Broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago, yesterday he contacted me. He request me to update him on myself periodically. He asked about my work, diet and if i'm meeting any new guys or what i've been doing lately as i didn't contact him at all...
After some talking, he told me that all he wanted to tell me is he think about me most of the time. Why he's acting this way.. he's the one who wanted to break up ans he never talk about reconcilation.
What he wanted actually?? Should i be friend with him or should i just let him be the past? What should i do now? Any advice is much appreciated...
2006-08-26 02:02:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your boyfriend is the one who broke up with you, that's not a good sign. His actions to reconnect with you send mixed messages and will serve to complicate your life.
While the concept of having exes as friends is ideal, he is the one who broke up with you. In doing so, there's a lot of hurt because he voluntarily chose to rip the two of you apart. There's a healing process that comes with that.
By communicating with you at a stage where you're still recuperating emotionally, it's like opening an old wound. You haven't had time to heal yet and get a perspective on things. When he chose to part ways with you, that was a major step.
When he broke up with you, he technically gave up the right or privilege to being kept up to date on what's going on in your life. That especially comes to whether you've been meeting any guys or dating. That's no longer any of his concern.
Even then, most people aren't even emotionally equipped to handle jealousy when they see their exes moving on with their lives and dating other people.
Personally, I think it's commendable on your part where you didn't contact him at all. It shows that you have the strength to go on without him. There are others who are in your situation who can't go a day, much less a week without wanting to talk to that person.
The fact that he is the one who broke up with you and then turns around telling you that he thinks about you all the time and wants to know what's going on in your life hints that he has some issues he has to deal with on his own.
He has to get his own priorities straight as to what direction his life is going else he'll drag you and anyone else down with him. That's why he's confused. That indecision is contagious because his wishy washy nature and inability to commit to certain path will cloud your judgment as well. That's not healthy.
In his case, he seems to want to have his cake and eat it, too. He wanted to break up with you. However, he wants to reap the benefits of being your friend.
I'd be careful with people like that. You're better off keeping your distance and focusing on yourself right now. I wouldn't worry about what he's doing. He's the one who chose to sever ties with you.
If he broke it off with you the first time, who's to say that he'll establish another relationship with you and then break it off with you again. That will be twice that you've gotten burned.
Things would've turned out differently if he'd found someone to distract him or keep him from thinking about you. When he broke up with you, that was a serious and emotionally painful thing to do to someone.
Because he's got all this time to think about you, now he's trying to contact you again. Usually, it isn't until people lose something or when it's gone that they realize what they've lost or how the little perks or advantages that came with being with such an individual are no longer there.
For your own sake, I suggest you distance yourself for your own sanity and to avoid confusion. If he calls you, just take a message. I bet if you let him leave messages and then listen to them a day or even a week later, you'll have a clearer perspective on where you stand in your life as well as him.
If you keep taking his calls and remaining in contact with him, you'll allow him to establish a renewed foothold in your life, which may not be the best thing for you right now.
2006-08-26 02:22:33 · answer #1 · answered by "IRonIC" by Alanis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's having second thoughts. The question is, are you?
It would appear that the ball is totally in your court. do you want the relationship to resume, or do you want to see other people.
Answer these questions to yourself honestly, and then you can tell him what you're doing.
BUT, be warned. After 3 weeks, are you just a "booty call"?
I don't believe that we can be friends with people after we've ended an intimate relationship (not necessarily sexual). It takes time to heal and recover.
DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOU!
2006-08-26 02:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello! We've talked by IM before and u were cool. Well to answer your question, you should let him be and you be the girl he dreamed of. You work your stuff and look elsewhere. Obviously he had second thoughts about you. You deserve better and you will find someone else who cares.
Well that's it lol.....IM me haven't heard from you lately.
2006-08-26 02:14:29 · answer #3 · answered by az550nm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds confused. If you really love him just keep in touch with him but still see other people. It sounds like hes trying to keep tabs on you just in case he made a mistake...He shouldn't be able to have his cake and eat it too....seriously since hes the one who wanted to break up.....just stay friends with him and I hope you find a better man who knows for sure that he wants to be with you...please don't settle for someone that isn't even sure that they want to be with you..you can do better.
2006-08-26 02:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if ur bf is not going with anyone else than just act like his friend and let him given a chance but dont show ur feelings to him , if he really loves u he will talk himself i believe bcuz true love makes anyone talk.
2006-08-26 02:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by sammy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this done to me. I learned the hard way. So heres my advice.... What happend is in the past. Leave it there. Go on with your life. You deserve better!!! You go, girl!!!
2006-08-26 02:07:18 · answer #6 · answered by somewoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him frankly rather than breaking your head on guessing or taking advices.
2006-08-26 02:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by a j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he break up with you? Was it because he found someone else? If so, you run the risk of him doing it again.
2006-08-26 02:11:47 · answer #8 · answered by scourgeoftheleft 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he wants to be with you but he don't know how to tell you if he is nice to you then stay with him good men are hard to find but you are young still a hole life ahead of you
2006-08-26 02:09:46 · answer #9 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on, he sounds controlling. You don't need that
2006-08-26 02:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋