Non-straights in the church. Do straight, married people actually know they are there?

Question

From numerous conversations with friends, I have come to the conclusion that many married church members think that everyone in their congregations are heterosexual. Do they actually think that or is their silence just politeness. What would the congregants do if they definitely found out one of the flock was gay or bi?

Answer 1

When I was growing up there was a woman in our church who is most definitely gay. Everyone knew it, and everyone accepted it. I am 49 years old, which means that this happened a very long time ago. This woman taught me in Sunday school for several years. She is still alive, and her life mate passed on several years ago. As I understand it, she is still very active in the church I grew up in, and she has a current girlfriend. By the way, I grew up in a Methodist church....very mainstream. And I no longer consider myself a Christian because I believe that there is more than one path to enlightenment....there is not one truth....there are many paths to the Source.

Answer 2

It would depend on the kind of church I suppose. It all depends on if they skip the part of the bible that deals with Sodom and Gomorah being destroyed. The Bible is very up front about the whole thing of being gay and what is sexual immorality. As for what they would do? I would say they cannot aloow the person to become a member of the church because that person does not believe the same as the church doctorine. If the person joined then they would be lying to everyone. If it is a Christian church then they should just just love that person all the more and try and show the gay person their path,meaning the churches path. Why would the gay person be going to this kind of church anyway. It would be like a Christian going to a Buddist temple and then having the nerve to complain that they do not believe the same.

Answer 3

Growing up I remember being in church and hearing all the horrors of homosexuality...However, that is just plain stupid. One of the reasons I quit going to church. If a congregation found out one of their own was gay or bi, I doubt they would turn their back on the individual. It would send the wrong message about "unconditional love" "judgement" and all that jazz. But bottom line, it's really none of their business & if they do have a bad reaction to the situation, it's probably the wrong church to be going to.

Answer 4

I would hope they'd just accept them. After all, even heterosexuals are sinners, just different kinds of sins. I'm hetero but have always wondered why homosexuals were considered SO sinful. Aren't we all sinners in the eyes of God? Is there a lesser of two evils? I'm also agnostic, mainly because of Christians.

Answer 5

This leads to a question, is homosexuality a disease or a sin?

I assume even if the answer is a sin, I do hope that those church goers would still accept these ppl, love & support them as the bible says & also help them recover.. After all, the bible asks us not to judge others, but to love & cherish them

Answer 6

as a person who feels he is truly a child of God, I have learned that people who judge others for who they are or how they live their lives are in fact worse than those they are condemning. the real God does not want for this to happen. I am a straight male but I have some friends who are gay. If the world doesn't own up to it's own hatred, we are all going to suffer. and if we want to make it to heaven, we must be as He would be. The only one who can get you to heaven is God. Think about that!

Answer 7

None of their damn business unless the individual decides to come out.

Those who would object seem to forget that church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints!

Answer 8

i don't think so. it turns out, there was a few homos in my church after i left. sure, you have your doubts about some people, but because they attend church, you never think twice.

Answer 9

That would depend entirely on the specific congregation you are talking about -- people here on Yahoo Answers tend to say "the church" and "Christians" just as if they are one homogenous cookie-cutter group. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unlike many other religions, Christians are called to read and understand God's word directly, rather than have some spiritual leader tell them what God's word says (Deuteronomy 6:6, Romans 10:8). As a result there is a lot of variation between one group's understanding of what God's will is versus what another group's understanding would be, and this fractures the believers into different denominations and congregations which can hold widely disparate viewpoints on the will of God. I could do a 10-page post on why that is and how it happens when it shouldn't, but for now I will get back to your question -- please bear with me, a lot of explanation is needed first:

Aside from the extreme groups to either end of the spectrum, most Christians are aware of the fact that there are some "non-straight" members in the church, but the sexual orientation of a member is in and of itself not the issue. Homosexuals are sinners. So are heterosexuals. So are bisexuals. So are asexuals if there is such a thing. The Bible makes it perfectly clear that "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) and that the only way to be restored to fellowship with God is through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus.

God designed us to be heterosexual and to be monogamous, but even more importantly to love Him and to care for one another (Matthew 22:35-39). We all fail (sin) in at least one of these areas. Christians are called to REPENT of their own sins, and to FORGIVE others for being less than perfect -- "forgive us our sins, even as we forgive those who have sinned against us" (Luke 11:2-4). Repentance begins with recognising that something is a sin, and agreeing with God that it is unnacceptable. Full repentance involves completely stopping of the sinful activity, but as we are all human this is often much easier said than done -- thus we are called to be supportive and forgiving of our fellow Christian so long as they struggle against their sinful nature, a nature which we all have. So though a brother may not have fully turned from his sins, so long as he is not giving them free reign but is instead struggling against them, he is working within the will of God.

Despite what some misguided types proglaim on their signs as they march about, God does NOT hate homosexuals. He loves all the people that He created (John 3:16) even though they are imperfect, and He desires for them to love Him in return. But He does hate SIN. And when a person puts their love of their own sin ahead of their love for God, they are choosing to ally themselves with His enemy -- they are turning against God. If you read the bible carefully, you will find that the negative references to homosexuality don't say that God disapproved of certain people BECAUSE they were homosexual, but rather that they had turned their hearts far from God and one of the SYMPTOMS fo this was their homosexuality (see Romans 1:25-27 for example) that sprung up from their wicked hearts. However, note also Job 8:8, John 9:2, and Matthew 7:1 / Luke 6:37 in context -- it is GOD'S right to judge WHY a person has the symptoms of sin, not ours. For all we know, a person may be suffering from what appears to be the effects of sin so that when they are healed, God's hand may be revealed to someone.

Any person who puts their sexuality or sexual identity ahead of their love for God has placed themselves (at least temporarily) outside the fellowship of God. I am heterosexual -- this is neither good nor bad in the sight of God in and of itself. If I go running about proclaiming how hetero I am and proving it by trying to bed every woman I see, I am very thoroughly outside the will of God. If a homosexual makes a bigger deal out of his sexuality than about the will of God, so is he. We would both be put out of the congregation if we refused to recognise our sin, repent of it, and submit to the will of God. God doesn't promise that as a result the sin or inclination towards it will actually go away, just that he will overlook it. We are called to place our own desires under the authority of God. We are also called to confront one another privately about our sins in a supportive manner and help one another deal with them (Proverbs 27:17) so that we may be restored to fellowship with God -- we are NOT called to drag one anothers' sins out in the open unless the sinner actively refuses to acknowledge their sin, and we are NEVER called to gossip about one another.

So then, really neither I nor anyone else can answer the question you actually asked -- what WOULD they do if they found out. That depends totally on the specific individuals and the congregation and denomination involved and how close they are to God's word versus pursuing their own ideas. But the above is what they SHOULD do, if they are truly acting as sons and daughters of God: be forgiving and supportive and help make sur e their brother or sister in Christ REMAINS in Christ and GROWS in Christ.

BTW, I was restored to Christian fellowship after years of agnosticism by a bisexual woman friend who invited my wife and I to attend church with her one sunday. I am sure God is very pleased with her for that! The church we all attend is anything but a liberal congregation, being solidly in the center of an upper-middle-class republican type of community, of which the three of us are all fairly typical members.

Answer 10

Some know they are there, others you couldn't satisfy anyway and that's their problem.