Is my behavior OK?

Question

I'm 14 and for about a year I've been extremely resentful of my parents. They were too harsh on me cause I was somewhat sidetracked then. Today I'm the girl they've ever wanted. Excellent grades (even when I was sidetracked), don't get in trouble, like to take part in volunteering activities.They say they are proud of me and teachers praise them for their good job raising me, which makes me mad cause it's my merit, not theirs. Their only complaint is my resentful behavior. I talk with them only when necessary, act like a stranger. Avoid activities with them and only join them when a problem would arise. They tried to change my behavior, tried to talk with me, even suggested counseling. They say they were harsh cause they love me but I dont agree Now they decided to change my resentful behavior, dont want to accept it any more. They should respec me, I dont do anything wrong and though distant I'm polite Why dont they leave me alone, until I can move? They cant force me to love them

Answer 1

respect is a two way street. if you want respect, then give it. who cares if they are getting credit they don't deserve? your self respect is something they can never take from you.

Answer 2

I am 22 with 2 kids and married. When I was your age my parents had no idea what I was doing. They didn't like my friends or my boyfriends. I resented them for it. My dad was the worst. I smoked and did pot but my grades were awesome! I just made poor decisions outside of school. My husband changed all that. We got married my senior year of high school and are still together no matter what anybody else said. Sometimes I still resent my parents but I realized that's a wasted effort on my part. I'm ok no more pot I have my kids and the love of my life so everything is perfectly ok who cares what they think of how I got here! I know that I did mostly on my own and I'm a better person for what happened to me back then.

Answer 3

My only question is WHY do you resent them? What got you sidetracked? It sounds like your parents are just trying to help.

I really do understand, my parents were abusive and neglectful... I don't talk to my own mother. The last time I spoke with my mom was a few hours before I was going into labor and she was trying to make it all about her. This was time for me and my baby. The point I am trying to make is, I miss my mom. She was nice when I was younger or maybe it was me seeing the world as an innocent child. But I wish my mom cared about me and my new family. It gets lonely at times not being able to share my new life and mildstones with her.

Give your parents a fair chance, you are going through a time of a lot of changes and I am sure they still see you as their little girl.

Answer 4

I think you are being very rude and selfish. You are not that smart that you brought all your skills and abilities from somewhere. You are what you are just because of your parents. It is arrogance to think that you can make it on your own. You need to listen to the parents' advice because they will only think the best for you. You need to respect them, what ever their weaknesses and faults are. There is blessing in this. They long your company, times together with you. They love you. They have their own problems but still they would love and care for you. Think, when you grow up, marry and have children, if your child behaves with you like this, how would you feel? The Bible says, "Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life.""(Ephesians 6:1-3)

Answer 5

It's tough... they do love you but they need to learn to respect you at the same time...

They need to learn that they can't have their cake and eat it too.

I understand you very well - it's tough work to be "the perfect kid" and they think that it doesn't require effort... it does. If you spend all your energy meeting their expectations then you have very little energy left over to be sweet and loving at the end of the day on top of it all...

They need to give you a break - you're only 14!!!

Take some time to be a kid and if they don't like it then tough tooties!
I had a very similar situation and even though I love my parents and they did so much for me, I grew up way too fast and I feel like I never had a childhood... it sucks.

It doesn't feel good to have a mid-life crisis at age 28. (You can tell them I said that.)

Answer 6

The answer is love my dear. Let your heart love back and that will change your relationship. Stop thinking about yourself and think of others first. Your parents are not dictating or bothering you, they are parents after all and care for you. When you start thinking that you have achieved all and are the owner of your destiny, you will be very disappointed.

Your parents is and will always be there for you. Appreciate them for you will not be able to do so if they are not there any more. Then it will be too late, like for me!

Answer 7

is ur behavior ok to u? if u want to b a resentful person than ok. forgiving them wont heal the broken trust, and doesnt mean u have to open up to them and tell them everything. but it will make u feel a whoel lot better

Answer 8

Everyone wants to be loved unconditionally--sounds like you resent your parents because you only feel their love when you perform up to their standards.

Try to find it in your heart to forgive them. There is no such thing as a perfect parent OR a perfect child. Try to accept their imperfections and pray they will accept yours as well--and pray to God. He is the only one I know who loves unconditionally at all times.

You sound like a great kid!!!!

Answer 9

you're still young...your behaviour is ok...but sometimes you just have to be considerate...all of us have some time to get emotional, sensitive and so on...so it's normal to have a family like that especially parents...they can't let you go because you're still young to them...you don't know much about the world but they do (at least that's what they thought)...and if you're really think moving out is a good idea, you should!

i was once like you..and i couldn't move out...i don't want them to be hurt just because i want to move out so here i am, still the daughter that they wanted me to be...even if i'm not who i really am...

So, do what you want...show them who you are...and don't regret your life like i do...

Answer 10

not..u must respect ur parent.