Avoiding Future problems?

Question

This is time number two putting this question up and I was wondering if I could get some polite answers and opinions.
I see posts on here like “How to get a six year old to clean their room” or “How to get my eighteen month off the bottle” and I’m not trying to criticize these parents but couldn’t these be avoided in the earlier stages? Like the title says…am I just paranoid for doing things a certain way with my son to make it so I don’t have to deal with these issues later on? My son is six months and I let him watch me clean and I keep a clean house (even though sometimes I don’t feel like doing it) so that he understands even at an early age that’s what I expect. I’ve had a routine since he was born so he knows exactly what time he is expected to go to bed. I’m currently getting him off the bottle so it won’t be an issue when he really can acknowledge it. I figure that’s my responsibility and I find that my parenting technique is very much looking forward to what kind of a person he will be so these problems don’t happen to me. So are these steps I’m taking going to help me achieve what I want or not? And for the parent who have had these problems (other than potty training) do you feel there is something you could have done differently to avoid them? Again, I’m not trying to offend anyone and I do know everyone parents differently but I was just wondering…

Answer 1

I think what you are doing is great and you should keep up the good work by your daily routines. Second of all, babies really need off the bottle when they begin to walk. Carrying a bottle while walking really isn't appropriate. Now when my boy was 4 months old, he crawled to the garbage can and threw away his binki himself. We thought it was a joke, bought new ones, and he did it again. He decided what he wanted and what he didn't. 9 months old, he learned to walk, I got him off the bottle by 1 years of age because he didn't need formula anymore. He did just fine with it and was no problem. The hardest part I ever went through is teaching him not to crap in his pants. He liked to pee in the toilet but I could never get him to poop. I think he was about 3 1/2 when he finally did both! Now hes 6 and think hes 18! I hope this helps. You're doing a great job but remember to not rush these things though cause you need your baby and don't want him growing up too fast cause then you'll miss it!!!!

Answer 2

I get what you're saying and I somewhat agree, but I also think that you might be expecting too much form your son at too early an age. Kids are unpredictable and parenting is hard. No matter what you invest in them there is always a chance that they may go astray anyway.

I stopped the bottle at 13 months and I feel that I did my son a favor. I know people whose 5 year olds still use a pacifier and 3 or 4 year olds still drink a bottle. I don't want to offend anyone either, but I don't think that is neccessary and it is obvious that the parents are being manipulated. Kids are masters at it.

So to answer your question, I think you have certain expectations that you want your son to live up to and that is OK, because kids thrive on routine and they like to know at an early age what is expected of them...just don't be too hard on him.

Answer 3

Well, I think it is wonderful that you are trying to set positive examples for your baby and are thinking about what the future holds, but guess what? When your kid is 6 he isn't gonna want to clean his room, and when he is 4 he is gonna say something embarrassing in front of a stranger. When he is 9 he is going to be rude to you at least a few times, and when he is a teenager he is still going to have an average level of angst.

Kids are not psychologically wired to act like little adults. It is in fact true that the things you do with your baby now will teach his brain how to make certain connections, but he is still a kid. Besides the fact, that even though I have taken a ton of psychology classes and was raised in a good home none of this means my 5 year old came with instructions. I don't know that anyone's kid ever did. Don't judge others because they don't quite know what to do in some situations, parenting is hard work!

Answer 4

I think that you have the right idea about trying to look forward and how your actions now will effect that. That's what I've mainly tried to do with my son, who's 8. So far, so good...but I've still got the teen years to come through yet. The only thing we can do as parents is to try to do our best at the time but we really never know if it works or not until afterwards. Also remember that works for one child may not work for another, you need to be flexible and be willing to try something different when you see that something isn't working....and this I've learned from being a teacher of children. Good luck and good parenting!

Answer 5

Your son is only 6 months old, he hasn't really had the time to challenge you yet - and at some point he will challenge you no matter what you do. Kids learn to stand up for themselves by first defying their parents - and they need to learn to stand up for themselves. How we as parents deal with their defiance is what will teach them how it is appropriate to behave as adults.

Seeing you clean a room won't teach your son how to clean, it will teach him Mommy cleans - getting him to do it later will be the trick. Yes, you can help him clean - teach him a clean up song, make it a game - but he won't always want to co-operate.

Sounds like you are at home, which will certainly make it easier for you to set the environment for your son and in many ways teach him. However, first children are easy, you have a one on one situation. Subsequent children provide the real challenge. How to you keep a two year old really happy while you are nursing a newborn? What do you do about sibling rivalry? etc. etc. Life happens.

At six months old, most babies are pretty pliable - they just want to be with you. That changes as they get older and become more independent and start making decisions on things.

So go ahead an look to the future, just don't expect your child to always take the path you lay before him.

Answer 6

I think that you're doing a great job with your son. Teaching him responsibility from an early age is a great idea. My mother raised my that way- as soon as I was old enough (2yrs) i helped fold laundry (socks and towels) and I always had to clean up after myself, even when i was really young. Teaching kids responsibility from a really young age is an excellent idea because if you don't expect anything from them when they're little, by the time they get to an age when you want them to start helping out around the house, they're already used to having everything done for them and they won't want to help out. Just don't expect too much too soon.

My neighbour once told my mom that she did a great job raising my sister and i because he felt that if they were to drop off the face of the earth the next day (i was 13 my sister was 11) we would be responsible enough to take care of ourselves. When I have kids, that's the goal that i'm going to set for them- self- sufficient as early as possible

Answer 7

I understand what you're trying to but you are expecting too much too soon. For example, a six month old is too young to wean off a bottle. Most parents wait till a year, when they can easily use a sippy cup.

Watching you clean is a good start, I would suggest you make cleaning into a game when your baby is a little older.

Don't expect your child to be perfect, and deal with problems as they appear.

Answer 8

Everyone is different so people think ahead others take things as they happen! I dont think either way is wrong and people have the right to be different! I give you respect for tring to think ahead but to others that might take the joy out of life... I mean how dull is it to do the same stuff the same way at the same time all the the time every day! You kid might see you do this but dont mean he will you never know... making a kid do this all there life and not letting the take a break could cause them to not want to do it as an adult! But if it works for you go for it!

Answer 9

some people really don't have time to take care of their kids, which makes you think about why they had them. They keep thinking they can keep waiting until the "perfect" time to teach their kid, when the parent has time and the kid is "old" enough. Most kids can grasp concepts earlier then we credit, but the parents procrastinate teaching until it is to late to teach them well. Alot of parents work all day, so they have no time to teach their child, like I said before.

Answer 10

Children need a schedule and parents that are willing to set the right example for them.