My husband of almost 11 years came back from his first business trip ever. He was gone for a week, came home said hi to our 4 kids and the animals, and gave me a quick hug and kiss. Then he took his suitcase upstairs and unpacked, changed his clothes and took off to his "2nd job" wiring a car for a friend of the family. I think he was here for a total of 20 minutes. Didn't even ask how our week was or anything. Just asked one of the kids if he missed him. Am I a wus for wanting a little more and feeling like he didn't even miss me? Been married for almost 11 years and the longest we've ever been apart is 2 days. Am I silly to feel this way?
2006-08-25 11:46:16 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He probably could not wait to see his girlfriend. Stop being disappointed about your life and the behavior of others. Don't have expectations of others.......then you won't be disappointed!
2006-08-25 11:51:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, he gave you a hug & kiss. Lots of men don't bother to do that, even. He is working 2 jobs. You are very busy there at home, but if you had a job and then came home to leave for another job, would you have acted differently? I think the problem here is that he works a lot and you probably don't work outside the home. Maybe instead of him working 2 jobs, you could get a part time job and let him stay at home with the kids & the pets sometimes. Then the two of you might understand better how the other feels.
2006-08-25 11:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it was only a week.
But on the other hand, I can say that I would have been more affectionate with my wife and spent a lot of time with the family. Maybe he feels pressured to do the wiring job? Or maybe he has feelings about an unresolved fight?
Either way you dont know how lucky you are. To be married for eleven years and the longest you have been apart is 1 week?
You really shouldn't complain when my wife is alone for months on end when I deploy
2006-08-25 11:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not silly, but after 11 years of marriage your husband is so use to you and the kids he probably was just happy to get away for a while, to just be by himself again, without the responsibility of the family. Perhaps you should stop being so available to him. He would miss you if you are not there. If you started going places and leaving him with the kids. If that want work, get a sitter. As long as he knows where to find you what's there to miss. It's sad but true.
2006-08-25 11:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't expect that someone I'm around with will always be up and happy all the time. I'd expect fights within those 11 years, serious disagreements, and disappointments, etc. Perhaps he had troubles during his trip.
Perhaps he's tired. If you are suspicious all the time, it will hurt a relationship, for the other party knows that you are oversensitive and easily tipped. But who here is to know your exact situation not being a witness. If you don't have the fine judgment, than no stranger can help you.
2006-08-25 12:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lonely Soul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like a previous poster said, men are very, very different in the way they think about these things. Don't be needy and don't drag out the 'feelings' talk, but do communicate. Short and to the point...that's the way men like it.
I travel a lot for business (believe me, it sucks) and when I get home I want to resume my normal life as quickly as possible and forget completely about being gone.
Here's my suggestion, and please don't think me crude: Say "Honey I realized how much I missed you when you were gone. I know you missed the kids and I hope you missed me. Now unzip your pants and get your coming home present" Of course, a long sloppy bj will follow......I'd suggest making this a little family tradition. Your husband's attitude will change, trust me.
2006-08-25 12:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by DJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry! He was probably just thinking of going to the other job and not paying attention. Men tend to get wrap ed up in there lives and forget you need there attention too. When he comes home give him a hug and kiss and tell him you love him and that you missed him. It will all work out. Good luck.
2006-08-25 12:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by anne04char 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...but there is trouble in Paradise. What's on his agenda?
He has got something on his mind and it is not his family. Puttering around give him space where he can think. Those wheels are turning. Watch carefully, very carefully a pattern will emerge. You have only seen the flag..a warning sign..
2006-08-29 07:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he got some when he was away! so come over to my house and get yours. put it this way if i was gone a week from my wife or g/f and had not got some i would be hittin that hard cause i would have been in need if you know what i mean. and i am 42 and still want it EVERYDAY and can everyday. so i would think something strange is afoot
2006-08-25 11:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by thelistcard 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's probably ok. it's the first time in 11 years! granted it would have been nice of him to be more affectionate but i wouldn't rack your brain about it. instead plan an evening that embodies the one you wanted to have with him when he came home. do i sound like Dear Abby?
2006-08-25 11:51:11 · answer #10 · answered by jimmy's guitar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you two stay in touch while he was away email, phone, txt msg?
If you two always talked then there wasn't anything for him to miss. Maybe he was a little disappointed because nothing changed from the time he left.
2006-08-25 11:56:01 · answer #11 · answered by Storm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋