how can tell me how i can stop our 12yr and 10 yrs kids from fighting!?

Question

my husband and I have 2 kids they fight every day! can you help us with this problem!polly

Answer 1

What are they fighting about? I have a sister and we used to fight about everything. There really is not much you can do I don't think. They need to learn how to work it out themselves. Just give them the tools and know how to work it out between them. If the get physcial then I would break them up but if not let them work it out. Good Luck

Answer 2

Separate them. Even their schools if possible. They are almost teens. They're headed for trouble if they are still fighting so much at their ages. Examine carefully your own role in the feuding. Do they fight for your attention? Do you referee? Where's your husband when they're fighting? Do they get their jollies by making you upset? Why are you lumping them together when most twelve year olds would rather get syphilis than spend time with ten year olds? Do they have friends of their own? They sound immature. Do you still do their laundry and tell them when to go to bed and such? You shouldn't be. Not at their ages. Do they have part-time jobs? They should at their ages. Remember. Your job as a parent is to have your kids self-sufficient by the time they are eighteen. They should be able to hold down an entire household by then, including grocery shopping, banking, bill paying, managing their health and doctor's appointments, etc. Don't wait until after graduation. It's too late then. Spend more time with them individually. Give them more responsibilities. Physically challenge their bodies everyday with chores, sports, and a rigorous pace. I strongly recommend that you banish TV from your home, but, if you cannot give it up, at least cut viewing time to the bare knuckles and when your kids do watch TV, they need to race around the block or something like that to get watch a half an hour of TV. Get them active enough so that THEY drop from exhaustion every night, not you and your husband. Time to have the REAL sex talk, too. There could be sexuality issues occuring at their ages that might be making them cranky. Just random thoughts. It's all hindsight, though, because, when my two fought at that age I just screamed at them until they cowered. (Just joking.) Good luck.

Answer 3

I have two kids myself. A boy that is 15 and a girl 11 and they fight like crazy. Most of the time its over stupid little petty stuff. But I have found out that if someone else bothers one of my kids... the other one is there and ready to kill that person. Its just something that brothers and sisters do. I guess I should say its something that all siblings do. They are together almost all the time and they both upset the other's day to day activities just by being there. The younger one wants to be there with the other one all the time unless he/she is with their friends. The older one hardly ever wants the younger one there; especially when their friends are around. Just try to find something for them to do away from each other. You have to find something for both of them such as karate or swimming....maybe something at the local YMCA or one of them will be jealous of what the other is able to do. As a parent you always have to make sure everything is equal...as in if you do something for one you have to do something for the other or others. That's just the way it works. Good luck. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Nope, it's going to happen. Keep them busy, do not allow physical fighting at all. Don't always try and referee. If it gets too loud, separate them. Insist that they respect each other's things. No borrowing without asking, etc. Set rules for video game times and such. If they do get physical or throw and break things - all bets are off and punishment is in order. Whatever your family decides is punishment. Grounding, no videos, no tv or whatever. They are siblings, they are going to fight. Try and have an adult around and not let them be home alone together for any length of time.

Answer 5

Take away the things they like best bikes, computer, video games etc. You can also take privileges away, such as allowances, make bedtime earlier, going to see friends, something special you were going to purchase for them.

After grounding them from these things for an appropriate amount of time, then return these things with the conditions that they can have them back only if they stop fighting. Let them know, you will take them again if they continue to fight. For this to work you have to be consistent.

Answer 6

yes make them each stand in the corner for 30 mins trust me it works, then if they continue to fight take away something they like, dont let them out of the living room not bedroom and have the tv on off have them listening to jazz music all day plus clean up the entire house and they fight while they clean put them in the corner and forget that they are there like 2 hrs there legs will be so tired its funny have them to hold there arms up or squat for a long lenght of time with there hands on top of there heads and if this dont work BEAT THERE A**

Answer 7

Yes, just tell them that if they fight any more that you are going to give them both a spanking and then do it! Soon they will learn that it isn't any fun to fight because they both end up getting hurt and they will stop it. As it is written...

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Answer 8

Let them fight. They'll never work out their problems if you and your husband interfere. If it's become physical you have to intervene of course. But you've got to realize they learned that behavior from you. It time to get some education about non-violent conflict resolution and anger management. And don't forget to give them unconditional love. None of this "kicked out of the family" or "off to military school" business.

This book may help:

"Emotional Resilience" by David Viscott.

Answer 9

please you know the answer to that question for real. you the momma right do what you know just be careful and don't hurt the girls because now days we can go to jail on stuff like this when all the kids need is a goooooood azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whopping like back in the day when we was coming up. put it on both of them then they will stop fighting each other and learn to appreciate on another. that's just my opinion.

Answer 10

First of all you must be strict with the no hitting policy,no one likes a kid that hit and they wont be invited to alot of parties! Let tell you want worked for me and alot of my friends. Create a chart with both of thier names on it . Every time someone does something good put a star next to their name.After ten star they get a gift . If they do something bad (like example hit ) take a star away.