any good marital jokes that r really really goooooood??????

Question

im soooo frickin bored i wanna kill myself.jk.

Answer 1

After a hard day in the restaurant the a Korean couple went up to their condo above their restaurant. The husband drew a bath for his honey. Bath her, washed her hair. Put a nice silk wrap on her. When they got to the bed she asked "what is this all about?" He replied, "You do not know? It is our 1 year anniversary". She gasped. "It is?" she answered. He nodded. "My goodness" she replied, "Has it been that long? I was so busy cooking I did not even remember. I did not get you a gift. What can I do?" The husband said, "well you can give me a 69" "A 69? that is all?", she answered back? "sure, why not?" He said back. "It is just so strange", she then said. "But if you want a 69, you get a 69" As a smile came to her hubby's face she bolted from the bed and out of the condo. He was stunned. After a few minutes and she had not returned he went looking for her. He found her on the way back with a big plate of dumplings and pork. He asked, "Who is that for? I wanted a 69" She said "What? You do not even know our menu after one year running this restaurant? A 69 is dumpling and pork! That IS what you said you wanted, right?"

Answer 2

OK, there's three types of sex in a marriage.
First the newly weds are fuc_ing like crazy all day everyday.
After a few years, they are taking quicky fu_ks before the kids get in bed with them.
And after ten years, the only fuc_ing they have is when they pass each other each morning on the way to the bathroom both shooting each other the bird.
This joke is better in person and is pretty old too. I hope I didn't make you want off yourself even sooner now. ha ha

Answer 3

What do women think of when they are having sex?
What color should I paint the ceiling.
Actually it was a racial joke rather that a marital joke, but I changed it because I didn't want to get any hate e-mails.

Answer 4

Hope you like it:

This young newlywed, who just moved in, was talking to her neighbor in the front yard. The new groom came home, kissed his new bride and handed her one dozen red roses. The neighbor said "that is so sweet!". The new bride replied: "yea, now, I gotta go inside, go upstairs to the bedroom, take off my clothes, get on the bed and open my legs". The neighbor asked "why...don't you have a vase?"

...is that good for 10 points??

Answer 5

A man wanted to marry a girl who was toatly ignorant about sex. So he used to show his private part to girl and ask "what is Yhis" if the girl answaered correctly he used to disqualify her. One girl said this is a mouse. So he married her .On honey moon he he explained to her what itis. The girl was surprised and said - This is -----?. So small.all I have seen are atlest 9inches. !!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A man married a village girl and took her on Switzerland.After their first intercourse he told her This is the reason I have spent lakhs. The girl tells him " So much expense I used to do it for free in our farm.!!!!

Answer 6

True story. My wife was caught in a discussion about sex with a co-worker, (a player). Knowing she is married he commented to her that having sex under the table was exciting. She came home and we were getting in a romantic mode and she popped the question, "Let's try it under the kitchen table, I heard it's exciting."
How's that story?

Answer 7

i dont know whats a martial joke but ill say this joke ok here goes i had a parrot once its name was charlie he could talk he would say hi how are u, good 2 see ya, whats your name, it could count but it couldnt say feed me SO IT DIED!! the joke is kinda stupid but its funny i like it

Answer 8

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

Because they want to.

Answer 9

Sure....I take my wife everywhere--she still comes home.

Answer 10

What do you think is good?