I am 22 yr old female in a relationship w a 29 year old man. We've known each other and dated unofficially (without title) for almost 10 months. We've officially been dating 2 months now. I'm pretty sure he loves me too, but he doesn't say "I love you." He talks more to me in 'baby talk' and 'sweet talk' than anything. He comes to my place or I go to his every night, we go to lunch most days of the week... I feel like we've been 'in love' for about 1.5 months now and I really want to know if he feels the same. I AM NOT comfortable being the first person in the relationship to say anything of this magnitude. I've hinted at it and given openings by saying like, "I love how you..." or "I love XYZ about you."
How can I get him to say it, assuming he loves me too? We talk about being together for the years ahead and I think he's just scared to say it first. I love him, and want him to know, but I need to know that he loves me too before I can allow myself to feel so vulnerable. Thanks
2006-08-25 14:16:36 · 11 answers · asked by anonymouswoman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Check out some love poetry and write it down.. Leave it in a place that he might see it and pick it up to read it. That's what I did with my boyfriend of two years when I didn't know how to come out and say that I loved him. It actually worked pretty good because after he found out that my love for him was true, he felt more comfortable opening up to me after that. Of course I'd write him a letter every now and then, but that's more personal. Always speak the words from your heart so you won't regret it all later. One day that person you love could be taken from you, and having to hold onto the guilt of not telling them how you felt can be totally wrecking.
You should know that if you're in a monogamous relationship, he's made a committment to you. Just because he doesn't talk about his feelings all the time, or cry in front of you, or write you love letters or songs, know that he's set aside a special place in his heart for you.
2006-08-25 14:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are about 20 miles past vulnerable; but the good news is on the road of life u turns are permitted!
The words I love you don't mean a hill of beans. Most men are not above saying it just to get a woman in bed. If this man is spending as much time with you as you say and treating you honorably and with kindness and you are enjoying the relationship that should be enough. Life is not a harlequin romance.
If you think you can hand people a script to say what you want to hear you have a lot yet to learn. Be happy with what you have.
2006-08-25 14:51:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing you should know is, communication is the BEST thing in a relationship. Without it you will not last because no relationship can last when all you have is doubt and uncertainty. If you love him, then you should tell him and ask him how he feels. If he's talking about the future then it's a pretty good sign that he loves you. But just let him know that hearing it makes you feel great! And my guess is he's waiting for you to tell him that you love him too.
Maybe you both need to talk and just tell each other how much you love each other. At least for the very first time.
2006-08-25 14:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he may be like you and be just too shy to make the first move. So I guess if you really want to know what he feels, you need to tell him how you honestly feel about him. Tell him how much he means to you, and that you love him more than anything. He probably just needs you to be the first to say it, and once he hears it from you, than he will be comfortable with it. However, if he doesnt say "I love you" back, then perhaps he just doesn't. But yes, definitly try to make the first move.
2006-08-25 14:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i was in the same position as you, i was going out with a girl, we were together all the time, we loved ourselfs, and we both were saying: I Love You! and we were kissing, and before 2 months she dumped me....(the last time i saw her or talk with her, or get an SMS from her ....was on 14.07.2006 and from that day all my connections with her are closed....not by my will...by her...) So...say him that u love him...
2006-08-25 14:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by X36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it scared the crap out of me when i first told my girlfriend i loved her. but we just got back from a weekend trip to my parents house so she could meet them, and we were laying on my bed and talking so i waited until we were both quite for a while and then i said it all sweet and crap then put my finger on her lips and told her not to say anything. then gave her a kiss. a little while into the love making that followed she said but *my name here* what if i want to say something. i still told her no, but she didn't listen.
2006-08-25 14:25:52 · answer #6 · answered by joe_smo_red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down what is the rush on the word love, when he is ready and if he loves you there will be a time for him to tell you in the mean time just enjoy what you have.
2006-08-25 14:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by angel_64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard, if he says it first he breaks the rules guys cant say it first. My g/f used to say i adore u every time instead and it just made me wish she said i loved u to the point that i took the chance and broke the rules. worked out pretty good now we say i love u all the time
2006-08-25 14:20:45 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
say it because life is too short, if he loves u too u have longer to be together but if he doesnt u have wasted less time with the one ur really meant for
2006-08-25 14:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is trying to get you to be the first to say it and you're almost there. If you feel it say it.
2006-08-25 14:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by harrison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋