When to give up? Will we ever be more than friends?

Question

I like a male colleague of mine. I didn't tell anyone that I liked him and we hit if off and became fast friends, even socialising outside the office. One day, I told a female workmate of mine that I liked this guy. And she spread the news to a few people at work. Needless to say, the guy I liked heard about it and asked me if I liked him. I said I did and he said that he was flattered but he only saw me as a good friend, and he didn't see us going any furthur. He said that he wasn't dating anyone else at the moment and had no wish to enter in any relationships any time soon.

One year on, we remained as friends, and never brought up this issue again. However, he has no idea that I still like him. I have tried dating other people, but I don't find them suitable.To complicate matters, another female colleague likes him as well! He told me that he doesn't have feelings for her. It is awkward when the 3 of us have to work on tasks together or when we are at office function. help.

Answer 1

you actually sound to be a nice and sensible girl... so i do think its his loss not yours. and maybe there are also underlying issues thats why he cant hit if off with you, commitment thing, etc.. he may even be gay! LOL!

but if you really want to give it another shot with this guy, ok, i'll tell you this. first, be the best damn attractive woman that you can be. 2nd, you should stop acting that you like him. A person usually takes it for granted that another person likes him/her. with the tables turned, he may actually go after you.

and whatever happens, stop expecting anything. this is just bringing you unnecessary anxiety, even hurt or pain. you sound nice, so i do believe you'll find other better men out there.

hey, if my advice works, you owe one! ok?

Answer 2

Maybe you should move on try going out with other guys WITHOUT comparing them to that guy, cause he is obviously not into you, so why waste time for a unrequited love? I understand it's hard and more over you haven't even enter a relationship with that guy how are you going to know that he's most suitable for you? I suggest that maybe you can try looking for a job elsewhere, stop going out with him ALONE, unless it's work related. When a guy told you that he's not interested mean he's really not interested, you are only making yourself feel worse if you keep thinking whether you guys will ever be more than friends! Best of luck to you and i hope you can find someone who loves you as much as you do.

Answer 3

this is a really awkward situation... but I think that firstly... keep work and relations separate. They shld not be mixed or bias will arise... also ..since u know the guy have no feelings for your female coworker... there is nothing to worry... the worrying is that u are still liking this guy cos u are ard him all the time... why not try to meet up less with him and find someone out there???? no wonder u cannot find anyone compatible.. cos u have already placed this male guy in your 1st piroty.. ask urself.. how many times u have compared other guys with this guy in your heart and then tell urself that this guy are your going out w is not compatible... if u cannot get ourself out of this male cowoker shadows... then u will never like another person... what i advise u to do is to ask this make coworker again abt his feeling for u .. if he say that he is not interested... then gal.. u got the answer... give him up... concentrate on other guys... dun wayse ur outh waiting for this guy... what meant to be willbe... what not.. will not meant to be.... u can do it one... just brace up courage and u can do anything.... hope u can solve this.... :P

Answer 4

It is always awkward that when you tell someone you like him but he just treat you as a normal friend. It is something that is not easy to deal with at this moment but I think you are bold enough to accept the fact. Sometimes this is part and parcel of life, you have to learn to accept that people are different coz most of the time when we really live somebody we tends to compare the person with the others. This is not fair to others coz everybody is different and it is bcoz we like the person so much that sometimes we are treating others as his/her substitute. I hope you can take a step back and think over calmly. Coz when you think over this calmly, you may get a better idea on the type of guy you like.

Answer 5

You've acted appropriatly, If the man is'nt interested than he's not. Don't be up tight when your projects involve all three of you. It's a true sign of maturity when you conduct yourself properly in a stressful situation. I found in life that when you try to rush or push for things you wan't your always dissatified with the outcome. I learned to just let it ride and trust in God to guide your feet along the path of life. Be good and God Bless

Answer 6

Well...I'm so sorry to hear about this love not returned situation. But you must honor his wishes. If he's not interested in you..that should tell you that he's not the one for you..God's got another plan. You maybe in love with who you think he is...there maybe other things you don't see. I know we are not in 3rd grade anymore..but sometimes is still feels like. Try to move on and keep your mind on other things and other people..you seem like you are very intelligent and I'm sure there are many that would give their left arm to date you...move on!

Good Luck!

Answer 7

It's either you bring up the issue again to him or remain silent about your feelings forever. It's all up to you. If you ask him about how he feels for you now, and if he said FRIENDS only. Then, it's either you remain in love with him in silence or move on and find somebody else who can reciprocate your wonderful feeling. Do whatever that should make you feel happy.

Answer 8

if you like him as much as you say you do don't give up keep trying eventually he will figure out how much you really do care for him

Answer 9

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Answer 10

No harm telling him again..