Me and my bf of almost 6 years have just got back together after splitting for 6 weeks(his choice) the problem is i dont think he is being totally honest with me.I know he met somebody at work and he still see`s her everyday and i dont think i can handle this,he works in a call centre and everyone is very friendly,i have never met any of them.He was always going out with them and staying out all night and now he`s back he`s promised this will change but i read his emails(i know i shouldn`t have) and there`s a night out arranged for next friday as someone is leaving,he told me this was next month but obviously it`s not and he`s planning on going and not telling me and i know that girl will be there,he told me i was to go with him next month and finally meet his work mates but how do i tell him i know it`s next week cos then he`ll know i`ve read his mail?I was gonna tell him i`ve arranged for us to go out together that night to see wot he says,is this wise???Any advice appreciated,xx
2006-08-26 03:22:33 · 28 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He says nothing actually happened with this girl but she wanted it to,she has phoned him late one night a couple of weeks ago and he said she didn`t know we were back together and in his email one guy has written something about a scandal at work and he replied 2phone me later as the bird is loitering" am i reading to much into all this?
We have a 4 year old son together and he swore he didn`t come back just for him but i`m not to sure anymore.I feel confused now and dont feel i can trust him anymore.
2006-08-26 03:28:36 · update #1
It's a difficult one, i would say you have arranged for a night out and see how he reacts, if he lies to you then you know what kind of man he is and you can end it. ?Just go with the flow. At the end of the day, if it isnt meant to be you will meet someone else who deserves you. and dont let someone make you someone you are not, because i imagine you wouldnt normally look at his mail. good luck
2006-08-26 03:38:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I would make arrangement for the day he suppose to go out with ppl from work to see what he tells you. It might not be right by I've checked my bf's email and I've told him. And he's told me why are you reading my emails? and I told him "if your not doing anything behind back it shouldnt bother you right? and he stays quiet. Privacy is privacy given. But, when you are married and you are dating someone as long as you are what could possibly be sooo private that you other significant can't read? I dont keep secrets or do anything online that I am not suppose to so in my case I dont care if he goes into my email and checks them. When you are hiding something you are obviously doing something wrong!
2006-08-26 03:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be honest with him and tell him that you read his emails. Try to discuss with him WHY he is not being honest with you.
If nothing is going on then maybe he is just afraid that you won't let him go. (Everyone needs some socializing) Hey could you go with him??
If something IS going on with his co worker then he will not want you to go along. You need to find this out. You have spent 6 years with this man and he is the father of your child. If he wants to try out another relationship then, my dear, there is NOTHING that you can do to stop him.
As hard as it will be, end the relationship if he is not committed to you. Seek some counselling to help you gain some self esteem and confidence and you will be amazed at the wonderful men that will come out the woodwork. (Much better quality than you have now.)
Good luck and just ENJOY!!
2006-08-26 03:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by jjoct18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you start thinking from his position?..
He know you don't like this girl, and it will cause him unomfort if got the 2 of u in the same place. that's why he told you it's next month.. The girl is leaving next week, and he's meeting you with his work collagues next month, she'll be out of work, and of his life, and you, will be close enough to know all his -real- friends. That's not bad at all. Some times we have to lie, and be dishonest, but just cause we know the truth would releaf us and hurt others! He chose to make a small lie to avoid problems., Respect his choice and don't see his mail from behind his back, and return to ask who's the untrustable person?!!
2006-08-26 03:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by Reham 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pleasure him so much and make him feel happy that he get's to the point where he feels bad and do not deserve you and then he'll tell you the truth! This always happens to ALOT of coup0les once they broke up when they get back together the boy or girl is already dating or going out with someone,you have to try this way or some other way to get it out of you,and remember when you are in alone time with him if your in a "I love you because....Conversation" try to add in "I love that your always honest to me" and or "Your so trustworthy" and it will get him,trust me!!!!! Hope this helps with your problem!!!! :-)
2006-08-26 03:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Lissa305 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Relationships are about friendships which should be based on loyalty and honesty. Your fighting fire with fire and your getting burnt. You having to snoop around to get the truth is no good. Six years is a long time, but the rest of your life will arguably be much much longer. I respect girls who stand by their man but I don't like to see this happening when there is no trust. You need to be happy, you don't need this doubt. Come straight out with it and give him a piece of your mind. If he can't deal with that, get him out your head.
2006-08-26 03:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by Dr Triis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, will it ever work out between you two? If you were broke up and he saw someone else, it will happen again. Move on or try to be such a loving, trusting girlfriend that he will not desire someone else. If you stay with him you will always have self-esteem problems.
2006-08-26 03:28:19 · answer #7 · answered by bixdix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't say a thing to him about either date or going with him next week.....let this thing play out...keep your eyes and ears open. Don't say anything to anyone about this situation. Never let the other person know what you know or how much you know. Never ask a question unless you know the answer first. If you let people talk, they will hang themself. If he doesn't hang himself then he had good intentions only.
2006-08-26 03:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him as soon as possible. I know you're not really enjoying this relationship, and deep down you know it too. He's stringing you alone until something better comes along, and it sounds like he's not very good at it either. You'll regain your self-respect with a good ole fashioned DUMPING dear.
2006-08-26 03:28:17 · answer #9 · answered by Mona 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Nati, Allthat advice above is good and well meant but you know and i know that your not going to take any notice of it,You know what you should do but your just scared to do it. You will just go on until you can,t take it no more and then it will sort itself. The geezers a bum, a bum you can do without, get shot of him.
2006-08-26 03:44:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋