I'm so nervous about going to this meal, help me!?

Question

My girlfriend, whom I'm amazingly close too, has just told me that I'm invited to her female cousin's 20th birthday dinner. I asked her who was coming, and she told me it was her cousin's close friends and all of their family. Her cousin is a nice girl, and I have no problem, but we've never really conversed and it can be quite awkward sometimes.

Anyhow, whenever I've been invited to something like this before, I've always made an excuse because I just get so nervous about things like this. I feel if I make another excuse, my girlfriend, her cousin and their family are going to take personal offense. My girlfriend's mom is the nicest women in the world, and I've always been fine around her, but it's the entire other side of the family that I've yet to meet and I'm absoulutely terrified.

I only want to go because I'm pretty sure it'll make my girlfriend really happy. I know I'm going to have too eventually, but how can I stop myself from worrying and being so nervous?

The main problem I have is just the "nerves". I feel like I'm going to embarass myself for some reason and just ruin everything. I dunno why, but I also feel like I'm gonna be judged, too. The fact that it's on Monday will leave me in pieces from now until it's over, so, it's basically gonna kill me just thinking about going.

I dunno if to just make an excuse and not go, but... I can't see myself arriving there and feeling comfortable and I don't wanna look stupid because I can't think of anything to say.

Answer 1

Be honest with your girlfriend and tell her you're nervous and why. I'm sure she and her mom are pleased to introduce you to her relatives, they wouldn't want you to go unless they thought highly of you.

I think that ultimately you should go and try to relax. Her family may be just as nervous to meet you as they don't want to give you a bad impression.

Good luck!

Answer 2

My first husband was a lot like you. He liked my family one on one but to be around the whole gang just about made a nervous wreck out of him.

Before you go make sure that you are comfortable with your appearance. Don't try dressing in a style you THINK they may like. Just be yourself. When you get there, don't stand next to Aunt Sue if your gut tells you your uncomfortable doing so, just because she might be the leader of the pack doesn't help your nerves any, say hello and move on, you will connect with another member of the family. Circulate, by keeping yourself busy with meeting different members of the family you won't worry so much about making a bad impression on just one person. If you find yourself in an awkward situation excuse yourself and either get a drink of water or go to the bathroom, give yourself a little pep talk about why your there and how much it means to your girl, go back to the party and resume talking. Don't stand off all by yourself or cling to your girlfriend constantly. You must be someone special, otherwise she would not have wanted you to be there with her

Answer 3

Get a book from the library on how to handle social situations. The reason you get so nervous is you're afarid you will cause embarrassment to both yourself & those around you. Once you know what to do, you will begin to relax.
Brush up on the things that are going on in the world so that you can follow the conversations; but leave your politics at the door. Have a couple clean & funny/amusing stories in your arsenal.

Be your charming self. And if you happen to make a faux pas, trust me, it isn't the end of the world. We all have. It's a part of life.

Answer 4

First of all, define what it is you are afraid of? If your girlfriend's mother makes you feel comfortable, doesn't it stand to reason that the rest of her family will too? If she means anything to you and you truly want to make her happy, suck it up and go. Be determined to have a good time. Be friendly and charming. Listen more than talk, and observe. You can learn a lot just by watching and listening. You are a guest, not the entertainment, so just relax and enjoy the meal. You'll be fine.

Answer 5

Dude, I've been like that my whole life. Of course you've gotta go, by all means. It will mean the world to ur friend and you will get much ,much respect not only from the girls folks
but from the rest of the family. Trust me on this? The first time is always the hardest . That goes w/ everything !Right ? Be a Man

Answer 6

My husband is the same way. He is shy around all of my family. I dont know why because they accept him as part of the family. This is what I tell him; I tell him to have a good time and enjoy your time and dont worry what others are thinking. Be yourself at all times. Just relax and try to have a good time!

I think it's awesome you are going just to make your girlfriend happy. That shows you care a lot about her feelings. Just go to the family gathering and have a good time. Let loose a lil bit of your shyness and try to have a good time :) Things will work out fine!

Answer 7

things are going to play out the way they're supposed to wether your worring about them or not. is it really worth the time and bother of making yourself uncomfotable before you even get there. your girlfriend and you are close. that's all that matters. look at it like this. they could be the second family you never knew you wanted. my inlaws and i got along pretty well. jitters are normal but don't stress too bad. your girlfriend will be thrilled and dinner will be good. you seem nice just being so concerned with it all i'm sure your just overreacting. RELAX......i mean it. u'll be fine.

Answer 8

Wear a BIG Pink bow tie to the dinner with suspenders. Walk in like you own the place. Make it a point to make contact with every person at the party. People are not that much different than other animals. They can sense FEAR a mile off. I think I'd rather be at the party having fun than sitting home wandering what they were saying about my weird self.

Answer 9

You seem to really care about your girlfriend and it would only be fair for you to be by her side .
You shouldn't worry about meeting the rest of the family , just go and have fun , think of it this way if there were not excited about meeting you then they wouldn't have asked your girlfriend to bring you along...
Have a good time and just keep smiling!! =)

Answer 10

Get a hold of yourself, man! If I was on your real life I'd be shaking you! This whole thing will turn out fine if you think before you act-mre importantly, before you TALK. You said you and your gf were close,right? Just remember how much she loves you, and everything will be FINE. :-)