What do you do with a mother like this?

Question

I know a woman with 4 daughter, they are grown and 3 of them want nothing to do with her. She treated the baby (Melanie) to designer clothes and private schooling. The other ones got garage sale stuff and public schooling. She never told them she loved them. She never told any of the child except the youngest she loved them. She was extremely physically abusive and mentally abusive to the middle girls. She used the oldest to take care of the other children. She is hateful, manupulative and mean to everyone. She told them she hated them and wished they would die. Even the youngest one, don't like to be around her. Out of the 2 middle girls, one is a alcholic and drug user, the other one has mental breakdowns. No knows the abuse they went through like the eldest one. She lived her life taking and trying to protect them from her. Even as adults they still crave a mother. I hate people saying they should see her, that is their Mother. I think they are better staying away.

Answer 1

That's aweful. While I feel bad for the daughters, I do not pity the mother when they want nothing to do with her. I hope she spends her "golden years" alone and miserable. You reap what you sow. I hope the daughters are able to overcome this abuse, and do not repeat the cycle. They should have nothing to do with this woman who only gave birth to them -she was and is NOT a mother to them. Good luck to them to be strong.

Answer 2

In order for them to deal with this they need to keep away from the abusiveness which is their mother.
They need to get to a place emotional where they are not so effected by her. They need to mother themselves and find self love and know that what ever their mother has said or done it really isn't about them at all. If you think about it she must be empty and self loathing and has never known love in her live. She probably doesn't know what it is or how to give it and definitely is fearful of not receiving that's why she pushes them away.
It is this day and age that we do self exploring and analyzing. What they have not gotten from her they need to give to them selves and they need to stop letting her have power in their world.By letting drugs etc come in and take over is letting her win. I hope that they can raise above this and as sisters come together. They should tell the youngest not to speak of her, until they are emotional sound. When they start healing and get a handle on their emotions they should understand that even though they went through a emotional journey that she will still be the same and they should limit interaction's. She may never change, they might not be able to have satisfying relationship or any face to face time with her, letters might do the trick. I wish them the best of luck and love. Even though she is the mom, we should only surround ourselves with people who lift us up and love us.

Answer 3

I'm still puzzled as to how you can still possibly call this woman a mother...she's been shirking her responsibilities as one from the very beginning. I would suggest somebody close to the youngest child start exerting some positive influence on that child, or else she will be in line for psychological damage.

Answer 4

As Dear Abby says: fate chooses our relatives, not us.

This woman is NO mother! They should have nothing to do with and feel no guilt about wanting nothing to do with her.

I do NOT agree with people saying that it is your mother and family and that you should be there for her. As I said, this woman is no mother and she is abusive. Tell these girls that they should get as far away from this woman as possible and never look back. They should stop calling her their mother and start calling her their abusive childhood guardian.

Answer 5

calling this woman "mother" is an insult to real mothers everywhere. when she's alone in a nursing home being abused by ppl who don't care about her she'll wish she'd been nicer to her daughters. i think all 4 of them need intensive therapy to deal with the aftermath of this abuse. perhaps u should suggest it to them?