WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat -- with a serious face, of course.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity, e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy
2006-08-25 12:33:54 · 19 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Honestly I thought I was going insane until I read this. Thank you for saving my life.
Have a great weekend.
2006-08-25 12:39:28 · answer #1 · answered by latina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol these r some seriously CRAZY n FUNNY stuff!!!!
definately made my day!did u come up with these?
even if u didn't (they should of copywrited it!)u deserve an award(a trip to a mental institution all expenses paid!!l) lol all fun aside its good stuff so keep em coming
2006-08-25 19:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by kerry15crazycool 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those were funny! I especially like the decaf/espresso coffee one!! That's great :)
2006-08-25 19:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by ananswerer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to go to health food stores asking for 'health beer' or, "that new beverage that contains absolutely no water". Then they invented near beer and vodka.
2006-08-25 20:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha I used to work at BK and you'd be amazed how many idiots do that serious as hell as if we didn't know!
2006-08-25 19:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL. LOL. Hilarious!
Thanks for the laughs.
Have a great weekend!
2006-08-26 18:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bloody brilliant!
2006-08-25 19:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess i just had my daily dose of therapy. Thank you, this really made my day. LOL :'D
2006-08-25 20:18:11 · answer #8 · answered by luvlynspecial 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well done! i like your style,Thanks For The Laugh! that is true humer
2006-08-25 21:15:18 · answer #9 · answered by krusty_blue_spaz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or you could read this long azz post and that in itself will drive you ***** crazy
2006-08-25 19:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋