I have taken my son swimming, skating, library, music gymboree, anything else I can imagine. He is only 1 years old. My husband always decides to go to work and not interact with us on the weekends. I try to tell him how I feel but he gets angry and I feel like it is just his needs in his life and not anyone elses. Is there anything I can do?
2006-08-26 06:31:49 · 15 answers · asked by Brandi B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
leave him. he does not care
2006-08-26 06:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a great Mom, Brandi. From what little information you can give here, I am going to just make a few assumptions and suggest what I think is going to help. If my assumptions are wrong, then forgive me.
Is it possible that he is feeling left out of your life and that he is not important to you anymore? Yes, you invite him to join you and the baby in activities, but do you make time for just you and your husband?
Sometimes we get so excited about this new, precious baby that we expect the same level of excitement others, especially the baby's Daddy!
You have to understand that men bond differently with their children than women do. Is it possible that he is withholding his attention because he's just plain jealous? Are you still his "wife" or are you now his co-parent only? Are you having intimate, sexual time with him? Are you talking only about the baby when you are together? Do you ever talk about anything else with him anymore?
I am not saying he isn't being a baby himself, but in my experience, the first, best thing to do is to get a man alone and ask him, in a non-judgmental way, how he is feeling about the baby and how he is feeling about your relationship with him. He may feel left out of your life now because you are attempting to make him into the kind of father you want him to be instead of letting him find out how he is going to be with his child. Life isn't like the movies. Men have feelings too!
Maybe he doesn't see himself as the kind of Dad you see him being. Maybe he is afraid of the baby and how much your focus has been on the baby instead of him. Maybe he wants to wait until the child is older before he feels comfortable in his new role as Daddy.
Remember, when the kids are gone, there will just be the two of you left. If you and your husband don't have anything to talk about except the kids, then what? Always try to nurture your husband wife relationship as a different but important part of your life.
Try to give him a little bit of your time each day and don't just talk about the baby. Develop an adult realtionship that is just for the two of you, listen to what he has to say about how he is feeling these days and then, when he is able, bring him back into the child/parent/family role.
Or, throw the bum out! Whatever works best for you! Good luck Mom and remember, you are probably the only real adult in the house!
2006-08-26 14:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by Ava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been together? maybe the two of you are'nt really fit for each other or there might be a third party he's not telling you about and that is where your problem stands.how old are you and your husband? have you been together long? if there was'nt alot of time between the two of you when you met then there might be someone you may not have met and this person has now got his attention without you knowing it.if you feel there might be a third party then you might want to start checking up on him and seeiing if he is at work or somewhere else. if he has a cell phone you might want to check his records and see if there are any calls on there that don't look right.maybe he's calling this person and meeting them somewhere while he's supposed to be at work.maybe have someone you know follow him and see where he goes. this might lead to your answer.
2006-08-26 13:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men don't have their priorities in the same order as us women. He might see that being a good dad means making money. Moms see being a good parent as nurturing... that's our instinct. Of course it might be something else. Has he bonded with his son the way you have? Is he having an affair? I'm not saying he is, but when my ex was he distanced himself as much as possible and he became angry and resentful when I questioned why he would rather work instead of being home. Watch his behavior and try again to speak with him. He might just feel overwhelmed now that he has a child. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-08-26 13:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by ok 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least the kid has a Dad in his life some don't. Be thank full, beside you will get most of the credit when the kid grows up and scores points on TV. The camera will look at him and he will say "Hi Mom!" And another when Dad wants more kids whom does he go to for that help? You my dear, just hang in there.
2006-08-26 13:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by Texan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probally just afraid that if he does or says something stupid he will look like an idiot.
he also probally doesn;t know how to deal with a one year old.leave the malone alot. like run to the store and run errands and leave him with the baby, he will have no choice other the nget to know him, the nhe will have no choice but to love him and want to be with him,
i hate no hangin with my 2 yr old daughter cause i have to work.but when she was first born, i had no idea what to do. so all i did was work, including massive overtime, i never wanted to go home.
2006-08-26 13:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by pooteo1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need 2 tell him that u need 2 talk ....
explain again how u feel and that its upsetting u
and u need time all 2gether as a family arange a day out all 2gether when hes not working or go out 2 a family place 4 dinner .....
and have sum fun .....
2006-08-26 13:39:09 · answer #7 · answered by Maria N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to jump to concusions but
working on the weekends by his choice and mad when you dont want him too. i woiuld be suspiscious of that. you might want to check and make sure he is working first.
on the other hand ask yourself if there is a financial need for him too go to work on the weekends.
there might be financial trouble that he does not want you to know about.
do some homework , first it will help with your decision.
2006-08-26 13:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by matt p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will just have to re-inforce that you and the child are important as well, it took 2 to make your son and it takes to 2 bring him up while he is around. he should not be like that
2006-08-26 13:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by sweetlikehoney_73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to being with a self centered male. Many of them are that way. Just enjoy your son. Your husband will someday regret the decisions he has made.
2006-08-26 13:34:57 · answer #10 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to work... on the weekends? Is that his regular schedule or does he prefer to go to "work" then? He may not be going to work... He may have another girl or another family.
2006-08-26 13:34:56 · answer #11 · answered by Private Account 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋