daughter cries while going to daycare?

Question

my daughter is 2 and used to go to daycare for the last two months. she was happy right from the first day and never cried on a single day. But since last couple of days she is crying... she wants me to stay there with her. I am working and cannot afford to do this. What do I do?

Answer 1

It is a common reaction from kids. They are telling you I want you to take care of me but they really cannot understand that you need to work. It happened to me quite a bit. Most days were fine but then there would be that one day where he would cry. He had been in daycare since he was 18 months old. He even would do it at my mother's house when I would pick him up. He would act very whiny. Also there were times when I would get home at night that he would go through some crying spells. I would do my best to calm him down and sometimes it involved me enough so I could not fix supper and ended up eating left overs.

When you are dropping your daughter off at daycare give her to the daycare worker and just walk away. Its hard--I know but the more she see the reaction it creates in you the more she is going to continue to do it. Most of the time I bet it doesn't even continue after you are gone. After a while she will not even start to cry after you drop her off. She did all right the first two months and she will continue to do fine. You can call the daycare when you get to work to check on her. I would just make sure she is being well taken care of at the daycare and if you feel satisfied with the care she is receiving. More than likely it is not much to worry about. Just keep your eyes open to make sure she is well taken care of because you cannot take anything for granted with daycare (although the majority of daycares are fine) and be aware of how well they take care of the other kids.

My son is now 7 and he is more aware of me working and if I have to drop him off. So when I do extra time I do it on a Sunday when my husband is home so that I don't have to drop him off at my mother's house. About a few months ago I was dropping him off on a Saturday at my mother's for about 4 hours. One day in the car on the way home he asked me if I could change my work hours. I asked my husband what he thought and my husband stated that he didn't like being dropped off. So if I work on a weekend day I just end up working on Sunday where I don't have to drop him off and my husband is home. I make more of an effort now that he is older to be home when I can and I don't end up running alot of errands or scheduling alot of activities--I want the time to be for us. If he goes and plays with his friends at least I am here. There are going to be those times when you or even I may not be able to accomodate them. Its hard for her to understand at this point. Michael is much older and he understands now that there are exceptions to the rule which I think is the best way to teach them. Usually he wants to watch this one TV show in the afternoon. Well if we happen to be home he can watch it. If not he will see it another time.

We just took him out of daycare completely. We had busing issues with the the school district. We only had him in before school as I have been able to pick him up after school. My husband would take him to school 3 days a week and we used the other two for day care unless he had to be to work earlier as school doesn't start until 9 o'clock. My husband has just picked up another 10 to 7 shift so four days out of the week he will take him to school and I will have the only one day to worry abount and take him and go in late. Finances dictated this decision. So now he is for the first time not in any daycare in his whole life.

You have to work and at her young age she cannot understand that. Maybe one day pick her up early and take her to a park for a little bit of time to spend alone with her and just her. Remember to stay vigilent about the daycare making sure she is being well taken care. We cannot take daycare for granted but stay alert to see if anything alarms you the way she is being taken care of. You can always call the daycare when you get to work. They should be sympathetic to your concern. If they are not then you need to find another daycare, but if they are sympathetic then you can be reassured.

You have to just walk away. It hurts us more than they do. They put the guilt trip on us. You and I have to work for a living and there is no way around it. I had hoped to be part time in 5 years after my son was born but now he is 7 and I am still working full time. Due to finances there is no way I can work part time and still earn the money I need.

You could also reassure her and tell her that you will pick her up after work. As time goes on she will get the message that you are coming back to get her which is probably her biggest fear that you won't be returning. If she sees you reacting to it she will continue to do it. Maybe see if you can find a book that might explain that mommy has to go to work but will come back. Does she take a favorite toy or blanket to daycare?

You are doing the best you can. Children may not understand completely until they are much older. We need to provide for our families. I just constantly reassure my son that I am here for him. I am a career woman in the fact that I have to work. At one time I wanted to apply for another job but the hours would not benefit me and I have more flexibility where I work now. I also had the opportunity to apply to be a supervisor. Again I decided aganist it because I need to take care of Michael and cannot afford to be working beyond a certain point and I don't want all the hassles that come with being a supervisor. Until he gets to a point where he does not need me I will stay where I am. I don't regret it-I can go and put my hours in and that is what I need to do at thiis point. I may want to go into a supervisory position somewhere down the road or at that point I may just want to stay low man on the totem pole.

But whatever the situation I have considered my son. I have to be the one to have the flexible schedule. I cannot work from home as he is still too young and he would want me to be with him even if he is watching TV.

I sound like a broken record and this response is long but you cannot feel guilty for doing what you need to do to provide for your family. The longer you stay with her when you drop her off at daycare the more she will continue to cry.

Answer 2

Ask the daycare teacher if anything unusual happened, and ask your daughter. Sounds like she may have gotten into trouble or another child may have done something. Call or stop by the daycare during the day to check on her. Reassure her that you will pick her up after work. Give her hugs and kisses before leaving, but make it short. If it continues, you may want to take her out of that daycare.

Answer 3

Talk to the director and or her teacher to find out if something happened to make her unhappy about going, it may be something as simple as another child took her toy to she got in trouble for something...it should also be that she's going through slight seperation anxiety, it happens around the age of 2. If the teacher says nothing has happened, they put a comfort item from home that she can keep with her during the day, and it could also be that once you leave she's fine.

I used to teach preschool and work in a childcare and nine times out of ten once the parent leaves the child that is upset calms down once the parent leaves.

If there are still major concerns then just drop by and observe one day not letting you daughter see you, or that will make it worse.

Answer 4

You could try talking with her because like Socialgal I think something must have happened (it could be some other kid took her toy and didn't get in trouble for it). I know she's 2 - but you could use puppets or drawings. Also talk with the personnel of the daycare to see if there's anything they noticed. And do the pop-ins to double check them. I know that there are daycares that put in cameras that link to their websites - wouldn't that be nice to be able to check your daughter while at work.

Answer 5

To begin with, is there something different going on at home? If not find out if something is going on at daycare that she doesnt' like. You also need to eveluate your home settings. If you are married, are you and your husband fighting, that can cause any number of feelings to go through a little's head. Try to take a day off of work if you can afford it and try to spy on your child at school with out her seeing. If you think it is the daycare, i would change daycares. I work as an assistant director at a daycare, i know its hard to spy, but at the center i work at, we have cameras in everyone of our classrooms that allows the parents internet access to view their child through out the day. Good luck!

Answer 6

I also think you need to find out what has happened at this daycare. She is only 2. I believe she is trying to tell you something. You should always pop in unexpected from time to time. If you cant because of your job, ask a friend or a trusting relative to do this for you. Get to the bottom of this now.

Answer 7

There must have been a situation to make her upset. It could have been mistreatment from a worker or something as silly as a fight with another child over a toy.

It's your right as a parent to do a surprise visit and just show up unannounced to see what's up and check on how she is really doing. I would check for other signs that something is wrong. Bad dreams, not eating well, not playing with other children.

If she continues to act that way for much longer I would look into it much seriously though.

Answer 8

It's best for her to get over this, so as much as it hurts you, it's natural child development for your daughter. She wants to be with you and if you let her be with you all the time, then she'd be sleeping in your bed, sitting on your lap while you're eating, etc. You need to draw limits for her own good and for yours. If not, she'll be a 40 year old woman living in your basement :)

So, you're doing the right thing. You are not hurting her by putting her in day care and one day in the next few weeks you'll pick her up at day care and she won't want to leave because she's having so much fun.

Keep up the good parenting!

Also, to respond to everyone who says something bad happened to her at day care, I don't think this is necessarily true. Kids go through phases and I'd bet that she's just going through a phase where she wants to spend mroe time with mama.

Answer 9

I work in a nursery and im looking after children of 1-2 years!

I have seen this so many times, and i see how the children are after they have upset the parents and they have left!
And they are fine and playing like nothing happened!

In some cases the children are upset for longer and this is when they have just started so you are very lucky for her to be happy straight away!

Dont worry about it, she will probably get bored of it soon and be absolutly fine again!

Answer 10

Find out what is going on at the daycare. Maybe the reason she doesn't want to go is because something happened while she was there.

Answer 11

I'd check up on the daycare. Something must have changed.