How is a MOTHER ble to abandon her own CHILD? Can the mind override instinct?

Answer 1

I think our instincts get ignored most of the time because we have so much other information to go on. As far as abandonment, I know the bonding process doesn't necessarily happen right away for some women (as it didn't with me; although I felt fiercely protective of my son, I didn't feel close to him for weeks), and they are maybe able to detach themselves as long as they don't think about it too much.

But I don't know what situation you're talking about. It's heartbreaking and sickening and appalling that some women leave their babies in dumpsters, but as far as giving a baby up for adoption, it is definitely sometimes the right choice.

Answer 2

Due to my own personal experience i know a mother is able to abandon her children all of my children are my step children apart from my youngest who was abandoned by her mother when she was 18 months old . Quite recently my eldest daughter ( 22 ) has been disowned my her mother and the same with my 3rd daughter ( 14 ) about 3 months ago and she refuses to speak to either of them now , also all my children have been abandoned by there biological fathers and only have me left as a dad . I think that peoples own selfish interests can override instinct and the sayings about a mothers love are a load of rubbish . Having said that my own mum has been brilliant with all of her 6 kids and so has my dad , making any sacrifice necessary , i guess that's why i keep going

Answer 3

My mom had to give up a child for adoption. My mom was 20 and already had 1 son. Her husband(high school sweetheart) abused her and cheated on her, so she got a divorce. She got pregnant and was living with her mom, who said she wouldn't help support mom and 2 kids. Since she had no other means of support, she gave up the girl for adoption.
Now if you're talking pure abdonment here(leaving a baby somewhere outside), I think it's more that the mother never felt any maternal instinct. Or was in too much fear for her life. There are a lot of states with safe haven laws, where you can drop off a baby at a hospital, police station, fire station etc and not be charged with abandoning a baby. That's what these women should do.

Answer 4

Yes, I think in exreme cases the mind can..and does override instinct !!
When a mother is in such emotional turmoil..not really knowing right from wrong, feeling like she just can't cope with life / kids / responcibily etc..she takes off without really thinking about how she'll feel long term !
Fathers do it a lot , some regret their decision others never do, so..eventhough nature tries to make sure that the bond between mother and child is such that the mother cannot ever abandon her kids , it does sometimes fail !
In my opinion if a mother can do that, then those children may be better off without her as she's clearly very unstable ( at that time anyway) . I have 2 kids and can't imagine EVER walking away...no matter how nuts they drive me at times.
Basically, the answer to your question is yes my dear, it can !

Answer 5

Of course the mind can over-ride instinct. Read Dawkins "the selfish gene" written in the 1970s for a fuller explanation.

As to how a Mother can abandon her child, it's a simple enough thing to do at the time. The long-term emmotional consequences however are more difficult. There's plenty of mothers who simply cannot cope with motherhood and who abandon their baby on the step of a hospital or a police station or something similar. It's not as uncommon as you may think.

Then again, there's the Mother's who put their children up for adoption, or the women who agrees to give birth to a surrogate child in order to allow another couple to raise that child. So, there are plenty of occasions when a Mother can over-ride the connection between mother and offspring and can abandon their child.

The mind can over-ride instinct. If it could not, evolution would not have been possible and we would all still be living in caves acting as hunter-gatherers rather than cultivating crops, building neighbourhoods / communities and overcoming our fear of such things as fire.

Our instincts are a basic set of primal emmotions which are genetically passed on to protect us and enhance our chances of surviving long enough to reproduce and allow our DNA to perpetuate into another generation and mix with other dna in the hope of surviving.

Humans have the ability to over-ride their instincts - and plenty of women do so when they take the decision to NOT give birth but to have a career for example.

Answer 6

What get's me is that father's do this all the time and no-one bats an eyelid.
However when the woman goes, she automatically gets labled a monster.
The truth is that people are selfish. Raising a child all but ends a lot of activities you take for granted before the child came. Some people feel that there entitlement to fun/happiness/love is greater than their parental obligation.
However women abandoning children is so taboo that most could not live with the shame of leaving, even if they wanted to. Since society does not make similar judgements about men, they do it everyday.

Answer 7

Depends on the reasoning. If the mother was being abused than it was to save her child & give them a better life. If she was an addict same thing. If she was raped than she would give the child up for reasons beyond her control. Was she poor? How many years ago was this? Was she too young & someone took her rights away? There are so many contributing factors that need to be looked at before someone can honestly answer this question.
Back in 1982 I was 17 when I had my son,..a friend of mine was 17 when she gave her daughter up for adoption. I had a very hard life (my choice) cleaning houses, bringing son from home to home with me to make ends meet. Eating mayonnaise & mustard sandwiches. My friend went on college and lives a different kind of life. I wouldn't have traded with her for all the $$$
in the world. But she's happy with her life choices & I with mine.
Time & Forgiveness can heal everything.

Answer 8

You know I have looked at my 5 month old several times and asked myself the question of how a mother could abandon her child. I have never came up with an answer. I have NEVER loved someone as much as my daughter. I can't imagine giving her up!! I think that woman that give their babies are either trying to give them a better life because they KNOW they won't be able to, strung out on drugs so they don't care or they simply don't have the mother instinct gene. These are the only things I can think of why a mother would abandon her child(ren).
I hope this helps.

Answer 9

It is usually some type of addiction or addictive behavior that over rides instinct. For example, drugs or being addicted to negative abusive relationships as in the case with the woman whose mother allowed her step father to severely beat her. And. Recently, some of this abuse and neglect can be blamed on conditioning. People hear so many stories about mothers who abuse their children even killing their own children let alone allow others to abuse them or simply abandon them or neglect them that it seems some people could become numb or accepting of this behavior wich could make it happen more frequently now that media and hollywood can spread these stories around the nation so quickly and continuously.

In some countries there are some cases of female infant mortality, that is where women kill their newborn infant babies because they are born female since the society has a preference for males and that can be blamed on the pressures of that society and culture. However, I think if you compared them these cases of female infant mortality are not nearly as numerous as cases of neglect and abuse within the United States and it seems to me that though both occurances are atrocious it takes a much more evil and demented person to continuously abuse or neglect a child and cause it pain throughout the duration of its life because each occurance should present remorse and guilt thus creating the need or desire to get help.

Also, it's extremely rare for primates such as chimpanzees to abandon or intentionally kill their babies. It is almost unheard of in the primate world although on very rare occasions it has been reported.

It's something to think about.

Answer 10

Initially the whole birthing experience can be really traumatic; hence post natal depression. But this can be overcome.

Why someone would leave their child in a back alley dumpster (if that's what you're asking) then I have no idea. Fear is a powerful thing and it can make you do things that are cruel and irrational. I can't understand it myself, because surely there should be an automatic instinctive love for the thing you've just created. Guess you'd have to ask someone who has done it...