Reccently, my six-teen year old brother ran away. Well he was gone, I found out some... disturbing... things. Things my mother didn't even know. They were not against hte law or anything... do you think he should be punished, or not? I'm just courious. Mom seems not to know what to do with him.
2006-08-25 16:21:31 · 17 answers · asked by I think... 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Okay, so any ways he won't do it again?
2006-08-25 16:26:06 · update #1
Kick him out? I'm KIDDING! Actually my sister use to run away alot when we were younger. She had some really bad outside influences and opted to listen to them instead of my parents. I should warn you that the minute "I'll never do it again", comes out his mouth, he's already planning his escape route. Unless you find out why he ran away in the first place. That's when and only when it's going to change. Grounding didn't work, extra chores didn't work, there was one thing, but I think my parents were at their witts end and didn't know what to do. My mother literally hand cuffed herself to my sister for two days. She even went to school with my sister (with school permission of course). I can honestly say my sister never ran away after that, but I'm not sure it was the handcuffs. I think under pressure and humiliation, my sister cracked and the drama story unfolded. It turned out to be the stupidest reason to run away, but once my parents knew, they worked on it with her and it never happened again.
2006-08-25 16:31:24 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Punishment won't work. There is a reason he ran away and you need to find the core problem.
Have you talked to him about it? Seems there could be an underlying cause and if your mum found that stuff don't leave it too long.
He obviously has problems and right now is the best time to solve them before he does something really silly.
Make sure he knows how much he is loved and create an atmosphere where he feels safe talking about whatever is on his mind.
2006-08-25 23:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by ***** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
some time spent at a shelter or soup kitchen... if this is a habit with the brother or if there are other infractions he has done, talking to a teen councler or minister may help mom get some ideas and help...... there may be a way to take brother before a judge and have a court order for time served in one of the places mentioned above.. a troubled teen is a pain in the rear and more so the heart.... they get to a certain age and our options get thin and few and far between...... now is the time for mom to push the issue... I made the mistake of not doing so, and I now have a 28 yr old that is out of my reach to help..... beg mom to look into her options for son/brother..... there is help if you can just get to talk to the right person.. tell her NOT to give up and to keep searching for the help that I know is there some where....... God bless
2006-08-25 23:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I worked in juvenile court for meny years and 16 is the age when most young guys, if they are going to, do rebel. But 16 is not the age that you start teaching a child . Why did he run away, is there a bigger problem underlying the situation than running away? Also at 16 guys get very serious about girls and is that the motivation for the running away. At 16 my son wanted to get married and told me he would kill himself if I didn't let him, we were driving at the time and I headed for the nearest phsyc ward and checked him in. He was let out in a week but it proved to him that he was important to me, That threats can indicate more than you realize and gave him a little reality check. I do think your brother needs to know that running away does not fix the problems. That running away could set a presidency for his actions in the future and that facing the trouble now will make a man of him and give him the courage to deal with bigger issues in the future.
2006-08-25 23:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by Kdid49 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is at that age where telling him what ont to do will make him want to do it more. The only suggestion i have is if he has a license or is plannning on gettting one your paretns should delay that, because i car would make it way easier to get away. It is important that he learns from his mistakes because you cannot stop him now, he is sixteen and will do what he wants and plus you can stop anyone from running away. Be supportive and encouraging so he wants to be at home, he will have to learn life lessons on his own, if he starts to do illegal things it is improtatn that the cops are notified because that is the best way for him to learn his lesson. But if he is just makeing stupid commmon mistakes that teanagesrs make he hopefullly will grow out of it, most importantly never loose your faith in him because his family is the one he will run back to once he gets out into the real world
2006-08-25 23:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by rachel k 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i tell ya what i did to my kid I called the cops and reported her as a runaway. and punished her from phone and going any place. She then has a huge hissy and We ended up in a heated argument where the gave me a black eye.. I then called the police again and pressed charges on her. She is still on probation until September. And I HAVE NOT had any other problems out of her in 9 months. Your mom has got to let him know their is consequences for every thing he does. If not he will know she will do nothing and he will then do as he wishes. Trust me it was a hard thing to do and i am the one bringing her where she has to go because of all of this but one things for sure after I beat her azz w/ a belt and had her locked up she doesn't raise her had to me. And when I speak and say yes or no she listens to me. Kids r a lot like Dogs if they pee on the floor and you do nothing they will pee in the same spot over and over again.... His problems will just get bigger and bigger and once he is 17 or 18 he will be locked up and she wont be able to do nothing for him.... He needs a stiff punishment to show him she will not allow his behavior not this time or ever!
2006-08-25 23:31:50 · answer #6 · answered by killinshel 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Punishing him won't help. The family, including you, needs counseling.
2006-08-25 23:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
let your mother decide, he probably ran away to get away from you his over bearing sister. He would not be that way if you would be a little more supportive instead of being such an as-s wipe. back off bthic.
2006-08-25 23:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by zqx357 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes there should be some kind of punishment for that.he needs to learn how to be responiable to at least call home when he is not going to be there,maybe grounding him for a week or so to the house with no friends allowed to come over and take every thing out of his room to let him think what he did was wrong........
2006-08-25 23:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
counseling. that's always the worst punishment to them...but it really is some of the best medicine.
2006-08-25 23:28:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋