I work with a guy but he lives in another state. We have been flirting a little and one day we talked for 3 hours straight. He told me I was very very pretty, I had a lot going for me and I could go out w/any guy I want. I told him I was not at that place in my life and that I needed to take time to be by myself and figure out why my old relationship didn't work. We talked for about 1/2 after I made that statement and he was very friendly. On Thursday I was in town and he was suppose to come out with a a group of us but when I called he said it was a little late and he had work to do, maybe next time you are in town! I really like and am very attracted to him but I know I am not ready to have a relationship just yet. I really wanted to see him, even though it is probably better I didn't because I am so attracted to him. I'm confused and hurt. Do you think he was interested and now he doesn't even want to go out as friends?
2006-08-25 13:06:15 · 14 answers · asked by shar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So what should I do when I see him again because I know I will.
2006-08-25 13:12:42 · update #1
I disagree with the first answer. How do you know he didn't have to work? Give the poor guy a benefit of a doubt. You are talking to us about it when it should be him that you are talking about. Explain to him that you like him and are attracted to him and you would love to at least be his friend for now & remind him that because of your past relationship you are not ready to jump right back into another. If he cares anything about you at all he will want your friendship and give it time to see what happens. Where does it say that you have to have it all or nothing? Because two people are attracted doesn't mean they have to get right into a relationship. Friendship allows you to build a stable basis for more. Talk to him. Communication....that's what it is all about. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-25 13:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy are you a bag of mixed signals, no wonder this guy is confused and angry. You flirt with him, then you invite him out with your friends so he can't make any moves on you (remember also he's traveled from another state), and you also tell him you need to be by yourself! What's he supposed to make of that? He's pissed off at you for being so hot and cold.
And this line sounds straight out of John Kerry:
"it is probably better [I don't see him] because I am so attracted to him". Talk about mixed up!
If you want a boyfriend then flirt and date. If you don't then stay away from guys who may want a committed relationship.
2006-08-25 13:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by Answers1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to think about is this guy may be a dream come true! He sounds like he heard you when you talked. "not at that point in my life" is what you said. That is what he is giving you, some space. Let him know you like him. Why on earth do women do that to us guys? Say no when you mean yes? Sounds to me like you have the cold feet and he was looking for you for sometime. Call him and just ask him if he would like to date but take it slow? If you let him go, you will never know if you found Mr. Right. I see that question on here all the time. "Why can't I find the right guy?" My answer to that would be when he's right in front of you, your not looking.
2006-08-25 13:17:11 · answer #3 · answered by jkcmr2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOOOOOOOO even tho im not a guy.. LOL ... one time of rejection due to him bein buzy and you're calling it quits?!?! maybe... 2 or 3 times.. then yeah i'd say stop bugging him.. and plus girl, there's no such thing as you're nto READY for a relationship... .. in fact you're already IN a relationship with him. .after talking for hours... and so on. anyhow .. i dont have much to say but .. when you really feel attracted to someone... nothin can really stop a person. imma let the guys finish the rest of this.
as for mr. i'd rather... or miss i'd rather up there..
even tho you told him that . .think of it this way.... so he's gonna stop feeling attracted or ... stop likin you becaues you told him you're not ready? he'd prolly be dissapointed and back off a bit but YOUR open armsssss will get him back. no doubts
2006-08-25 13:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by swtnsoursauce1o9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are guys and most of the time their intentions aren't always very clear, you made the right decesion though i think by not puttting yourself in a situation tha you aren't ready for. He could have just had a one track mind and blue you off when he realized you aren't easy, if he really is a " nice" guy he will respect you and you will see him again, but make sure its with your guard up.
2006-08-25 13:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by in question 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were trying to move on for the kill, then you come out with that you dont want a relationship. So he took it as damn she dosent want to date, but if your attracted to him then go on a few dates and see how you feel, if your happy with him then why not give it a shot you know?
2006-08-25 13:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by EMT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might have been. Rejection is very hard for people. It's also possible that he just wanted to sleep with you, and now that he knows that's not a possibility, he's not going to put forth the effort anymore.
2006-08-25 13:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by J B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said "I told him I was not at that place in my life and that I needed to take time to be by myself and figure out why my old relationship didn't work."
i mean why would he be after you after you told him that umm no brother not interested that way!
2006-08-25 13:12:15 · answer #8 · answered by Love Exists? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah sure he is inerested...thats why he talked so long...
but u have to make up your mind...are u ready or not to have another relationship.....no guy would wait around for you to make up your mind when there are other fish to fry
2006-08-25 13:13:04 · answer #9 · answered by bonosgp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think ur over analyzing the situation. maye it was just late when u calld. b patient adn c what happens the nxt time ur in twn
2006-08-25 13:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by Mike Dub 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋