Male jokes !!! oldies but goldies....?

Question

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it.

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Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a
woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will probably never be able to support you.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say
something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."


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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up
the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in
first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a
woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Answer 1

cuties
can you give me the 10 points please

Answer 2

Hey do you mind??

I've got a bald head and a beer gut? Well 2 out of 3's not bad!
Keep 'em coming!

Answer 3

Why did the woman cross the road?

I don't know. But why isn't she in the kitchen? And where did she get those shoes?

Answer 4

ha

Answer 5

Those are funny, but why are you hating on us?
Your a girl!

Answer 6

lol yes they're goodies ♥

Answer 7

good collection

Answer 8

LOL. Yep. LOL.

Answer 9

Great......