I had an good relation with one of my collegue who is married. We shared intimate details about each other. She said she was not happy with her marriage and came very close to me. Now she has a huge crush on other guy who also happens to be my collegue. We 3 of us are very close to each other and I am not able to digest the fact that the girl whome I liked so much left me for this guy. Tough we had no commitment initially I loved her very much. Both of them got close when I was away from office on important assignmnet for 4 weeks. I get frustrated when I see both of them flirting with each other quite often in the office. Initially she kept denying that they are just friends but one day she confirmed that she has a huge crush on him and she likes him very much. She still wants me to be her friend and wants me to accept their relation. Please advise how I can come out of this situation. It is very difficult as we work in the same office and see each other daily.
2006-08-25 11:31:55 · 29 answers · asked by Sagar R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? SHE IS MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-25 11:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by fawn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you got stung over a married woman. What do you excpect from a woman who is married and flaunts herself to all the men in the office.? I can bet any money, when this married women is alone and this new guy is gone, she will drift right back over to you. But if she does , don't be gullable. A woman like her will never stay with the same man. She will continue that lifestyle until she is so wrinkled that no one will want her. Think of her poor husband. He possibly knows all about her low life ways and is trying to figure out a way to get rid of her. Hopefully, she is childless. How would you like to slip your feet into her husbands shoes ??? You said you shared intimate details with this loose woman. I hope she doesn't repeat it to all the other women in the office. You have my Sincere Sympathy, in having to work with her now. It's like she is rubbing your nose in her anal area. I would do my work and do not let her make you move on. There is no shame to this female. BUT don't go back to her.
2006-08-25 19:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, that's a big one. Well the fact that she didn't know how you felt about her before you left for the 4 week trip, there's nothing much you can do. You just have to get over this one baby. It's gonna be pretty rough considering you 3 work together. What you can do is get together just you and her and explain to her how you did feel and ask her to please kinda chill on the flirting at work and to please consider how your feeling. If you all are the good friends you say you are, she will consider your feeling. That's not asking to much. The other guy does not have to know anything. Keep this between you and her. If not there goes another problem on the job.
2006-08-25 18:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Mee Mee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let it go. She is married and she is not up for the grabbing anyway. Think of it as you just dodged a bullet and saved yourself a whole bunch of heartache in the future. If she is ready to cheat on her husband and she got close to you then left you before you guys could even get something started...imagine what she is going to do for this next guy.
Find some one single that can love you as much as your deserve to be loved.
Good Luck
2006-08-25 18:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by Tammy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See it for what it clearly is. She is a manipulator. She tells you how bad things are at home, and looks to you for support, and then you think she is building a relationship with you. When your back is turned, she finds another guy to play as a fool. She is also doing this to her husband. She really isn't worth spending all this time on. She is in it for her and her feelings at the cost of every one else's. Just except that you didn't get taken to the cleaners, and that she is still cheating on her husband with another man, as she did with you. It doesn't matter if there was sex involved, because by coming to you and not her husband, she actually stopped caring and showing commitment to him. You are lucky to get out of it so easily.
2006-08-25 18:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK well obviously she has issues that she is getting in other relationships when she is married, dont worry she will leave the other guy as well and move on to someone else. This girl is a lost cause you should leaver her alone and oh yeah there is the little part that SHE'S MARRIED
2006-08-25 18:45:23 · answer #6 · answered by successisnteasy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember she was never yours completely because she belongs to her husband. No matter what her gripe is about the marriage.
Treat her like a colleague who is married. Speak to her on your way to your desk. Do your work. Let the guy (on whom she's crushing) have her. Be her friend, if you want to be her friend.
If you can't handle being her friend, then just be what you are...her co-worker. End your day with the evening farewell.
Leave work.
Find your own woman who will return your love and be happy.
2006-08-25 18:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by divabylaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just get over her. You knew that it wasn't a good situation to begin with because she is married. She has done you a huge favor by moving on to some other guy who now has to deal with the fact she is married and all the problems that eventually will happen because of that.
2006-08-25 18:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She wasn't yours in the first place, but I'm sure it's not easy to see her with the other guy. If it ever went further than friends and didn't work out, your working relationship would be ruined. Right now, the way things are, you can still salvage the working relationship, so I'd just pull back a bit and be friends, but not as chummy.
2006-08-25 18:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should RUN, not ealk away from this woman. If she is disloyal to her husband, and is now disloyal with you---SHE IS DISLOYAL. Think how many opportunities to meet a wonderful girl you missed while you have been hung up on this married woman!! Look at your male friend with pity. She is a user of people and is enjoying all of this male attention instead of spending her efforts fixing or getting out of her "unhappy" marriage. Take this advice and consider yourself lucky you weren't hurt by her husband or married to her while she cheated on you!
2006-08-25 18:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by trulyone50 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a tough one..painful..if she is married, but looking to start relations with men at the office, BIG red flag on her intentions or her emotional well being. so although it's painful, you are better off. having said that, setting boundaries, perhaps keeping the relationship cordial but professional, allowing yourself time to adjust and heal. in time, if you still want to examine the possibility of a friendship, just make sure you are comfortable and she is willing to accept your parameters. i wish you well. drama in the workplace is always a negative diversion.
2006-08-25 18:37:30 · answer #11 · answered by kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋