What is your definition of forgiveness?

Question

To me, this is one of the most difficult concepts for a person to understand. What is forgiveness and how do you forgive another person?

Answer 1

forgiveness is releasing a person from the debt they owe you, saying, i acknowledge what you've done to me, but i choose to release you from that debt to me, you owe me nothing, and it's as if it never were, i no longer hold that against you.

it does not take two people, i can forgive someone without them knowing it. what does it matter to me if they acknowledge my forgiveness or not? just like people can forgive a deceased parent for the way they treated them as a kid, it's not like they can't forgive them because they didn't get that person's permission. [in response to polko or whoever said that]

Answer 2

Forgiveness is definitely a misunderstood concept. To forgive is to work through and let go of the anger, hate, and malice that you hold against another person who has wronged you. However, a person who has wronged you still has to be held accountable. Forgive and forget doesn't work terribly well in most cases, because the perpetrator will never learn to modify their behavior. Holding someone accountable is a loving act also, I would contend. Since holding someone accountable for their actions gives them the opportunity to atone for what they have done as well as learn what their character flaws are so that they can change.

Answer 3

When a person says, " I'll forgive you, but I can't forget ", what he's actually saying is, " I'm big enough to overlook the injury, but I'll never forgive it ". He's not forgiving at all.
So what is forgetful forgiveness? Well, it's not erasing the past; it's not a psychological shock treatment that blots out memory. It's actually a healing action on the wound that cures the infection and takes out the pain. When the incident comes to mind, we don't live it over again. We don't let memory reopen the wound and reinfect us. What's past is past; it can't be undone. But it's effect on us can be fantastically changed by forgiveness. Then and only then are we freed to learn huge lessons we would never have learned without the injury.
Forgiveness has wonderful healing powers. It restores eyesight; we suddenly see ourselves much more clearly. A person who cannot forgive must be blind to his own faults, like he's never done anything that needed to be forgiven.
When we really see ourselves, we notice things like people have been forgiving us, overlooking our faults and we've hardly noticed.
Unforgiveness distorts our vision, everything goes out of focus. Faults are magnified out of proportion, while our good points are blurred. But once we forgive our vision returns, our perspective returns.
Forgiveness is total acceptance. This includes acceptance of the injury and of the suffering and also, acceptance of the one who caused the suffering. To forgive is to give oneself, asking nothing in return. It is to love where to hate would be the natural response. It pardons the one who deserves punishment. It frees him from the burden of guilt.
This is the way God forgives. Anyone who comes to Him honestly will receive complete unreserved forgiveness and acceptance. Here is His promise " I will remember their sins no more " ( Hebrews 8:12). When God forgives, He forgets!

Answer 4

If you believe that we all make mistakes and bad choices then you can forgive people for what they do to you. Forgiving someone for what they did means that you understand the reasons why they may have done it and hold no hard feelings and do not wish revenge.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't feel pain or that it is ok for them to hurt you again. It simply means understanding.

Sometimes it takes a while to get to a point where you can forgive because you have to work through the pain and the emotions that cloud your ability to understand.

I do my best to forgive because it is more fulfilling to love and help than to hate and hurt.

Answer 5

Everyone forgives differently some can totally forgive hug and love the one who have hurt them

But I feel what you forgiving makes a difference.
It is easy to forgive a friend who lied to you, a mate who cheats, one who steals from you.

But there are things I can not forgive...the shooting of a loved one in cold blood, the horrible things a child molester does to an Innocent child, a rapist, terrorist (911)
these things I cant forgive and if God is the loving God I have been brought up knowing he will understand my feelings and why I feel them
If not then to hell I am dammed but then I ask what kind of loving God would is this I have believed in

Answer 6

Oh.. why didn't you pick an easier word.. It is so simple and yet so difficult.. In general... Forgiveness is the mental process of ceasing to feel resentment or anger against another person for a perceived offence, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the feelings of the person who forgives, or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, it may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of apology or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive.

Answer 7

Forgiveness is the act of letting go of all anger, hatred, rage, sorrow, grief, guilt and any other negative emotion that was caused by the person or action that you need to forgive. Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves first for getting involved with a person or in a situatin that caused us so much harm before we can forgive the other person.

The act of forgiveness gets easier when we forgive ourselves and learn to love ourselves and others unconditionally. When you love yourself and others unconditionally, you accept yourself and them completely, understanding that we all make mistakes, we all hurt and we all need to be forgiven.

Answer 8

To release someone of whatever we perceive to be their role or responsibility in some negative happening, incident, situation, chain of events, negative emotions, etc. Along with that, to let the matter go...to let it unfold as it may without regard to who caused what and, especially, without thinking in terms of someone being at fault. I've known this is my definition of forgiveness for a while now. I've recently added an important detail to it: When possible, it's good if that forgiveness can be expressed directly to the people we have felt are involved, BUT whenever that's not possible or not advisable then we can do it individually via our thoughts and feelings of good will and release. Either way works wonders. If having direct communication or contact with those involved is a thought we can't bear for any reason, then it's perfectly reasonable to release them and the situation within our own mind, silently and unbeknownst to others. Once the release is in place, we need to remind ourselves of it periodically. This doesn't go without saying, as the mind will have become habituated over long periods of time to blaming those we've felt are the "guilty" parties. It's ok to have to remind oneself mutliple times over long periods of time and even to have to struggle with the decision of whether to forgive and afterwards of having forgiven. In fact, very often, if not most times, that struggle and multiple reminders are the only way to achieve forgiveness. Last but by no means least, let's not forget to forgive ourselves for our own roles in any situations and also for having placed blame on others and ourselves, to no one's benefit.

Answer 9

Well, islamically, there are kinda of like two parts to it:
The Divine forgiveness/ Forgiveness from God and then there is the Pre-Divine Forgiveness that comes before the other.

When you are forgiven by god, the wrong-doing is completely erase, okay? But before that can happen,

(if you hurt animals, they are totally at your mercy and they can't forgive you unless you plead to God with utter sincerity)

The person to whom you did the wrong to better be alive so that you can go tell them you are sorry with all your heart and soul, you ask their forgiveness first, because only then will God forgive you. Why should God forgive someone if it is He who was wronged but his creation and your fellow human being

Answer 10

the act of excusing a mistake or offense; to release (a person) from liability for an offense.

To forgive another person you have to decide every time you think of their actions that they are excused, not hold it against them. If you think they should suffer or pay then they are not really being forgiven. I also believe you can't forgive something that the "offender" hasn't asked forgiveness for- because they aren't repentant of their behavior and there is still the possibility of it being repeated.