Anyone ever wish they were closer?

Question

My mom and me never talk!! It's really complicated. She wasnt ever really a good mom anyways. Always choosing her new bf's over us. She tried to commit sucide when i was 5 months pregnant. I was the only one who pulled her ex convict husband off her. Since me and my fiancee have moved in together. She lives with her brother. She never comes by and there house is like less then a block away. She never calls and when i do call her she finds and excuse to get off the phone and always says shell call me back and never does. It's frusterating because she comes to my work sometimes and all she does is pick fights. Like i was upset yesterday and she just sat there and smiled and was like i told you it wasnt going to work out and then drove off. and never bothered to call and see if i was okay. She's not the perfect mother but i do wish we were closer it bugs me more everyday. I just want to be close...Anyone else ever wish they were closer to there mom??

Like i became a shift supervisor at my work and i didnt make a big deal about it..because its just more money but my mom finally keeps a job for more then a month and my grandma calls to tell me she doesnt even tell me myself. i just want her to be apart of our lives. She comes and see's my daughter when it's convient for her like one day we showed up unannounced to pick up my daughter and she had a bunch of guys over it made me so mad...she wants to watch her for our honeymoon but god i dont trust her....if she'd just grow up...

I cant just not care about her..ive tried....believe me ive tried...i love her...i just dont agree on what she does.....

My daughter is 4 shes not married to that guy anymore he's back in prision...but...she is looking for the next guy to marry she's going to be 40 in december...

I know this sounds so childish cause i'm 20 but i just want my mom.....

Answer 1

it sounds like your mother only cares about herself. chances are, she'll never change. i am going through similar things with my father, i have a six month old daughter. i have chosen to stop speaking to him so he can't keep hurting me and have so much control over my emotions. good luck with whatever you do, it's not your fault!

Answer 2

I did. My mom was sort of the same as yours--she never tried to commit suicide, but she was never what I would consider a "good" mom--always too concerned about her next husband (she's been married FOUR times...always on the lookout for a "good provider). She never neglected us, but it seemed that most of the time she had more important things on her mind than her three kids.

We used to talk a couple times a year--maybe quarterly, lol. When I found out I was pregnant with my first son, things instantly changed. We are much closer now (although we can't stand being in the same room for more than an hour before one of us goes batty, lol. My mom's a very lonely person, I think.), and she actually watches my sons during the day while I work. She was a crummy mom, but she's definitely made up for it as a grandmother. I think a lot of the time parents to that...they try to make up for the mistakes they made by spoiling their grandkids. This seems to hold true in my family--my mom and my kids, her mom and me and my siblings, etc.

From the sound of your post, I would say your mom needs some type of counseling. How is she with your baby? (Or have you had the baby yet?) If not, maybe things will change once you have the baby? If you have had her/him, and she's still like this, as sad as it is, you have to ask yourself if you really want someone like your mom as a major influence in your baby's life. I know that sounds harsh, but if her husband is an ex-convict, that's not a good influence for a tiny baby. :( Any age child, really.

Answer 3

Well, I used to feel this way. My parents were meth heads, and were very distant from the family. I was so niave, I didn't even know they were doing meth, but I knew they smoked pot. About 3 years ago (5 days before the birth of my son), they got busted and went to jail for 20 hours before I could find someone to bail them out. We are now closer than ever!! I think that sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring a family closer. I now am married with my 3rd child on the way, but still live next door to my parents, and still call them and tell them when i am leaving and where I am going. I have finally reattached the bond with my parents and are not about to let that bond go. I love being close to my parents!! Don't think I am bragging or anything, but I do know how you feel. Give it time, and hopefully your mother will come around and learn to be a mother and grandmother. Good luck!!

Answer 4

I understand totally. I have a Mom and a stepmother but I am not close to either of them. I'm going to leave it at that (no more discussion) I just pray that when I have children that I will have good relationships with them. I understand you wanting to be close with your mother but it should not be done at the expense of your mental well being. Has she been abused? This may play a role in how she teases you or treats you. Have you told her how what she does hurts you and if she would stop? We are all human and make mistakes but you need to understand that your children will see this behavior too. Is this how you would want your children or others to treat you? Is this how you want your mother to treat your kids? You need to let your Mom know how important she is to your life. Maybe she needs to hear this from you. She also needs to respect you and your feelings if you two are going to have a healthy relationship. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

its sad to hear about that, how old is your mom? it sounds like she never really cared about responsiblity or growing up. selfish. no offense. i dont know what to say to you that could make you feel better, or have a closer relationship. just make sure that you dont pull the same thing to your kids.

one of my most memorable memories were of me and my mom sitting in her bed, eating leftovers and watching lifetime movies while my dad was at work, because i wasnt allowed in their room but my mom allowed it. and we would talk afterwards about the movie and she would give me life lessons. these special times started when i was 5? and im 15 now and me and my mom still do the same thing, watch movies, eat and talk, constantly i tell her EVERYTHING and she knows about all of my friends and boyfriend and gives me great advice, i can make fun of her and we joke and poke fun. i know i am blessed with a great mom. my dad...another story, he's not bad but i just dont have that relationship with him

i hope that your mom changes her way of life, at least to help raise and be an influence in your daughters life

Answer 6

she'll come to her senses sooner or later.just take care of your self and your family.i was going through something like that but with my father.and just recently he finally started looking for me and my sisters.its hard i know ,im 17 and i went about 7 years with out him.he missed both of my dauhgters being born wich is supposed to be special.but i learned to forgive and and put all my problems in Gods hand.all good things come in due time.for you child keep your head high and be a good romodel.

Answer 7

I am totally closer to my parents.They know everything about me.
About ur situation I must say if ur mother donot care about,u shouldnot care about ur mother.

Answer 8

yea i can relate to you good luck