i have been dating this guy for two years and we also have a child who is nine months old. i really think i love him and the next minute i dont . we dont leave together , we aint married ,we still just boyfriend and girlfriend . i am 19 yrs and i am going to University next year. i have never reached climax during sex with him but he has almost every time we done it. i actually adore other guys who i meet but i am scared to leave him cause when he is angry he becomes violent and abusive . we argue a lot . iam scared to leave cause he says to me noone will go out with me because i have a baby. i dont know what to do ?i feel like i am stuck on him and i am also afraid to miss him if i dump him?what if i love him and realise later that he was not worth leaving ?,please help if you have any ideas.
2006-08-26 00:59:45 · 8 answers · asked by geebabe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Leave him if he is hurting you or the baby. There are guys in this world who won't see having a baby as a problem or baggage. I know because I am one of those guys. Good luck to you but nobody ever has the right to be abusive to you or the baby.
2006-08-26 01:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by osunumberonefan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to begin with if he becomes abusive when he is angry you should leave for that reason alone. especially with a child.
if he is abusive towards you , chances are he will be abusive to your child as he/she becomes older.
second.. He tells you no one else will go out with you because you have a baby. That is just to make you feel so insecure that no one else will want you so you will feel like it's him or nobody.
which is bullsh*t. I had a baby at 16 divorced her father when i was seventeen . I met a great guy and we are married now. having a baby didn't affect my dating at all.
I went through the exact same thing that you are going through.
He was 8 years older than me and i was always very intimidated by him. He was always angry about something stupid and very jealous.
He would always tell me that no one else wanted me. I stayed with him for 3 years. during that time i really wanted out but i could never get the courage to really leave. I was always afraid of making him "mad". I was really unhappy. I thought that I loved him "sometimes" but most of the time I really dreaded it when it was time for him to come home. After I finally did leave , I regreted that I had wasted 3 years of my life with him that i could never get back. I still kick myself to this day for putting up with his ****. I will regret it for the rest of my life. Don't waste anymore of your precious time here on earth with a jerk like him. And believe me.. having a child will not stop true love from finding you.
there are a lot of really great guys out there.
good luck.
2006-08-26 01:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by mylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, if he gets violent, you HAVE to leave. What would you do if he got violent with your child? Leave and get a restraining order. You deserve to have someone in your life who wants you and you will find him. He won't care that you have a child.
As for sex, it is easier for a man than a woman. Women are made differently and most women can't climax from intercourse and you will need the manipulation of your clit before it will happen.
2006-08-26 01:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through, but you shouldnt leave him for the sex, girl leave him because he has a bad temper and that hes abusive. Yeah, of course your going to miss him when hesgone, thats just natural. But he's harming your life andd that baby's if you let him stick around and he starts getting very abusive. you both need to just take some time apart from one another. hope that i helped.
2006-08-26 01:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by puppyluv_66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
two things... if you arnt happy with your sexual life, you need to communicate with him and tell him what would make you feel better. the key is communication.
second thing is that if it is not a healthy relationship, should you stick with him? What kind of an example does this set for your child? it is not good to be in an abusive relationship and perhaps you two should find someone to talk to, a counsoler, a pastor, a 3rd party who is not on anyone's side.
2006-08-26 01:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by whiteafrican01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all set limits on ourselves because we think it's the best we can do. The successful ones move above their comfort zone and realize there's more in this life than ever thought. For you to be happy and a good parent to your child, you deserve better. Take that first step, and make a better life for yourself. Have faith in your "gut feelings". Go for it. You are worth it.
2006-08-26 01:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Michael S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first if all you're relationship is based on is sex, you need to leave him and get with someone else. saying that no one else would go out with him is a common technique guys use to try and get girls to stay with them. you need to do whats best for u and ur baby. If its stay with him and live with insecurities, fine, if its leave him and find someone that completes you great.
as for your sexual problem, have the guy seduce you first, dont just jump straight into it. have him make love to you, and work on pleasuring you. if you want the full write up on how a guy can give his girl 5-6 a night just get ahold of me.
2006-08-26 01:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, either it is your fault you are having one.....or, and most likely, are with a guy that doesn't have a clue.....The baby will make it so some guys would not go out with you.....but they are boys, not men....and the there will be some that will go out with you, because you do have a baby, she does it, and they are boys......men will go out with you for all the right reasons....and if he gets violent? Call the police...and have him arrested......crash course in anger management
2006-08-26 01:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋