ok so my mother-in-law wanted to pay me 100 dollars for making her a website. I told her I did not want the money, and please don't worry about it. (I wanted to be a blessing to her - as she has been to us) well she sent the money anyway... well i really don't want to be paid for this(plus i feel bad bc it has taken me forever and a day to do it... and plus it's just a silly geocites website!)
... so anyway I was wondering would it be rude if i sent the money back with a letter explaining that "I would really like to be a blessing, but thank you"
What do ya'll think?
2006-08-25 19:31:23 · 43 answers · asked by tedandalissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Send me the money and I'll mull it over for a bit. I'll let you know what I decide to do with it before the next fiscal year.
2006-08-25 19:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by GVD 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This could be tricky- While you have already let her know that you do not want her money, she went ahead and sent it. While for some people it may be a means of controlling, I don't think this is the case here. You have already declined once, and she went ahead and paid you anyways. You said that you've been getting the site together slowly though- so taking the money may put pressure on you to finish it, and quickly, I can see that. So, tehr are several options open to you- take it back to her, and gracefully decline again- However, this may upset her, seeing as she feels like paying you. You could keep it, but then you have your own concious to deal with- you've already declined, and now you accept, I could see how that would be uncomfortable as well. The best thing I could think of to do would be to talk it over with her, and figure something out- maybe if she insists on paying you, see if she would pay you less? Just an idea, I don't know how it will work.
2006-08-25 19:50:23 · answer #2 · answered by aht12086 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is in good financial shape, don't send it back. Being a blessing doesn't necessarily mean doing work for free. If she has enough money, don't worry about it -- sending it back would then probably be rude.
If you really want to "not" take the money, set it aside. Next time you get together with her for a day, take her to a spa or beauty salon or something like that, then to a nice lunch or dinner. When she thanks you, thank her back and then let her know that she was technically the one who paid for it with the $100. It's a classy way to "sort of" not accept a gift while not insulting the giver. Plus you'll get a nice meal out of it.
2006-08-25 19:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by Non-Stop Movie Watcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sweet daughter you are! I think since you are such a blessing to her she wants to show you how much she loves you by sending you a little blessing too. I wish my boys would refuse money when I sent it! LOL! I think if you really feel bad taking the money she will understand. After all, mom understands everything! Tell her because you love and appreciate all she has done for you that you want to do something for her too! Tell her it is your way of saying thanks for being such a great mom!
2006-08-25 20:14:53 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would be rude to return the money.
While I applaud your generous impulse and I understand that you built the website to repay kindness that she has shown you, but it would still be wrong to ignore her wishes. She obviously feels that you deserve to be paid for your time and effort and wants to compensate you. If you ignore this and send it back she may be insulted. If you are really uncomfortable with keeping the money, perhaps you use some of it to buy something for her as a compromise. Good luck with your decision.
2006-08-25 19:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kami 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would be rude, if you had already said no but she sent it anyway, if you feel bad do something for her with it take her somewhere or send her flowers or a gift. There is some people who show there feeling with money, and you hurt her feelings if you send it back.
2006-08-25 19:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) She probably knows it doesn't cost that much to make a website, but she's giving you the money as more of a gift than as someone being paid...Just go along with that.
Or
2) you can be totally honest about how easy it is to make a website and it shouldn't cost anything.
It would be rude just to send the money back, just spend sometime expaining the world of the web to her.
2006-08-25 19:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would be rude to send the money back. You don't want to cause trouble and she is just being nice. Take the money and do something nice for yourself. She is blessing you back.
2006-08-25 19:57:40 · answer #8 · answered by Apple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a kind person, so it's easy to see your dilemma. I think that you need to stretch yourself just a bit farther and accept the money with gratitude. She wants to feel good about you helping her. By paying you, she is accomplishing this. I would ask your husband and come to a decision with him, though, because how she would accept the returned money can only be judged by people that know her.
2006-08-25 19:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by -superkid- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may just hurt her feelings and yes she may even find it as rude. I would just accept the money even though u don't want too and send a nice thank you note, or gift from the money she sent you lol.
2006-08-25 19:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be rude since she sent you the money for a service she wanted done. Older don't want to get something for nothing. She sent it out of respect for your knowledge. She may be offended if you send it back.
2006-08-25 19:36:47 · answer #11 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋