i see my ex girlfriend all the time. i live next door to her. she keeps telling me to forget her and the life we had. but the problem is i cant. when i was with her my life was great. i had everything. but we brokeup. and now i cant stop thinking of her. i still love her but she says we will never be together again. but she also flirts with me still and still tries to hold my hand. i am tired of the mixed signals. how can i get past her and stopping of her all the time?
2006-08-26 02:52:48 · 20 answers · asked by unloved 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hey men, i would say you are lucky for asking this question, i see you still love her. well the fact is she wants you only, when she want's(that means you are disposable to her, if any guy come around she will give you last place in her life), so if you don't take controll of this situation you will find your self holding her books around school while she kisses another guy. i bet she did not give you a reason for breaking up with you, or if she did, it did not make any sense.
well when something like this happens your first reaction would be to try to talk things out, when you don't succed the first time you try again but guesse what, it make no defference. it only helps lower your self esteem, then you start felling like she is the only thing you want or can get.
Ok first thing, i know you like her but, she has proven to you that she is not worth your time, so find different girls to hang out with.
thank God for the good times you had with her, and look ahead. if you start looking back, you will start going back, and nothing hurts more than going back to something you can't change.no one can change the past, but you can change your future so make it happen.
and hey trust me there is no need for self pity, so put it in the trash, and look ahead with confidence.
1.)limit the amount of contact you have with her( at least for the next 2 weeks)this gives you itme to recover, and heals the pain you feel inside.
2.) No exchange of emotions ie: flirting(and yes no holding hands)
3.) do not be confused about her flirting, there is noting behind it. it is empty, so don't chase it, it is a waste of time.
4.) until she calls you, do not call her.( this helps) and if she calls, DO NOT say alot, just let her talk, until you say bye(do not be cold about it, but do not be emotional about it either just say bye like you would normaly to a guy friend)
5.) until you get a clear signal,(ex: her coming and asking for you guys to get back together) she is not worth your time.
Most importantly though everything you read here cannot help you except you act it out.
DO NOT BE MEAN TO HER, but also remember she is not your girlfriend any longer, so do not be emotional with her over anything.
I Learned the hard way, so make it easy on your self.
ait peace !!!
2006-08-26 04:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by Dieudonne' 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only with time does a broken heart mend.Submerge ur self in activities and people that take u on a better path. U never know who'll you'll meet. And although another heart breaker can be just right 'round the bend, u'll learn from each and every experience about what u need in a relationship verses what u want. Good Luck.
2006-08-26 03:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is wrong of her to say and do the opposite of what she says (she says we'll never be together again, yet... she continues to flirt and try to hold your hand). That is cruel and mean-spirited in my opinion.
You need to try your best, and when I say try, I mean be a rock, be solid and strong about this...
1. Recognize your feelings you had while with her
2. Be thankful for the time you did have, but rather than trying
to hold on to that... let it go. Accept it, and "learn" from it so
your next relationship is that much more fulfilling. Remember
we are learning beings
3. When she flirts with you, do not reciprocate.
4. If she trys to hold your hand, kindly ask her to stop
Don't become cold, but allow yourself time to move on and become a better person. This type of behavior she is displaying towards you is nothing more than a cat playing with a mouse.
Good Luck to you, in time your heart will mend. I know mine did in past love relationships.
2006-08-26 02:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get out and do new things to meet new people. Make a couple new friends try to forget about the "ex" all together because if she is sending you mixed signs she has no idea what she wants yet and that may have been the problem in her part of the relationship.
2006-08-26 02:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ignore her......being neighbors makes it much more difficult. However, you have to be strong. Those mixed signals are crappy, she is toying with your emotions. You don't want to be her puppet and clown. When she reaches for your hand you need to reject hers and not allow that. You need to tell her to behave and get a grip on herself. This will turn the tables for you. When she says flirty crap to you just reply with "whatever" and move on or go back inside to your place. Don't give her the time. You see her outside, don't acknowledge her. If she calls out to you, tell her you are in a hurry and remove yourself from sight. Don't make yourself available to her cat calling.
You seriously need to get a grip. Eventually the down fall is depression and your heart will begin to ache. These are serious symptoms of illness to come. Get out and run/walk/exercise. This will clear your mind and you will see other females around and one may take interest. You need to move on. By doing what I suggested she will get the message and she will begin to feel like an idiot. Don't back down or give in. Be strong you are going to be fine. Good luck!
2006-08-26 03:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to move on...girls often do things like that to see if they still have your heart. If you are alone she feels like she has you in her pocket for safe keeping. When you find someone new she will be all in your face flirting with you because she feels threaten by your new chick. The moment you are alone again she will begin to send you mix messages. You do not believe me give it a try and see what happens.
2006-08-26 03:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by theone-N-only 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to create boundaries with her. If you guys have broken up and she has no intentions of getting back together you need to let her know flirting with you and trying to hold your hand is NOT acceptable behavior. Don't let her play these games with you. You guys are friends and that is what you need to act like:friends and nothing more.
2006-08-26 02:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the way u described it it sounds like she's over u,but she's just hurting u nothing more.i mean face it,on 1 hand she tells u that u 2 hav broken up and u'll never b 2gether again,nd on the other hand she flirts with u nd all.i mean that's just hurtn u,she's makn u suffer
move on
GOOD LUCK
2006-08-26 03:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell u something i know my bf for 8 years i just loved him the last 3 years !!before that i hated him sooooo much always telling him to get away from me,leave me alone ...etc... he didnt give up he loved me and finally he got what he want (thats me) and now am sooooooo in love with him i cant live without him... so dont leave hope on her keep trying ,in the same time move on in ypur life ... u dont know what will happen ..good luck
2006-08-26 03:23:14 · answer #9 · answered by reem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her and have a conversation about your relationship. Ask her what she thinks. If she doesn't like the idea of having a relationship with you just stay as close as possible and if she does you have yourself a girlfriend.
2006-08-26 02:57:17 · answer #10 · answered by Katie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋