This is the story.There is a man in my life right now who tells me and shows me in many ways that he is in love withme.He wants to marry me and have kids next year.He wants to take me places....I am just attracted to him but i am not in love with him.He is a very very good person, kind generous,caring and loving...and intelligent and successful.Problem is i want a life of my own.I don't fancy getting married and settling and living someones life...i want to makemy own plans...go where ever,...do a lot of work and traveling...and maybe maybe getmarried at some point.I feel like i maybe loosing a great guy(but im not in love with him) but i also think i can't go for it and tie my professional life and other plans.any ideas
2006-08-26 01:38:02 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i forgot to add that i did tell him the way i feel and think but he said he would wait that i'm the one for him....I dont think it is fair especially since i am not sure if at all i want to get married
2006-08-26 03:22:43 · update #1
He sounds like a great guy, but you can't fake what you don't feel. You've got to live your life, your way.
2006-08-26 01:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
clearly u r not ready 4 commitment, & the worst thing u could do would b 2 settle 4 something u r not ready 4. if he is serioius about the relationsohip then perhaps he would give u the time & space u need. maybe when u r away from him u may fine that absence indeed does make the heart grow fonder.. it sounds like there may b some age difference btween u 2? this could have a lot 2 do with things. dont just keep him hanging on, if u r not ready, dont do something rash in the hopes that maybe u will grow 2 love him. u will just end up resenting him. it would not b fair 2 either of u, let him get on with his life & maybe have a chance 2 find true happiness & u can do the same. it is very possible that u 2 can remain steadfast friends thru this also.
2006-08-26 08:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by ladydi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your problem here is that you want to tell him what you just asked us. You don't want to hurt his feelings and I understand that. Tell him how you feel. It will be difficult for you to do this but I think deep down inside you know this is what you need to do.
You speak of him highly and I think you are worried that this is the wrong choice. I sense that you worry that if you tell him how you feel right now you may change your mind about him at a later date and what if it's to late?
I think it boils down to this. 1. If you don't tell him what is on your mind and you try to live your life the way he wants then you will have regret and resentment towards him at some point in time. This will cause tension and things more than likely won't work out for the two of you.
2. If you tell him how you feel even if this upsets him he will respect you more for your honesty. Perhaps at a later date the two of you will end up together. If not you will end up meeting someone and when your ready then you will settle down.
It sounds like you are an independent person whom needs to explore the world on your own terms. There is nothing wrong with this as far as I can see. I think once you reach your goals in your professional life then you will have a different outlook on marriage. Your just simply not ready for marriage right now and your focus right now is your professional life. Again nothing wrong with they way you feel.
Good luck
2006-08-26 08:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by Peanut 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to tell you the truth I would be completely honest with him and tell him how you feel. Although I would not throw him out of my life either. Keep him around there's always room for a friend. If he decides he needs to find someone to settle down with then let him go but remind him that he has a friend in you.
2006-08-26 08:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by crafts c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are not ready for the same things he is.
I think you should live your life, do the things you want to do, be honest with him and tell him that you two want different things at this point but you never know later. Keep in touch with him as a friend and you never know.
Only thing to think about is that honest, good men are hard to come by. Good luck!
2006-08-26 08:47:18 · answer #5 · answered by kinito_2000_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol just tell him what you just said.... you basically just said you dont wana get married and you dont wana be chained down to one guy N you wana go places N go where ever.. Just tell him that.. And if he is as a good of a guy as you say he is im sure he will understand and wait for you if he does truely love you.And you two can continue to be friends.
2006-08-26 08:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by disturbedredrum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel, maybe he is saying these things because he thinks it's what you want to hear. He sounds like a good guy, maybe he would like your plans better
2006-08-26 08:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by mightymight 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what is best for YOU. and if it includes him great, if not, so what. You'll find mister right someday. Life is to short to step to the beat of someone else's drum.
2006-08-26 08:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by Michael S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*** UNPOPULAR ANSWER ALERT! ***
Did you ever see Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life?" He never got to do the things he thought he wanted to do either. Your place in life is with this guy, you just don't know it yet.
2006-08-26 08:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by Answers1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may be in love with him now talk to him see what he thinks about your life and whats is ahead for you and him if he is good to you stay with him good men are hard to find you talk nice about him vary nice love just happens and fast i don't think you will be happy if you let him go please use your head think about it you may love him and not know it good luck to you hope it works for you just anther nice guy
2006-08-26 08:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋