he says he wants nothing to do with the mother he just wants to be a good father and i want nothing to do with the child we're madely in love with eachother and are getting married in 9 months. will things work out or will i be heart broken
2006-08-25 12:37:04 · 20 answers · asked by confussed 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
yes you will be heartbroken, why go into that relationship where trouble is already brewing, dump that guy.
2006-08-25 12:39:56 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ midnight ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship does continue, you have to realize that his baby is going to be a big part of his life (as it should be. There are too many "fathers" out there who split when a baby is born. Sounds like your fiancee is at least trying to do the right thing for his child, and I applaud him for that and hope he stands by his word). The baby will probably take up a good deal of his time, and there are probably going to be times that it seems like you're playing second fiddle to his baby. You have to realize that this is his child...his flesh and blood, and he needs to support the baby at all costs. The love for a child is completely different than a love for your spouse/partner. It's not that he loves you any more or less, but he loves you differently from his baby, and you have to respect this, and admire him for being a good father. I can see there being some potentially nasty jealousy issues on your part.
My suggestion to you is that before you marry, you should seek counseling. I forget the word for it, but there's a word for counseling that engaged people go through. Sometimes it's through a local church with a priest/pastor, and sometimes it's with a psychologist.
2006-08-25 14:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your situation. When I got engaged to my husband he had been separated for 7 years and had 2 daughters that he paid child support for. However, he did not see his daughters because their mother was a horror and made up horrible lies about him and his parents. Meanwhile the girls lived less than a mile away. My mom wasn't too happy about my decision because she knew that there was going to be some problems one day. Well, she was right as soon as this woman found out that my husband remarried she made our life miserable She took him to court and we were paying child support up the nose. It was stressful for us and at the time I was pregnant. We went through very difficult times and we did without a Few things because of their medical, dental bills and support payments. It's going to be tough and your going to have to be honest and keep your communication open. I married my best friend and I don't regret what we have been through It's been 15 years and I love him more and more everyday.
2006-08-25 12:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by joeysgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends-it takes a really strong woman to deal with a "baby's mama" situation. your fiance is in for a rude awakening, however, because he will have to deal with the baby's mama no matter how you look at it if he wants to be involved in the child's life. maturity level for all parties involved is a major issue and hopefully everyone will be able to remember that their willingness to "get along' will dictate what kind of all around relationship this kid will have with his father, step-mother, and his own mother. u said you wanted nothing to do with the child, but if he will be seeing or dealing with his father and the father stays with you, you will have to deal with him in some way, shape or form. (don't hold anything against this kid-none of this is his fault) i hope you and your fiance have a strong, trusting relationship. it will make things that much easier if you do. should you be cursed with an ignorant "baby's mama", keep your cool and limit your involvement to necessities only. good luck 2 you
p.s. before you get too far into this, you might want to have your fiance get a paternity test done just to make sure it's his kid to begin with. otherwise, why go through all that drama for nothing
2006-08-25 12:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by baybeegrl5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him be a good father,the child deserves that much.You should be proud that he wants to take care of his child.Not all fathers do.If you love him than you will love and except his baby,it is a part of him. If you cannot do that,then maybe you should'nt marry him.Why would'nt you want anything to do w/this baby?The baby does not get to choose it's parents.Your being selfish and acting like it is the babies fault.Don't push him out of his childs life because you want him all to yourself.Do the right thing and encourage him to be apart of its life.
2006-08-25 13:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by hotmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming she is less than 9 months along. Meaning, you two only been together for less than 9 months. However, already engaged and "madly" in love?
uh huh............................this sounds like Britney Spears and Kevin Fed situation...
As far as the child. He has a right the child and you going to have to accept it. You will have to have something to do with the child. It will be your step child and not right and fair to the child for you to be Mrs Evil step mother.
I see a very rocky road.
2006-08-25 16:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember one thing your fiance will alway be in his exgirfriend life. she is the mother of his baby. there's nothing you can do about that. he will have to pay child support. he will want to spend time with his kid. i don't know what else to tell you. you might be heart broken. who's know when the baby is born and he see his kid he might have a change of heart and get back with her. i wish you alot of luck
2006-08-25 12:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Nicko912 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're allready planning to marry someone you've been with for less than 9 months? I think you should wait until after his baby is born THEN maybe make wedding plans if everything works out.
2006-08-25 12:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by sarah_lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you 2 haven't been together for long. If you are engaged and he has a baby on the way with someone else. If you are so "madly in love" with him and he wants to be in the baby's life then you should want to as well. The baby is important to him and he/she should be important to you as well. It's a partner thing!!
2006-08-28 15:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by luvalways719 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure everything will work out fine. If he wanted to be with the mother dont u think he would be? Just relax. Alot of people have babies with ladies they arnt with anymore and never would get back with. All you have to be is concerned and watch his behavior if he ever stands hanging at her house more and more just watch in case he may be cheating
2006-08-25 12:55:36 · answer #10 · answered by April S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both sound a bit immature for ANYTHING to work out. First, realize that that child will be a part of your life forever and deserves to be loved. Second, there is no such thing as "madely."
2006-08-25 12:40:42 · answer #11 · answered by sunshinegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋