does my husband love all of me?

Question

When we first met he knew that i was a Christain and I knew he was not. We made a family and got married. I know we did it backwards. After 5 years he still does not believe even though I have talked about my faith many times.
I have always thought my husband must see Christ though me and how I live.
When I asked does he see this he said not at all. I started to cry not only because he is missing a wonderfull relationship with god but maybe because he does not love all of me. I mean how can he if he does not see Christ in me. Or just maybe I dont have enough of Christ in me.
I am hurting please help me.

Answer 1

Now hold on - why on earth were you supposed to convert him?

Really - why? Your choice of religion gives you a relationship with God, and his gives him the drive to makes things right.

Each make our own choices - and there never was one set of beliefs that are right for everyone.

P.S. Of course he loves all of you! (Unless he is wondering 'why have I been unable to convert my wife to common sense').

HOWEVER, it DOES sound like YOU don't love all of him - like the atheist part of him is something you plain don't love.

There, I said it. It may not be the most comfortable answer but it is the truth.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, just because your husband doesn't love your religion, doesn't mean he doesn't love YOU.

I love my mother very, very much, but I am an atheist/agnostic, and she is a very dedicated Southern Baptist. I see her faith, but that is not enough to sway me from the logic that led me away from Christianity in the first place four years ago.

You have to understand that this doesn't mean you have somehow failed your husband. When I was a Christian I used to feel the same way you did - i.e., I wanted people to see Christ through my example. But people can only come to religion through their own mind and heart - not by others' intervention.

If you truly love your husband, and you truly love your God, then you have nothing to worry about. Your God will be just in dealing with your husband, if that is what you believe; and if you need comfort, turn to 1 Corinthians 7:12-14:

"If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy."

Answer 3

First of all you have erase the mental lock that loving a person DOES NOT equate to changing his/her belief to yours. This might happen to some couples but it does not mean that it would happen to everyone!

I know it's frustrating that your closest one does not share the same love you do for Christ, but you have to keep in mind that, God works his way mysteriously. He cannot see your love for Christ NOW, but it does not mean it won't happen in the future. Respect his belief and let God take care of it. If you already tried your best then just let it be, let God does his miracle, he's greater than you and you can never predict what's going to happen. If you can, that's no miracle. I hope you get what I mean.

Answer 4

Perhaps there is a general lack of understanding "LOVE" for him so he doesn't see a problem. Agape love in particular. I don't believe however that he doesn't love all of you. It is not that you don't have enough Christ showing inside of you precious one. Unfortunately yours is the plight resulting from the warning of not to be unequally yolked. Even so...the Lord can still make that impact. I know that it is difficult, but remain steadfast in your faith and the way you live your life. Eventually something will be absorbed by him. Be patient and continue to pray.

Answer 5

I am an atheist. My husband is not. When we went through many of the issues you are talking about, we both did tons of reading about religion. He is no longer a Christian, but he does believe in God. I am still a very firm atheist. We are able to gently tease each other about our different beliefs. He also spoke with a counselor, not associated with the church, about religion. If you are interested, I can tell you the names of some of the books we have both read. We both love each other deeply, but I will never believe in God, and he probably always will. Best wishes to you both.

Please ignore the answer from Phil, a couple down from this one. He's obviously perfect. (Please note sarcasm.)

Answer 6

You can't force religion on anyone, and if you truly love your husband, you shouldn't try to change his beliefs. If you believe in Christ, then know that you have enough Christ in you. You shouldn't take so much to heart, you knew what he was like before you were together. It's not fair to your husband to make him feel like he should have to believe. If you are a true Christian, then you love him for who he is??

Answer 7

Well, let's check out the Christ meter on you.


You had kids before you got married... Sounds like Lust to me.

You automatically assume that your influence would be enough to convert him. Tack Pride onto the list.


Ok, that's all I can see in your paragraph. Two deadly sins out of one situation. You might want to rethink your relationship with Christ.

This doesn't even begin to get into the intrusion you're forcing on him. You knew he wasn't a Christian from the beginning and you're whining about how he won't change. You never said anything that showed he expected you to change. Take a lesson from him there.

Answer 8

To be brutally honest - get over it!!! Your husband loves you for who you are not for your God or your relationship with God. It is his right as a human to have his own personal beliefs and if he doesnt want to believe that is up to him. Give him the respect he deserves as so far he has respected your relationship with a God.

Answer 9

my husband was a wiccan when i met him, yet before i met him he knew Christ. we married in 93 and he came back to Christ 2002. be patient, pray for him, but don't push him. here is an example also my own parents are no Christian, but in my eyes they live a christ live. does that reflect from him, that although he doesn't call himself a christian, does he walk like a christian? focus on the good he does and praise him like you would a child of god. show him love. it may take weeks or years, but if you show him the path. read your bible around him, but don't push what you have learned on him. have christian friends around him, but make sure they too dint push him. give him and yourself time. prayer is the strongest thing. one person told me to take holy anointing oil on a piece of cloth and place it between his side of the bed, but before you do pray over it as a blessing for god to reach him.

Answer 10

I have been through this exact same thing..let me see if I can help you...

First of all..don't ask him if he can see Christ in you..he has hate in his heart and if he does see it, he sure wont tell you that he does..ok...remember..satan knows how to get to you.
Live your life in front of him like Jesus said too..read your bible infront of him, not in an arogant way, but humble..pray..go to church...and no matter what...keep on keeping on.
The Word tells us that the husband can be saved through the wife..do you believe that?!..stand on the promise that God has said..and do not back down to satan's attacks.

I went through a time when my husband was full of hate towards me and God..because of me serving God..so I know how you feel..but like I said..God is the answer..and one day,(like what happened here)..he will cry out to God...the spirit of division and hate will leave and you will have a new husband.
Hang on sis...hang on to God's unchanging hand.