i feel so unactractive?

Question

im 29 weeks preg, due in nov, and i feel like a blob, nasty. i have a two year old and when i became pregnant of him, my body drastically changed, i never went back to the old me, how can i feel attrative with myself i feel embarased in front of my husband.
any suggestions?? please dont be rude

oh and its even worser when my hubby calls me a fat hoe all the time!

and i try to ask him if he could watch our son for like 1 hour and he wont till this day he wont, just so i could get a pedicure!
i havent had no time on my own for like 2 and half years.

Answer 1

I think you should have a heart to heart with your husband. You didn't get pregnant by yourself. He needs to help you. You are pregnant and a mother already, you need extra help from him. It isn't right that he won't give yo a break. You need to tell him how you feel about the name calling, and if he respects you and truly cares about you, he won't do it anymore. Is there anyone else that can give you a break. It is not good to be overwhelmed. And yes pregnancy changes most women forever, but I heard a actress say her body is her" badge of honor". I agree and I thought that was a good statement. So make the best of it. Don't feel bad. You should feel comfortable with your husband. He's supposed to love you unconditionally. It is important however that yo are comfortable with you. But it will be over soon and then you can try to get your body the way you want it. Just please be happy and try to stay stress free for your children.

Answer 2

It's your hormones acting up and making you depressed - don't be too hard on yourself. If you can afford it, a spa day or even a manicure is awfully nice. This is a good time to eat right (for the two of you) - ask you Dr. if you can do light exercise...a brisk walk with the 2 year old is exercise! If you live near a hospital, they sometimes have pregnancy classes/ pregnant exercise classes, some with child care. Being with others in the same shape is liberating! I doubt if there is a woman on earth who has been pregnant and not felt like a blob - they just don't admit it. Can you tell your husband how you are feeling? I am lucky - mine looked astonished and said he was SO jealous that I had the lumps and bumps and he never could. Even if it wasn't true, it sure sounded great! Good luck...

Answer 3

Get a babysitter if you can and GET OUT with some girlfriends. Lunch, movie or whatever! Realize your having a baby and that's why your body is changing once again. You are not nasty! Take the 2yr old for a walk just get out and enjoy yourself at the park etc. It's just hard feeling dumpy and it happens to us all from time to time! I am embarrassed to say this but when i was pregnant I'd look and fat people and feel better about myself. I at least had a reason or so i thought. Now i realize how MEAN i was sometimes overweight people have health issues. Good Luck & take care!

Answer 4

Get your hair done. Get a manicure. Just do something to give your self a little lift. You probably feel worse than you look because all of your hormones. Remember that there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who loves others so much that she is able to bring people into this world to love- mothers.

If you need to, do some light exercise to get your endorphins pumping- they are the hormones that make you feeling good, and are released through exercising. An aqua-natal class should be good for this. Plus, after the birth, you can keep up with swimming by going to the pool with your family.

Good luck, sweetie. I wish you and your family all the best for the future.

Answer 5

i just had a baby and let me tell you, and im sure you already know, that you arent going to feel pretty for awhile. it doesnt help that your husband is saying those things even if he is joking. im sure that he means it in a teasing, but he might not understand that because you are pregnant (not to mention a woman) and it hurts more. so please inform him, because believe it or not-they really dont know until you tell them. it's not that they are dumb, it's just that the majority of them cant look into things that deeply.
prenatal lingire does exist. and if you cant find any, get some small size plus size. push yourself to by a matching panty set-and wearing that alone will make you feel beautiful. thats exactly what i did; and it does work. i know that you probably dont feel so great physically, but use some psychology and try to feel better mentally first. a chain reaction should happen to where if you feel better mentally-then you'll be encouraged to put on some cute maternity clothes, some make-up and hey maybe some lingire! there's nothing more beautiful about a woman then when she is pregnant and radiant about it. be proud my dear! plus, you have bigger boobies, no? take pride in them, no matter how much they hurt! : )
good luck!
p.s. and for postpartum, you know the feeling lasts a little longer and sometimes its even more extreme. try not to concentrate on it, get your husband to compliment you and tease you less. and get into the practice of pampering yourself even if it's just a nice, long shower with good smelling body wash and lotion!

Answer 6

You need to practice a little different kind of "self-talk."

Do you believe that a person's body has to be totally perfect?
What if your husband had a medical condition that caused him to gain a lot of weight, or lose a lot of weight? Would you suddenly find him no longer attractive?

Love is about so much more. When we have children, our bodies change, but our hearts and minds change, too. Your children believe you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Learn to love that woman who cares for her family, and quit comparing yourself to other people.

Read the children's story "The Velveteen Rabbit."

Maybe you just need to get a little more exercise. Spend some time each day pampering yourself and taking beautifully-scented bubble baths. Work on that if it makes you feel better. But don't put yourself down.

Answer 7

I always feel unattractive if I'm not working out. I'm not talking heavy working out, just walking. I have a 17 month old and I don't look how I used to look. I hate my body now. We're talking about having a 2nd one and I'm scared because I want to lose some weight 1st. It's hard. I have no motivation. I used to be in great shape and now I'm ok but I don't feel sexy by any means.
My advice is what I'm trying to do. Workout when you can so you don't gain more weight than you have to so your body can go back to where you were when you began in time. Then try to eat healthy and live healthy and eventually your appearance will reflect your healthy habits.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Answer 8

Have your hair done and buy a new dress. Get someone to watch the two year old and just enjoy a day out with friends or just treating yourself. Your worth it. After this baby, take precautions not to get pregnant again and start an exercise program, even if it's only getting out walking everyday pushing the baby carriage for two miles.

Answer 9

your husband loves you the way you are I'm sure. You have giving him now two beautiful things. your a mom and enjoy that. If you are truly worried about your looks try a day at the spa and relax. Try getting your hair cut and styled. Let your husband or a close friend or family member know what you are felling and let them help you out for a little while. Stress is enough raising a 2 yr old as it is. good luck and congrats.

Answer 10

counseling...if your hubby calls you names like that you'll feel unattractive no matter what you look like. you need to have your baby and find a new support system - maybe a young mother's group, or find a play group for little kids where you can take the toddler....ask a friend to sit or call your family for help.

talk to your doctor. you may also be dealing with major hormonal changes...with a child that young and another pregnancy your body may never have adjusted, hormonally, to its pre-pregnancy state. they may be able to help you.

finally, recognize that you, who you are, is what's beautiful - the person who share with those around you...and that by exposing yourself to his ridicult and unloving statements is undermining your true potential for beauty. find something little for you....maybe take a bath - with music on and the door shut - so you can have some alone time while he watches the kids....or something along those lines so you can relax and just find the space to reconnect with yourself as an individual and not just some blobby mommy baby making machine.