Why are some people still against working moms?

Question

I hear people all the time critisizing moms for working and putting their children in daycare. Do they think that we enjoy having to have someone else caring for our children for 10 hours a day? The fact is that many fathers don't make enough money to completely care for their family financially; Most moms have to pitch in financially. My husband makes about $30,000.00 a year and that is not enough to support himself, me, and 3 kids. I need to work to support my kids. And that comment that many people make "Well you shouldn't have kids if you just plan to shove them into a daycare." That is just ignorant. The cost of living nowdays is very different than it was 50 yrs ago. It usually takes 2 incomes. Why is it always the mom who is the bad one? The dads work too.

Having a mom who works outside the home, doesn't mean that a child will grow up to be a troublemaker or get put in jail. It has to do with how the parents raise them. When a child starts school, they will be away from their parents for 8 hours a day, so why is that ok, but it is not ok if they are in a daycare or with a babysitter?

Answer 1

Every mother is a working mother.

Answer 2

Its true now days we need two incomes to support and maintain the house. As a working mom I would rather stay at home with my daughter and take care of her but our circumstance's do not permit it. If you married someone that has a good job (doctor, lawyer, etc) then their would be no need for the other member of the family to work. Now-days we struggle to make a living in this world. If we wait till we are financially stable to have our family's we might grow to old and unable to have children. People that consider themselves financially stable or are not in need of of the spouse to work might consider the mom to be the bad person for leaving her child in daycare and going to work but that just might be the ignorant people that don't realize what we go thru and how we struggle just to survive and make an adequate living.

Answer 3

You do what you have to. Most of us do. I'm a military wife. In my community, at least half of us with children stay at home. But its an option that is easier because insurance is good, his job is secure, and housing is paid for. My sister stays home and I don't know how they make his paycheck stretch. Frankly, its the business of the parents, noone else. I'm a big supporter of SAHM just because my single parent mother did have to work killer hours. I was able to be home with my kids, so I am. If you cannot do that, then you just can't. I'm against moms working to support a cushy lifestyle instead of considering their children's best interests. If you have to work to pay the bills, its understandable. I just think its sad when Mothers that can stay home choose not to. Kids are important. If you only have nights and weekends, then make it count. I had countless daycares and babysitters and I turned out fine. I'm sure your kids will too.

Answer 4

The problem with daycare is that their is NO WAY to find someone who will love your children as much as you do, just look at your past comments about your step children, they are your husbands kids and you are constantly complaining about hating them.
If you can't afford to live off of one salary, cut back in the extras and if that doesn't work, take drastic measures. Move in with a family member for a time, get ride of all extra debts or move to an area of the country which is lower in living expenses. If you really WANT to stay home with your kids, you will find a way. I did. We have lived in the heart of the Silicon Valley where the median home price is in the $700,000. Most professionals in this valley get over $100,000 a year, we make considerably less but have still succeeded in our number one goal (our children) and yes I stay home with them and always have. We owned a brand new home with pool with 2 incomes, before kids. After our first, I quit my job, which forced us to sell the home. We lived with family for 1 yr and then jumped around to apartments for the next 2 yrs before finally buying our current home where my husband has a longer commute but can keep me home with the kids. So, you see, I never said it would be easy, but it can be done. It all depends on where your priorities are.

Answer 5

I have also had just the opposite reaction to working outside the home. Many people scoff because of the decision my husband and I made. I've been made to feel that I should be helping my husband to bring in the dough, so to speak. We felt the need to have at least one parent at home with our son. Many people also say that it is all in how you raise them, as to how they turn out. That, in my opinion, is not true. Although, the Bible says to train up a child and he will return to that teaching. We did the very best we could to teach our children right from wrong and how to be a productive citizen. Our son still ended up in jail. It was HIS choices that changed his life not what my husband or I did or did not do. I blamed myself for a long time for his choices. I thought I had messed up somehow. But we all have choices to make, we alone have to choose and those choices are what decides which way our lives will go. Staying at home did not help him.
On the other hand, there have been many wives who have worked and raised their kids with great instruction and love. They have made it work. I believe it is up to the individual families to decide what is best for them. They need to stand firm by their choices and not worry about what others think. We let God guide us and I pray they will too. Good luck and enjoy your family and your work.

Answer 6

You're kidding right? I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years and I see the exact opposite. I am the ONLY stay at home Mom in the county I think, and people give me a hard time and talk about me behind my back. I've been thinking about going back to work, just to get people to shut up...I always thought SAHM where discriminated against. People have made me feel like an inferior person because I don't bring home the bacon. I guess there is never a "right" answer...LOL

Answer 7

The most important part of a child's emotional, physical and spiritual development in the first 3 years of life is a child's bond with his/her mother. How can this be done when the child is in the arms of strangers for 8+ hours per day at a daycare center? Children are born to women for a reason, we are the nurturers from the time they are conceived, born, fed from our breast and taking their first steps. We are made for taking care of our children and husbands at home. We are not made to compete with our husbands in the corporate world and when women try to "do it all" or "have it all" the results are broken marriages and neglected kids. It is one thing to choose not to have kids to build a career but totally different to choose to have kids and let someone else raise them while you climb the corporate ladder.

While I understand that some women cannot help their circumstance because of abandonment, death, accidents and the like that place them in the "have to work" category, I am saddened by the number of infants and toddlers who are neglected by their parents for selfish career advancement. I believe that you do what you can to keep mom at home while the children are under the age of 6-7. Families make it on one income all the time. You just sacrifice, like living in smaller house, buy used clothes and cars, grow a garden, cut out cable/satelite tv, and much more. Live simply and you can get by with a lot less for the time the children need you most.

Answer 8

I think it goes back to some traditional stereotypes. I'm a guy and probably traditional (some ladies would argue chauvinistic) in my views about the importance of a Mom staying at home particularly while the kids are young. Having said that, the economic realities you mention are there; there is no denying this.

Don't worry about other people's judgment. Why do you care what they think anyway? As for practical alternatives, my wife has a job where she works from her home office, she determines her schedule, and she is able to plan her work around the family's needs. This works very well for us. You might research this relative to whatever your particular skills happen to be.

Answer 9

I don't care what anyone says I am a working mom and I have a 12 yr old and I spend all the time I can with him, I PROVIDE EVERYTHING FOR US.. and I'm am a single mom.. at least I am not at home sitting on my *** collecting welfare and having other people pay for my kid.. people that criticize don't have a clue and should keep their mouths closed unless they know what they are talking about.. that really pisses me off. ALSO my son has not ever suffers from it.. and to the one who said we don't know where are propities are what do u think about this.. your husband OK well he is the bread winner and he turns around and leaves your *** or god for bid he passes away what are u going to? U are just a house wife .. use your head. then u will be on welfare having other people pay for your kids cause you don't have any job experience . Then we will see what u have to say.

Answer 10

I agree with you 100%. Don't worry about what other people say, you are doing what is best for your family. I work outside the home as well and for a long time I felt guilty because of other people's comments, but I don't anymore. My kids are well adjusted and loving human beings, so I had to have done something right.

Answer 11

I am not against working moms I think some people try to live beyond their means and thats why two people have to work but if thats not your case then i don't think your a bad mom for working if thats what you really have to do then thats fine.My mom is 46 years old with an 18 month old and she works 40 hours a week at a factory job and its very hard on her emotionally and physically.I know it must be hard on some working moms but i think some moms choose their pain because they have to much debt to stay home thats when its not ok.