshole and rude and all that, then you had done what you could and need to just deal with it for the rest of the semester. But if they have the potential to be nice, don't you be the rude mean person! Do you know what true comprimise is?Something like the feeling of telling someone they are right in an argument when you know YOU are right and they are wrong, and letting it go at that. It is also like, letting someone use your stuff, when you really dont want them to. If you can find it in yourself to deal with it - that creates the MINIMAL stress for dorm life. Fighting and contending with them over either of your possessions, creates GREATER stress. Take my word for it, I dormed for 3 years with roommates, you NEED to learn to make adjustments that you don't want to, in order to keep that kind of HARMFUL stress minimalized. My 4th year I got a single and it was the sweetest thing in the WORLD! Going to sleep in quiet, turning the light off when I wanted to, waking up in quiet, and having the room temperature nice and frigid just the way I like it.

Comprimise now, and you will feel better in the short term and the long term. Take my word for it. Good luck.

Answer 8

Yes, you bought the television and refrigerator for yourself. But unless you have your own living space (meaning own bedroom), don't complain. I've heard that some dorm rooms are just one big room with beds against the wall. Is that your kind of dorm room or do you have one with tiny bedrooms and a living space (living room, dining room and tiny kitchen). It all depends on the layout of your dorm room.

Answer 9

What a spoiled brat you are! Learn to share, not be so greedy. Why would you care if they were watching when you are not there? Open your mind to the shows that she watches. You might learn something and broaden that narrow little mind of yours.

If I were her, I would be asking for a new roommate even before you moved in. You sound as though you will be singularly unpleasant about most phases of living together. I agree with the above, get a private room.

Answer 10

Look if you are going to be gone for hours and she is there be kind and let her use your tv. I don't like freeloaders either but set some rules that she can follow and don't be stingy. If you want to watch a show tell her @ss to go though. If you want the refrigerator for yourself and don't want her eating your food tell her. IF you want to share it tell her to pay you each time she wants to use it or eat your snacks. That way she won't always be using it she will get her own.