Home schooling?

Question

I have a little girl she will be 3 and a little boy he will be 2 when the time comes my husband and i plan to home school them.His family is totally against it and jumps down his throat about it all the time! What can i do to make them shut up and accept the fact that we are going to do it and support our decision?

Answer 1

I am homeschooled, think about why it is better.
1 the kids:
I am ready for school the same time my public school friends are and with 2 extra hours of sleep! no busride! and I get out early because I sit down and get taught or read and I don't get up untill I have finished everything. the only break I get is lunch.I usually get finished close to noon while others have 2/3 more hours and a busride AND they can't do their homework inside the school so the WHOLE day is ruined. better get to bed early so you can get up!
2 education:
First the teacher (you) can personally see how they are doing, help them where they struggle, and you always know what's going on at school! (no drug problems there). And you are buying school grade books which you can make even harder to finish than public school homework and tests if you need to.
Why on earth would you send a kid there as a learning slave? I went there for 2 years of school and I love being homeschooled MUCH better... but nothing get's by my mother so if I am doing something really hard, she will get me to learn better until I can get a better grade. like a tutor i guess, everyday too.

If you are worried about them making friends, GO TO A GOOD CHURCH or other social activities like homeshool groups. It is true that I have some social inabilities as a homeschooled person but the benefits FAR outweigh that and besides, I have alot of friends and some homeschooled who are much more social than me despite homeshooling.
It's probably because the churches I used to go to had no kids my age.

Answer 2

Don't ever expect them to support your decision. Accept that you all see things differently. Some people never, ever come around, not even after years of homeschooling and seeing how well the kids are doing.

That's the first step.

The second step is to really listen to their objections without feeling the need to defend yourself. The primary conflict is less about the homeschooling and more about being heard. You want to be heard, they want to be heard. Paraphrase what they say if possible in terms of their feelings.

"How can you do this to them? They're not going to have any friends!"

"So, you're really concerned that they won't make any friends. I can understand how that thought would be upsetting."

or

"You're no teacher. The kids will be so behind. They'll never go to college."

"You're worried that they're not going to have a very good education."

Don't explain your side, don't defend yourself. Just reiterate what they're saying to you. What this does is removes their defense mechanism because they're anticipating a rebuttal from you, even if it's just in a bad mood. By getting to the heart of their feelings and expressing that, they know they are really being heard. For more ideas on how to communicate this way, check out http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com or the book Nonviolent Communication. If they actually ask truly inquisitive questions, and not condemning questions, answer them as specifically as you can. "I've read a lot about this and this is what we plan to do:..."

Let's say that even that doesn't help bring the tension down. That doesn't mean that you should let yourself be disrespected that way. Set clear lines. "We know that you don't approve of this idea. We don't need to hear it anymore because it's not going to change our minds. You don't have to like what we're doing but we don't want to hear about it. If you're going to keep hassling us about it, we're leaving."

This actually is not how NVC would have you do it. Rosenberg provides a better way of doing this in his book, but I haven't made my way through the book yet and don't have a copy at the moment! I'd recommend getting the book and seeing how he recommends expressing your desires. The other part, about paraphrasing, is in so many books I understand that well and use it fairly often. It really can work with just about anybody. Another idea would be to express it in terms of a problem.

"Dh and I have made a decision that we know you don't approve of. Our problem is that when we are attacked for our choice, we are hurt that we are not trusted and respected and we don't enjoy being around those who attack us, even if they're family. Since we're not changing our minds about the homeschooling, what can be done about this?"

Hope this helps. Family can be the trickiest of all to deal with for homeschooling.

Answer 3

Their concerns are based on what the media has shown and the rumors they have heard. The only thing that MAY change their minds (the only thing that changed MY in-laws minds) will be to actually SEE the results of homeschooling. I have a sister-in-law who is a teacher and every time we see her (they live about 1200 miles away), I feel like she is quizzing my kids and judging them. The rest of the family has seen that they are bright kids who do well in social situations (like family gatherings - again 1200 miles away, so these are people they don't see very often). We also test annually (ITBS) and share the results (like a report card) with our in-laws. This is usually enough to keep them quiet (when they see my boys in the 90th %-ile in almost every subject).

Some people will never accept homeschooling as a viable option, so be prepared to disagree with them for years to come. As another poster has already commented, they have raised their children, now it's your turn to do what YOU think is best for YOUR (not their) children.

Also, as another poster pointed out, HSLDA has some great research on the results of homeschooling (getting into the best colleges, starting successful businesses before graduating high school, etc.) Also, for a less homeschool-biased focus, check out ERIC - it's a US Dept. Of Ed clearinghouse of education research and information (you can search specifically for homeschool articles).

If it's your choice to homeschool, don't back down. You know what's best for your children - go for it! Look for a support group in your area where you can connect with "veteran" (anything more than one year) homeschoolers who can encourage you and guide you through the difficult times.

Answer 4

You can thank them for their concern. Period. End of discussion. Change the subject.
These are YOUR children. They had children, and had the option of how they were to be raised and schooled. Now it is your turn.
There's nothing you can do right now to make them shut up and accept the fact you are going to do it and support your decision. And nothing positive will happen until you are actually home schooling the children and they see that, by golly, they have learned to read and write, and gee whiz, they can add, subtract, divide and multiply.
You've got three years before you begin home schooling your little girl, so why not just let the subject lapse?
PS: Stats show that home schooled kids can be real achievers because of the one-on-one attention they get and because they aren't held down to wait for other kids to catch up.
Make sure they get lots of out-of-home activities too, to fill in the social end of it. Dance classes, music classes, hockey or skating lessons, whatever is available and whatever you can afford, just to broaden their experience and let them be with other children their age.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Give them solid reasons that homeschooling is better for kids. If you go to any homeschool info sites, it lists a ton of ways proving that homeschooling is better for children of any age. Some of them are: It's proven that children that are homeschooled fare better academically than children in conventional public or private schools, homeschooled children do better socially, because they don't have all the input from their "peers" and the children grow closer to their parents by being with them all the time, and the children can work at their own pace and not be left behind or slowed down by set curriculums of public schools...

Answer 6

First of all, don't let anyone send you on a guilt trip because your children aren't "socialized". There are plenty (and better)places for children to learn social skills other than a traditional school setting. Think about it... do you know any 30 year olds who only socialize with other 30 year olds? When your children step into the "real" world,the ability to interact with people of all ages will put them head and shoulders above their public-schooled peers.
After you put the "s" word to rest, then you'll be able to tell others that you appreciate their "concern", but you know what's best for your own children.

Answer 7

You really don't need any training to homeschool. I should know for I was homeschooled until I was a freshman. Find a tutor for Anything that you struggle with (Math, English, Etc.), There are many co-ops so you can give your kids a social life. I used Saxon math, which is one of the best. I jumped a grade in math once I entered high school (though I had a tutor).

Answer 8

First,to all that think that parents have to have a college degree to home school,THEY DON"T!My parents don't,so there!Second,to all who think that home school kids NEVER have social lives,WE DO! home school kids hang out with all sorts of kids in home school groups,and they also hang out with,um,those people who love them and raise them,um,oh yea,PARENTS!And many people think that just because home school kids don't have 5000 friends makes us unsocial,SO not true,some kids only need 1 friend,and they are completely happy.OK,my anger has ended,moving on to the actual question,My parents also kind of went through the same thing.My moms aunt was the superintendent of a school,so of course she was totaling against it,but my parents just ignored her,and after a while,she shut up about it.Always remember,homeschooling is the way to go,and your kids will thank you down the road,and will be SUPER thankful for not being in public school,and YOU will be thankful that you don't have to worry about one of your kids coming home from high school,telling you that there pregnant,or an alcoholic.

Answer 9

My mother-in-law isn't that thrilled that I homeschool her grandchildren. But I feel that homeschooling is best for my children. Not everyone will agree with you. Try not to argue your case because it won't help. Live by example and maybe in the long run she will come around to understanding. If you start questioning your decision take time to do a little research, start with looking up Dr. Kent Hovind (I have found him encouraging). Stick to your decision.

Answer 10

I am 18, and I was homeschooled up to grade 5. I would recommend homeschooling on one condition...ensure that your children are involved in social activities with peers. I moved around a lot and my family was rather unconventional, and I didn't get the social experiences that others my age had, so by the time I entered public school I had difficulties adjusting to the social aspects. I think that home schooling is great because you are able to learn academically without the burden of dealing with the pressures and problems associated with many school situations.