2006-08-25 14:34:11 · 10 answers · asked by xXxShortyYxXx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my daughter is 15 years old turning 16 in less than a month! im her mother and i love her to bits iv told her she can go home but i dont want to lose her! im stuck!
2006-08-25 17:38:13 · update #1
It generally takes 6 months to settle in a new place, finding new fav haunts, meeting new friends, getting used to the surroundings. Remind her England will always be there. Its not going anywhere. And it will still be there in a years time.
If school there is still to start after summer break that will be stressful of course. Tell her you are both going to set an 'evaluation period' for the new place. Give her an out, say, allow for you both to take a trip back in say 9 months time or around a really important event that may be happening back home to ease the transition.
Assure her that the new place is on trial. Make it into something fun and dont allow her make up her mind just yet, encourage her to explore the new place taking notes..
She could start a journal, things that are different, things that are the same, things she likes, are malls better than the High St at home, why why not? Things you can do in the US that are different to the UK (theres bound to be sme interesting different rules like drinking ages etc) turn it into a 6 month project that she could present to you or your husband at the end of the 'Evaluation Period'. If she has a strong case and you can see shes really thought about it then you can have an open discussion at that time.
2006-08-25 14:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by Harry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not have to be as hard as it probably is right now. You both need to talk together some more about it. Come to a meeting of minds, somehow. How old is she? Is she old enough to respect and honor you and your opinion? Does she listen to you because she knows you see and know things that she probably doesn't? Is she very filled up with herself such that there is no place within her for your words to strike home? You will reach, if you are not very careful, where if you hound her too much about this that she will just tune it out. Your words will then be falling on death ears. So first and foremost is to obtain and keep her attention, and to do that you must show her love and respect, also. Once that channel of caring is established between the two of you, maybe some communication and understanding can happen as well. You probably want her to remain in the United States for definite reasons, and it would not be too great a stretch of the imagination to ask her to at least hear you out. But if you pursue this course, that means you must be equally respectful and loving and hear her tell you why she "wants to go home," as you put it. One last thing, there are some elements to this situation which did not show up in your question above, so please forgive me if my answer necessarily omits these finer points of distinction, some of which might have made it a bit easier to give you a resounding okay on letting her go. You did not state her age. That would have helped establish perspective. You did not state if you were her father or mother. That, too, would have established a kind of temperament or feeling surrounding the situation and how one would guide you toward the right decision. Missing these details, the very best I can come up with is - you need to both establish greater capacity to listen to one another and then state your cases to each other one more time, each side listening closely, and then the two of you may both see the right answer emerge, all by itself. And that is the answer you should go with. Sent to you with love from Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old.)
2006-08-25 14:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let her go, she's got to live her own life and if u stop her she is gonna end up hating ur guts. I moved to the USA 4 years ago with my parents and i am moving back to the UK in 3 weeks, sure my mum is sad and she's gonna miss me, but the whole point in having kids is that someday you got to let them out in to the world to find out what kind of person they are gonna be. If u raised her right she will be fine, but if u make her stay she will leave anyway and u might never see her again. Think of the reasons u don't want her to go, if they are selfish then u are doing the wrong thing.
2006-08-25 15:42:46 · answer #3 · answered by bobatemydog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of if you love someone let them go if it comes back its meant to be .I know this is hard because i would die if my daughter left me. Your taking her from the place she calls home. Don't be selfish , she'll come back. You shouldn't have let her go in the first place.
2006-08-25 15:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a real parent and tell her what to do unless she's over 18 then you're screwed.
2006-08-25 14:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle118 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you love her and that she can go home when shes older. Or go with her???
HOPE ALL GOES WELL!
2006-08-25 14:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by cutie pie! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on her age, if she is under 18, you are the adult and she must do as you say.
2006-08-25 14:45:16 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really hate your daughter that much, that you do not want her to come home?
2006-08-25 16:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by J L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean??? Where's home?? her mom or dads??? or grandparents??
2006-08-25 14:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by Shaila F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok
2006-08-25 14:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋