Tell me your best joke.?

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Person A, B and C died and went to Heaven. There, they met God who said, "You can do whatever you want here, but don't touch this pink cloud," while pointing to a little pink puff of smoke. One day Person B and C saw A with an ugly old hag. B and C asked A, "Why are with this b*tch?" to which A replied, "I touched the pink cloud." The next day, A and now saw B with an old hag. The two asked B the same question to which B replied with the same answer as A. The next day A and B saw C with a HOT blonde with BIG breasts. A and B said, "What the f*ck, how come you get a hottie?" to which the blonde answered, "I touched the pink cloud."

Note: It may take you awhile to get the joke

Answer 3

Ok here's a joke that is not corny that those others do:

In New York, there where two friends named How and Why, One day How and Why went to an expensive restaurant for lunch. The restaurant has very delicious food but its not popular becoz the supervisor there is very serious, mean, cruel and rude and doesn't smile at all and is strict to waiters and cooks and even diners. But because the food was so delicious many rich customers dine there. After How and Why finished eating, they found out that they forgot their wallets at their apartment. Their apartment is far from the restaurant and its takes about 2 hours by walking and they can't ride a taxi home either becoz they don't have money. Knowing that they can't reason out with the hot-headed supervisor How and Why got a plan that might just work. Their food cost $ 500 according to the bill. Why stayed at his seat to reason out with the waiters to wait and distract them, while How made the move. How approached a group of rich boys, How challenged them by making a secret deal with the rich boys that he can make the serious supervisor not just smile but even laugh and will also wet him. The rich boys are surprised about it and laughed but eventually agreed "Your On!". How and the rich boys agreed to give How $800 if he can make the serious supervisor laugh but if he can't he is obliged to pay their food. The rich boys even ordered more food, believing that How can't do it and they'll gonna have free food for the day. How then approached the hot headed supervisor and also made a secret deal out of him. The deal is to put water from How's mouth and spit it to a bottle of wine while the serious supervisor is holding it without spilling any water in the supervisor's clothes and he will do it 4 feet apart. If How can do it he and Why are entitled for free food, if not How is obliged to pay the supervisor $200 as a deal. The hot-headed supervisor even threatened How that he and Why won't see the sunrise tomorrow if they broke the deal. And so It was commenced, the rich boys laugh like hell seeing the serious supervisor holding a bottle of wine and How is gonna spit water to him. As How started spitting water to the bottle, the rich boys were shocked and in awe to see the hot-headed supervisor laugh like an insane man as water from How's mouth hits to his clothes and even to his face (Its really impossible to put water from ur mouth to a bottle without spilling any at far distance). As it ended the hot-headed supervisor is still laughing out loud to the surprised of all people there especially the rich boys. He eventually became serious again and reminded How of the deal. How then approached the still in shocked rich boys and gets his secret money deal of $800. He told the rich boys "Its just on How you do it!". He secretly paid the hot-headed supervisor his $200 as a deal, paid their $500 meal and used the remaining $100 to go home and get their wallet. As How and Why left, the rich boys thought of doing what How and Why did (with no deal involved in it)...Guess what happened? Yup thats it! None of them ever saw tomorrow again!

Answer 4

A man sitting at the bar leans over to the man next to him and said "I bet you I can jump out that window, fly around the building and back in through the same window". The man next to him laughed and said "You're on". So the man got up, walked to the window, jumped out, flew around the building, and came back in the same window. The man was amazed. He said "How did you do that". The man said "When I jump out the window, a gust of wind catches me, blows me around the building and back into the same window. It's easy, you try it". So, the man feeling confident and drunk said "You're on". He walked up to the window and jumped out. Unfortunately, he fell to the ground with a loud splat. The bartender looks at the man sitting at the bar and said "You are an a**hole when you get drunk, Superman". HEEHEE.

Answer 5

Abraham linckin was a good old man he jumped out the window with his **** in his and he said exuse me ladies im doing my duty pull down your pants and give me some b**ty hen i die Barrie me and hang my balls from a cherry tree and when their ripe take a bite and tell me if their dinomite

Answer 6

Three men die in a car accident. At the pearly gates they were all asked the same question...Have you ever cheated on your wife?
The first man replies, "Never, I love my wife and would never hurt her! I have never even looked at another woman."
St. Peter gives him the keys to a BMW to drive around heaven in.
The second man replies, "Well, there was this one time in Vegas, and the time in Reno, and the time in Chicago, but that's it. And I felt really bad about it."
St. Peter gives him the keys to a nice little Impala to drive around heaven with.
The third man, looking down at his shoes says, "Okay, I admit it. I cheated on my wife about 63 times all with different women, but whose counting?"
St. Peter scolds the man and gives him a beat up Chevette to drive.
At a stop light in heaven, the first two men see the third man sitting in his car crying hysterrically. "Why are you crying? Your car isn't that bad, really!"
"It's not the car," he replied "I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard!"

Answer 7

One of the Marx brothers was seriously ill in bed. The doctor saw him looking lasciviously at the young pretty nurse.
Doctor said: Don't even think about it, to do that would be lethal.
Marx replied: Well, if she dies, she dies.

Answer 8

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out his pants. The bartender says, "Hey pirate, did you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The Pirate says, "Arrrrr, it’s driving me nuts."

George Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him. "You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers. The blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!" The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps.
"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!"
The last to arrive is George Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?" Bush looks bewildered, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?" Saint Peter sighs, "Come on in, George."

A string walked into a bar and asked for a drink
The bartender pointed to a sign behind the bar that read
"We don't serve strings".
The string asked for a drink and the bartender said" can't you read, we don't serve strings."
Another string who had been watching this all transpire walked up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bartender said "Didn't you just hear me tell your friend we don't serve strings? Ain't you a string ? To which the string replied "No, I'm a fraid knot."

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old
hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever
having
seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How
about
that! Here's a picture of my daddy."

He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife,
didn't
like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before
leaving
for the fields, he would go there and look at it. His wife began to get
suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband
left,
she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the
glass,
she fumed, "So that's the ugly ***** he's runnin' around with."

Get You With The Nine

A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.
She screams, ''Nein! Nein!'' So two guys walk away.

Blonde's Salon
A blonde opened a hair salon next to a graveyard and named it ''Curl Up and Dye.''


Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99



Blonde NASA Engineer


NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm.... Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs - and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"





She's So Blonde


She's so blonde she spent an hour looking at a can of orange juice because it sai



Blonde...Bananas


Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.

Answer 9

My friends one night as I was sleeping, snuck in my room and hung a huge mirror above me, when I awoke I saw myself on the ceiling and screemed!!!!

Answer 10

Yo mamma so stupid she tried to steal a free sample.