Need your SERIOUS advice :i dont believe in my religion's ideology ??

Question

i was baptised as a Christian but i never felt the need to pray although i've been through rough periods in my life.as a child when we learned of the christian ideology i always had questions which nobody could answer.i respect religion,but i don't believe in my religion.i think christians are shallow and they consider themselves superior to other religions by saying that christianity is the true religion.if i change my religion does that mean that i'm a bad person or that i hurt my family?what should i do?when we celebrate Easter or Christmas i don't feel anything special.i want to know what you think.Is there anyone who feels the same?Have you ever had doubts concerning your faith?

Answer 1

It sounds like you're confusing "Churchianity" with "Christianity."

Also, religion is nothing more or less than ritualized behavior; faith is the short bridge between reasonable uncertainty and steadfast belief. Faith is about your theology; religion is about your behavior.

In the early stages (which can last decades), doubts of one's faith are normal: each rational person realizes that he or she could be mistaken about the facts and circumstances surrounding the mysteries of God -- especially when there is little experience upon which to draw.

Religiosity stems from organized religion; both are the bane of mankind.

There are plenty of "Christians" that will tell you it's bad to not celebrate Christmas and Easter -- and just as many (if not more) that will tell you both are pagan holidays that no Christian ought to celebrate.

In reality, the principle of Peter's vision (Acts 10:9-16) applies: it's only pagan if you want it to be.

Consider Romans 14:5,6. I'm an "every day" sort of guy, but that's just me. Most of the people I know are really into observing "special" days, but they all seem the same to me.

Email me: I'd be interested in trying to answer some of your "unanswerable" questions.

If your family knows you're just seeking the truth, they shouldn't feel hurt by your decision (whatever it is). And if you're as honest as you seem to be, I don't think you're in danger of being a bad person.

Answer 2

Given the other answers, I'm not sure I can add much. Here's the stripped down version.

1) First and foremost, doubts about religion are normal. People who never have doubts usually aren't really thinking about things.

2) You cannot be a bad person simply by questioning your beliefs. When all is said and done, your beliefs are yours. Belief isn't a choice, it's built on convincing evidence and faith to bridge the gaps. There is no good or bad here, just the process of belief.

3) Whether your family is hurt is sort of up to your family. No one here can tell you. It might be good for you and good for them to really talk things over.

4) Holidays are only as special or as holy as you believe they are. If you don't believe the religious history of the holidays, you can still celebrate them for fun, or for tradition. Or you might not want to bother, it's up to you.

As to what you should do, that's a hard one. My advice is to start doing some research... find out what you really, actually believe. Read up on what knowledgeable people in your religion have said, read up on the history. Find out where politics have changed things, and why. Find out what's changed when the holy books are translated from earlier languages. Find out how things differ from other major religions. See if other major religions are more similar to your beliefs, or if they're more convincing to you. See if an atheistic view helps you deal with the world around you, if you are convinced there are no gods. If not, look for evidence, ask questions of people with opinions or thoughts on religion until you can't think of any more, and see what conclusions you can reach about what you believe in. It won't be a quick process, it may not be one you ever finish, but you have a chance to find a religion or set of beliefs that suits you the best.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I've had many doubts concerning my faith over the years, so I kind of know what you're going through. I was luckier though because I did not come from a religious family.

I honestly think that if Christianity isn't doing it for you, then let it go. You may hurt your family a bit but they're your family and hopefully they're more intent on your happiness than what the neighbors will think. You also don't even have to tell them if you're not ready to yet (or ever). This will mean your silently swallowing Christian rhetoric at the dinner table (no pun intended) but there are many other excellent things about Christmas and Easter aside from the religious aspect of it all.

Changing your religion does NOT mean that you're a bad person. In fact, I think that seeking your own spiritual path makes you a stronger and more well-rounded person than just unhappily continuing along in the path your family started you on.

Keep in mind, too, that there are many different varieites of Christianity. The one that your family is currently involved in may not be the one for you, but there may be another out there. Please don't misunderstand me. I am NOT saying that Christianity is the true path or the only path. I'm just saying that there are a LOT of different kinds of Christians. It took me a very long while to come to the realization that I am a Christian because I never liked any of the Christian faiths I tried. I've finally settled on using Merriam-Webster's online dictionary's definition of Christian which is "one who professes a belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ." That is to say, I believe in love, tolerance, charity, liberty and justice for ALL. I'm agnostic so I neither believe nor disbelieve that there is a God. I don't believe in a hell and I neither believe nor disbelieve in a heaven. I believe that there was probably a guy named Jesus living a long while ago and he was probably crucified. I don't believe in his resurection. But all of that is besides the point. What is important in being Christian is LOVE and following the teachings of Christ. Not demanding others do the same. Not believing in all of the different accounts of sin and judging others and thinking you're better than others. Just love others as often as you can, tolerate their differences when you can't celebrate them. give charity to whomever needs it (which is everyone), realize that everyone deserves liberty and justice. Anyhow, now I no longer belong to any particular Christian faith but instead practice my own version of Christianity, living the way I think Jesus would have us live.

You're obviously unhappy about this situation. It is my belief that regardless of whether or not there is a God, etc. we humans were meant to be happy most of the time. Fix your life to your liking. Nobody but you has to deal with the inner consequences of struggling along in a faith that wasn't meant for you.

If you have any other questions, need clarification or want further advice, feel free to contact me. Best of luck to you!

~ FR

Answer 4

This is fairly common. I had lots of doubts about my faith. Eventually, I've abandoned Christianity due to doubts and discomfort and simply clashing of beliefs, and have moved on to another religion entirely, that is better suited to who I am and what I believe. It doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean you've hurt your family. Some families, who are especially dogmatic, may be antagonistic to a change of faith, but it's THEIR issue, not yours. You can't help what you don't feel, what you don't believe. Don't worry about it. And there's a specialness to Easter and Christmas that goes beyond religion - a special time to be with family, just a good time to feast, rejoice in life, etc. Whatever.

Don't feel bad for what you can't control. And don't feel under any pressure to believe or disbelieve anything. Follow your heart. Follow your own beliefs.

Bhudda said (paraphrasing here): Believe only what you see for yourself and judge to be true.

I'm glad you respect religion. I do, too, even though I disagree with many things various religions have. Explore other faiths. See if something else rings a bell with you. Don't be afraid to learn - even if you decide that various faiths don't suit you, knowledge is always excellent to have on hand.

Answer 5

Quit going to the Church you are going to. Forget your friends whom you think are shallow and spiritually empty. Neglect the pastor who leads your church and don't deal with him any more. Give yourself a brake from every thing you have learned from that church, and also forget about that ideology you say does not provide the answers of your heart.

After a while, you should begin to realize how awkwardly you have been taught, and how false were the teaching of your pastor. Now you are about to begin a new life, a life that should give you freedom and peace of mind which you didn't find before. Spend some times in lonely prayer to God. Be careful from the Devil who may put in your mind bad ideas as he may have done before God is so Good. Now start reading the Bible by your self and every time you read ask God to grant you the wisdom and the understanding of His word. The answers to all your questions are inside you and you will soon start to understand yourself and become a free person. Don't attempt to change your religion; only change your church and the pastor of that church. Very soon you will find what has been impeding you from receiving the Joy and the peace of the Holy Spirit. May the peace of Christ leads you to the right path and provides you with all the answers. God bless you.

Answer 6

I'm Pagan, but my husband's family and mine are Christian.

I'd say go to Christmas and Easter celebrations and look at it as a time to be with family, friends, eat great food, and get presents! For religious celebration, we celebrate Yule and Ostara, which are the solar holidays that the Christians used to create Christmas and Easter when trying to convert Pagans back in the day.

You're not a bad person if you change your religion. The type of person you are is what matters. Be true to yourself.

Answer 7

Christma and halloween arnt christain festivles, it is all matter of faith. Why do we think their is a god? becuse we are told there is. Youhave been told since childhood about this supernatural father figure , however you have not been offered an iota of prood. If you were born in Saudi arabia you would be a muslim , in new dehli a hindu. Religion is simply a cultural habit. Be good or you will go to hell , conviently not offering an iota of proof , but you expected to live your entire life to a set of rules. Mind you better off than beinga muslim having to wear a table cloth and prey 5 times aday.
In short you have just matured and seen the whole thing is a fraud, pray to god ask for a burning bush or a shooting star, if you get no answer then just live your life logical and moraly but not religiously
As Kerry Packer said when brought back to life
I have some good news and bad news
first the bad news , ther is no god no heaven
teh good news there is no hell

Answer 8

You are obviously a very spiritual person. I never felt the need
for prayer either, in that God knows what we need before we
ask. What good is it to get all worked up on holidays, and be a
hypocrite the rest of the year?
Remember, that religion is the practical application of spiritual
things in our daily life. Associating with positive friends. Reading
inspirational, and motivational material. Prayer I've learned is important. if you want to talk to someone, you have to pick up the phone. Prayer keeps a connection open to God.
Religion unfortunately gets bogged down with mans wisdom. You have to believe this, you have to do that. That is what you are questioning. That's a good sign. The Bible says not to conform to others. But don't throw your religion away completely.

Answer 9

sounds like your really confused on the church you attend and religon as a whole.
Many churches today are loosing members because there is almost a dead worship atmosphere in them.
Dont judge all christians by those you may know. perhaps they are very shallow in their beliefs and not really following the Gospel.

suggest for you maybe look into visiting some other congregations and get involved somewhat and perhaps your life and your feelings will change. You just might come out of it with a better feeling and feel that you are a good person after all.

Answer 10

If you can't believe in the religion you were taught growing up, then you should find a religion that you can believe in. Or, if you don't feel a connection with any, perhaps you would feel comfortable as an atheist. Your religion should fit you and your beliefs, not the other way around (as so many people will try to make you think).

Good luck finding something to fit you. :)