Do you think marriage is necessary in this day and age?

Question

I am ready to have children (I'm 27) but I'm not married. We plan on staying together forever, but neither of us are in a hurry to marry. However, my biological clock is ticking. Give me your opinions.

I was married once before and it is so easy to just quit and get a divorce. I think because of that I am tainted a bit. My parents also just got divorced a couple years ago after 34 years of marriage. Somehow it doesn't seem as sacred as it used to. On the other hand, I love this man with all my heart and soul. He is definately the one, so I think we will go for it eventually. He is not opposed to marriage...he even makes hints about a ring. I guess I just want it to feel permanent and I have a somewhat distorted view.

Thank you for all the wonderful advice!

Answer 1

Well getting married wont make someone stay.
What it does do is show that you two have made a life long choice to fight against everyone and everything that comes your way because you love each other. I know that in this day and age people and society try's to paint a very different picture of what you should and shouldn't do. I think It's sad that we are losing some of the most important values that has held
this society together for so long. I know that for me and my husband of 14 years it has made us feel closer and have a bond that even when hard times come and good times come we did it together and can face it together. I know that you are wondering what is right and wrong but what about the child you are going to have? when they get older they wont even think about it they will just do what you have. I think that not getting married people are just living, sharing throw away relationships.
It's to convenient for people to just pack up and leave because they don't have losses or gains.
People don't stop and think before they act that's why we have so many divorce's in this country. That's what society teaches "if it feels good do it" I think that your on the right road by really sitting down and thinking about it.

Answer 2

I think that depends on your own morals and values. I personally am 27, have two children, am divorced, and I don't want to get married again. If I find a man that I love and want to spend my life with, then I may get married again if it feels right, but I might just decide that it's not necessary... I guess I'm not much help! Just be true to yourself... what are his thoughts? Would he be willing to raise children with you and not be married? And why don't you want to get married? My personal reason is a little screwed up I'll admit- if I find myself in a relationship like the last, I want to get out with as little trouble possible... my divorce took 3 years! Good luck!

Answer 3

I honestly don't think that being married is a guarantee of staying together forever. If you are happy the way things are ...why change it? A marriage license is just a piece of paper but believe me ..... it changes everything. There are alot of families that have children involved where Mom and Dad aren't married and I think they do just fine. As long as Mom & Dad provide a loving environment for the children things should be fine. God Bless on whatever decision you make. Follow your heart.

Answer 4

Your 'clock' has nothing to do with marriage. I just got married to my wonderful husband and our lives have already started to OOZE happiness. I read in the paper a couple days ago that studies show marriage helps with healing depression.

We both had depression before we met...and we were much happier afterwards...and now, since getting married, it's as if life has purpose and meaning.

It's not for anyone else but ourselves to recognize our commitment to each other. Our two souls being joined as one.

Best to you in your decision. You need to trust what your heart says.

Answer 5

Necessary no. But it is something sacred and you are looked upon in society instead of being looked down on. I'm sure your children will also feel better knowing you are married and share the same name as them. This is a complicated question. No, you don't have to be married in order to have kids but I think everyone feels better down the road when it is all legalized by a paper and vows...

Answer 6

I think it is very important to be married. Especially if you are wanting to have a baby. It is your responsibility as a parent to choose a responsible Dad. If you are both not wanting to commit to each other how can you expect to be committed to a baby? I think you should talk to your partner about it and figure out with each other what it is you both want for your future. Kind of funny your biological clock is ticking but your commitment clock is on snooze????

Answer 7

I think marriage is important so if you think hes the one then i would go for it. But don't rush anything like that. Do what feels right to you. Marriage is a sacred love.

Answer 8

Marriage is something special that you should only do it if you feel that you can become one with the other person.
Staying together is fine too, the most important is to find the right person.
Good luck,

Answer 9

I think it does when having children is involved. It's the sign that you make to say "I'm here to make this happen".

It might not be forever has we all hope, but it sure is the best chance for making a family work out.

Answer 10

I think there's still a stigma attached to people who don't marry, but it's definately not necessary. If you are committed to one another and trust one another and don't feel the need to be married, then don't do it. It's just a piece of paper.

Though there are tax benefits... :)