My daughter is afraid to go to first grade, she doesn't want to be away from us for that long a period of time

Question

I cannot find anything to calm her down about this. Anyone else experience this?; What did you do?

Answer 1

This is one of the best arguments for pre-school and kindergarten, so children can gradually build up to being away from home for a major portion of their day.
Talk to her teacher. This won't be the first time the teacher has experienced this (unless it is a brand new teacher, and let's hope you aren't that unlucky). Often, primary grade teachers will let parents stay at the back of the room for the first few days if the child needs it. Once the youngster is reassured (and a big part of her fear is likely that she doesn't know what to expect. School is completely outside of her range of knowledge at this point) she will gradually make friends and feel more comfortable, at which time, mom simply slips away. But do be there, waiting on the school steps, to pick her up and take her home each day. She needs reaffirmation that you will still be there. And on the way home, ask her about her day, talk about the things she did, the kids she met, what happened in the playground at recess etc. If she comes home for lunch, you can be there to meet her, walk her home and walk her back to school again.
Keep a positive attitude and be sure to comment on how 'grown up' she is now!
Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Of course she is afraid - it's a scary thing. Remember the teacher will be very used to this kind of situation & will have many techniques and activities that will help your daughter adjust.

For now, the best thing you can do is play down the "time away" and talk about the exciting things.

If your daughter is nervous of the other kids, discuss or even "do" some craft activities she might be able to do alone. If she likes painting, talk about how many colors the teacher will have. If she like stories - how many stories there will be and so on.

If she is nervous about the teacher, talk about the environment instead.

Remind your daughter that she is "big" now and that you are proud of her.

Its a difficult time for her, and unfortunately probably her only first experience of "having to face her fears". Not easy - but she will get over it. She will go to school, and she will have good days and bad days like everyone else, AND she will forget how nervous she was!

Also - she will always have you to come home to.

Answer 3

She just has to do it, if you take her to school you just need to leave her at the door and go, it'll make it harder on both of you if you hang around. She needs to learn that school is where she needs to be and that she has to be a big girl, becasue you cannot be there with her. If this is her first time away for you then it will be hard for her, but she'll soon adjust.

I used to teach and take it from me, nine times out of ten once the parent leaves the child if fine, it's when the parent sticks around that the child contunies to be upset. The teachers are trained to help them feel comfortable, if this is her first time away from you, you might mention that when you meet the teacher or when you register so that way they can have a extra teacher in there to help her adjust.

This is just one small step in her life and I'm sure she'll get through it fine..before you know it she'll be coming home telling you all the fun stuff she did in class.

Good luck, and for you while she's in class find other mom's and go out for coffee or go home and relax, I know it'll be hard to watch them go. Just have plenty of tissues.

Another thing that may help her feel safe; you might have to get the teacher's permission; to have a item from home that helps her feel safe, she can have it out for say five minutes then it needs to go in her bag, then when ever she feels sad she can get it out, but only for short peroids of time. Discuss this with your childs teacher let her know all your concerns.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

One of my granddaughters had this problem with kindergarten. My daughter gave her one of her special rings to wear on the first day. She told her that she could look at the ring and know that her mother loved her and would be there when she came home from school. Then that first morning, she took a picture of her little girl all dressed up and ready to leave, tears on her cheeks, and that ring on her finger. That evening she took another picture when her child got home. There was a huge smile on her face, no tears and no problems after that.

Answer 5

You brought back the worst memory I have from school, thanks. Anyway, I remember it like it was yesterday. I think no one told me that I would be coming home that day. Hey, I was a child!! If you only tell her she is going to learn and coming home when she is done, I think everything will be fine. You could offer her a surprise if she will be a "big girl", take her somewhere after school that she likes. I think the first day is the hardest. Good luck and tell your daughter that I felt the same way and I made it!!

Answer 6

congratulations! your daughter is very normal. That's "separation anxiety"

Some schools understand and anticipate that kind of dilemma and they are allowing parents to stay with their child during classes then eventually child adapt with the scenario.

Talk to the school guidance plan out and make a program together

Answer 7

Well she obviously wants someone familiar at school with her. She needs something to distract her from your family, like a friend. Starting first grade can be frightening and it's easier to go through it with a friend who's going through the same thing. Make a friend with another first grade mom and invite her and her daughter to dinner or to the park. She'll get someone to go through being a first grader with and you'll have someone to go through being a first grade mom with.

Answer 8

Take her to school while telling her all the good things about school and that you will see her when she gets home. Then take her to school......this happens to thousands of children every year and this year your daughter will be one of them.

It will be hard for both of you but in a week or two you both will be fine.

Answer 9

I believe this is normal for that age. Talk to her teacher so she or he can be aware of this. When she comes home each day, ask her what she did that was fun. Try to make it as positive as possible. It will take time but she will come around.

Answer 10

plan a party for her and let her help and invite the whole class if they want to come for the day then that way she will play with most of the kids and make ties and when school rolls around can I go to school I want to play with Billly and Timmy, and Keren we are playing kickball. give her a drive to goto school it might be enough to replace the fear of not having you there.