How can I get my hubby to understand he is not getting it he says it doesn't make sense I read it to him everything the Dr gave me about it I really need advice.
2006-08-26 01:37:48 · 16 answers · asked by sashaaspen 4 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
I work with fibro patients in the water and I am sorry to say that it is one of the most misunderstood diseases around. People look at you and see a strong healthy person and ask, "So what's the problem?" So I will address this note to your husband:
Your wife will have periodic pain and weakness - sort of like having arthritis in her muscles instead of her joints, yet her joints may also be involved. There may be days when the touch of even clothing can hurt. Stress increases the problem. Soooo, if you love your wife, try to be kind and understanding and help her through the days when she is not well. If your balls were swollen or you had prostrate problems, in spite of not understanding your pain, I am sure she would be there to help you and support you. It takes a strong person to help and support another, especially when nothing "appears" wrong to the eye.
If you think that the symtoms and results do not make sense to you, imagine how your wife feels. She certainly is probably having a hard time accepting this disease too. Many ask themselves, "why me? what did I do to deserve this?" and the answer is nothing. It is basically an auto immune disease.
So please, dear husband, be patient, be kind, and be gentle and helpful to your wife. Talk to the doctors with her, read whatever you can and together you will get through this. They are making some progress with some patients. My students find that Yoga and Ai Chi in the warm water pool helps. Relaxation, meditation, etc. can help somewhat too. One of my younger students (28) has to sometimes take a series of 9 -12 shots to ease the pain when she is having really bad stretches, but they do help her for a while. Accupuncture helps some. Each person is so different. All they can do is try various things until they find something that works for each individual at that time.
So if you are the strong, loving husband that I know you can be - your strength and understanding will help your wife a lot.
My best to you both!
2006-08-26 01:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by dddanse 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. Besides dealing with the pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia, you may also have to deal with the frustration of having a condition that's often misunderstood.
Organizations such as the Arthritis Foundation and the American Chronic Pain Association provide educational classes and support groups. These groups can often provide a level of help and advice that you might not find anywhere else. They can also help put you in touch with others who have had similar experiences and can understand what you're going through.
He may never understand the disease, but that doesn't mean that he can't still show compassion for your pain.
Have you tried a high iron diet yet? It is supposed to be the 'natural cure'. Try adding a lot of red meat to your diet.
2006-08-26 01:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry. to boot dealing with the discomfort and fatigue of fibromyalgia, you additionally can could cope with the frustration of having a challenge it somewhat is regularly misunderstood. businesses such using fact the Arthritis commencing up and the yankee continual discomfort association furnish tutorial categories and help businesses. those businesses can regularly furnish a level of help and advice which you basically might desire to now no longer discover everywhere else. They could additionally help placed you in touch with others who've had an comparable comments and could understand what you're dealing with way of. He might in all risk by using no potential understand the ailment, in spite of the shown fact that that doesn't recommend that he can not nevertheless exhibit compassion on your discomfort. have you ever tried a suitable iron foodstuff yet? it particularly is meant to be the 'conventional healing'. try which incorporates various pink meat on your foodstuff.
2016-09-30 00:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by kinjorski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife suffers with fybromyalgia and it is a very painful, debilitating syndrome. Take your husband to some of the chronic pain sites and let him read through them, take him to your next Dr. appointment & have the Dr. explain it to him. I am sorry to hear that he is not being supportive but this is actually pretty normal behavior from people who don't understand chronic pain & chronic fatigue. It is an invisible illness. People are much more sympathetic to a broken arm or leg becuse they see the cast. Fybromyalgia can't be seen. My wife is on Social Security disability and suffers daily. Seek help from others who can support you & understand what you are going through. There are alot of support websites. Good luck and don't give up!
2006-08-26 01:50:20 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get another doctor - another diagnosis.
Not only is fibromyalgia misunderstood, most MD's don't believe there is such a condition.
You need to find a real doctor with a real treatment for what you really have. It's no more fibromyalgia than it is possession by spirits.
Any time you get a doctor who tells you you have a disease that requires a lifetime of treatment, and for which there is no cure, you've got a doctor who needs help making his monthly payments. It's hogwash, and they'll never let go of you.
Get some real help. If the next guy says fibromyalgia, move on.
2006-08-26 01:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by gabluesmanxlt 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The book Fibromyalgia for dummies has a section on how to talk to people about it and facts to let them know.
A friend loaned me the book and I love it.You can also get it on ebay.
I have gotten more help and understanding from this book than anything else .
Also there is NO EFFECTIVE treatment for this disease and it has NOTHING to do with what you eat !!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-08-26 01:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by kimber 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People who don't have it dont really understand. If something doesn't make sense, then get the answers to such questions.
Dont be running everyting the Dr gives yu into him. It may be wise to back off a bit with the readin gof things. Wait until he asks questions and then answer them.
2006-08-26 01:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about this...I saw this in my clients. I agree that it is a misunderstood condition with many symptoms. Just keep him informed about "where you are on the map" in terms of your pain. He may need some training in understanding that, "No, I have no more energy, and I am lying down for the rest of the day. I will need your help with dinner. Will you make it please?" By telling him how you feel and what your needs are, he may begin to see what the picture looks like.
2006-08-26 01:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by magnamamma 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The statement "husband does not understand" can apply to most stuff, huh?
OK, this is how I would handle it if it was me:
I would give up on trying to convince him.
Let him figure it out himself, and do not shove it down his throat, as it will be seen as an attention-getting scheme. Think about it, truly, not many people want to hear anyone continuinely complaining about their ailments.
"Walk Quietly, but Walk Strong "is what I would say.
if you somehow need his acceptance, then maybe it is you that you need to convince it is ok to do less for him or with him.
If not, let it go.
he will eventually pick up on it, or will ask about it to other people that may experience it.
if he doesn't come around, then you can't force him.
Spend your energy taking care of yourself, and pushing yourself as far as you can to get by each day.
2006-08-26 01:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by Fitchurg Girl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tie your husband to the bed one night. When he awakes, intermittently poke random areas of his body with a fork while rubbing other random areas with a rough-grade sandpaper.
I think then he might get an idea of what you go through every day of your life.
2006-08-26 01:49:12 · answer #10 · answered by JordanP 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋